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Funny Poems About Jobs or Jobs Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Jobs poems and/or funny poems about Jobs. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Jobs funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Jobs Poems.

Poem Details | by Charlie Knowlton |
Categories: funny, jobs, work,

Senryu traffic





                     bent over the wheel
                     the plumber rolls down his window 
                     just a crack


Poem Details | by SEAN SOLOMON |
Categories: funny, jobs, work,

Please Hold

“Thank you for calling….”
Is what’s trained to be said
But when they get irate and lewd
I feel like hanging up instead.

This person’s always right, that person’s never wrong.
Mr boss sir, your breath is oh so strong!
they’re mean and crass, just downright rude 
 I might just be naughty and get the big boss sued.

I give picture perfect smiles,
the really artificial Kind
Welcome and please come again,
you just died ten times in my mind

Just got off the last call and I don’t mean to be crude 
But goodbye till tomorrow, the next  complaint I’ll elude


A Collaboration With Stephanie Allen/Niketa McKenzie/Sean Solomon

Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: humorous, identity, jobs,

What They Do

Carpet layers have to be on the floor
Deep sea divers love to go down
Computer gamers can't seem to stop
Taxi drivers are all over town

A dentist will do it till it hurts
A sailor sure likes a big swell 
A hunter will do it with a bang
While a gymnast will dismount well

Lawyers reach into their briefs
A trash man holds on to his nose
Painters always use longer strokes
A ballerina stands on her toes

Salesmen have learned to use their mouth
While students try to use their head
The police will go on a big bust
And a maid always cleans the bed

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: career, funny, humor, hyperbole, jobs, success, work,

Will Do Chores

I can do this, I can do that
I can do anything, splicketty-splat.

I'm quite the expert, and certainly quick
Excellent service here, licketty-click. 

Your toaster won't roast'er?
	Your car needs repair?
I'll fix your teepee, 
	your sofa and chair
I'll cure your doggy 
	of fleas, lice, and pox
I'll wash your diapers, 
	your windows, your socks.

I'm inexpensive, and fast as a wink
Available any time, blinkity-blink.


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: funny, jobs,

The Boss Is Coming

She is no Simon Le’gree, but she should be.  It would be easier.
She is way too lenient, if you ask me.
But yesterday she was too strict.
Click. Click. Click.
Conversation ceases.
Act normal.
Sure. Yeah.  Uh-huh.
Yes, that sounds fine. Sure, I can do that.
Click. Click. Click.
What did she want you to do?
Are you going to do it?
Never mind. It’s a bad idea, I do not have to take orders from her.
She is not really our boss anyway. She just thinks she …
Click. Click Click.
Okay, Mrs. B, sounds good. Sure, no problem.
Click. Click. Click.
Are you going to do it now?
Maybe.


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: celebration, humorous, jobs,

SWAGGER

Ted breezed into the house like he owned the place with an cocky smirk plastered all over his face I know that look son; just tell me what you’ve done - you’ve not robbed a bank and now you’re on the run’! He puffed out his chest and strutted with a swagger then jumped on the table and danced like Mick Jagger He said, mum don’t fret, there won’t be a lynch mob - I’ve just had an interview and got my very first job! Swagger Poetry Contest Sponsored by Line Gauthier 9/5/19

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous, jobs,

Take This Job And Stuff It

I worked in a bowlin' place settin' pins,

Tryin' not to let a ball break my shins!

In those days of yore, pins were set by hand,

And you had to hustle to beat the band!

I was around fourteen when I was hired,

And was around fourteen when I was fired!

The boss man paid me fifty cents per hour,

'Til one night our relationship went sour!

I advised him where he could stuff the job!

Said he, "Find another line of work, Bob!"

Couldn't face workin' there 'til I retired.

Found work pumpin' gas when I was rehired!

8 November 2014 - Entry for Sara Hendrick's "Jobs" Contest

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny, girl, humor, imagery, jobs, people, places,

Lathered to Leathered

Hey barber, give me a shoe and a shine As he's lathered he feels just fine Then he views the shoe shiner Wow, what breasts, nothing finer My hands on them I wish they were mine Young lady, let's spend time in a motel room Get to know each other, vroom vroom I'm married, och, you'll be fine I'll pay, say your working overtime You tell him, the barbers my groom . Challenged to write this based on a joke!

Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: humorous, jobs,

Careful What You Wish For

There once was an ambitious man named Eddie,
who wanted a job in the traveling industry.
The genie granted his wish,
but Ed never expected this;
an employer's note saying, "Welcome to the DMV!"

Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: funny

Jobs Wanted

The
American
Idle

won hm

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: business, funny, humorous, jobs, success, work,

The best job

Your own successful biz,
that's what your best job is!

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by Warner Baxter |
Categories: funny, hilarious, humorous, jobs, rude, society, star,

Hedgehog - adult

I ONCE MET A MAN IN **** WHO’S TOOL WAS BIGGER THAN CORN NO TWITTER NOR BLOG THEY CALLED HIM HEDGEHOG HE HUFFED PUFFED AND BLEW HIS OWN HORN

Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: humorous, irony, jobs,

Daydreaming at the Pizzeria

She said it so matter-o-factly,
that girl, Morgan Kay Ackley.
"One day it will be so
I'll be rolling in the dough!"
But being a pizza maker what do you mean exactly?



NOTE: This was another funny story at work. Not exactly my joke, but I turned into a limerick for laughter's sake. A girl was telling me about how she's be famous one day... how she'll be "rolling in the dough"... and I was like, "aren't you doing that already?"... Ooohh good times they were... good times.

Poem Details | by Warner Baxter |
Categories: body, dance, funny, girl, jobs, lust, sexy,

Downtown - adult

DOWNTOWN WHERE GIRLS DANCE ON POLES FOR A PRICE THEY’LL BARE THEIR SOULS THEY’LL SIT ON YOUR LAP YOU’LL GO FAP FAP FAP UNTIL YOU LOOSE YOUR CONTROL

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: fishing, humorous, irony, jobs, time,

WHAT IRONY - A REAL FISHERMAN'S TALE





He wanted to go and catch scallops gets into a boat called a shallops* He didn’t look at the time And had committed a crime It’s into the court he now gallops Five thousand pounds he’s now got to pay A ‘timely’ error on the said day This ‘scallop advisor’ Just should have been wiser This fishy story won’t go away! Poem based rather ironically on a TRUE story in the Manx press today http://www.manxradio.com/news/isle-of-man-news/scallop-advisor-fined-for-illegal-fishing *a little poetic licence about his boat but a Shallops is a sailing boat used for coastal fishing 15th January 2018

Poem Details | by Diane M Quinlan |
Categories: career, how i feel, humorous, jobs, work,

MY INTERVIEW WITH MYSELF

 career, how i feel, humorous, jobs, work

For Contest---  

My Interview With Myself  ©

Do you like yourself?
Yes better than most I know now!
Are you intelligent to learn the work?
I am best with ‘hands-on’ trial and error!
Would you hire yourself?
That is a hard question!
I would have to say yes and no.
What score would you be if given?
Out of ten being the highest?
I would say ‘mid-stream’
Well than you just drowned!

Didee/Diane M Quinlan
June 14, 2015

Poem Details | by Gorlum Gorlum |
Categories: crazy, funny, health, humor, jobs, psychological,

Limerick: shrinks, part 2

Once attending professional course
Shrinks attempted to fix mind flaws
They gorged on cocaine
But primitive brain
Has failed to achieve sacred pause

Poem Details | by Warner Baxter |
Categories: blessing, funny, humor, jobs, prayer, satire,

The **** Star Prayer

Lord,
We do give thee thanks for the abundance
That is ours in glorious nudity
Even though some of it is saline
And some with silicon
Bless each and every one
~~~
Tell your mind what your body 
already knows
~~
Understand this,
They wanna be you, they wanna be just like you
Because right now, you are the sexiest
Woman on God’s green Earth 

Amen
?

NOTE: This piece is NOT about ***********, it is a satire, a humorous jab at 
the Industry
Please enjoy with this in mind or skip over it completely Thank you

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: humorous, jobs, life,

monster at Heart

I am just a Zombie

And I feel a little balmy

Until I get some coffee in me



Then I dress a little slummy

Kind-a like an ancient Mummy

As I sit and watch, morning TV



I'm just a monster at heart



When I scratch my scapula

I make a perfect Dracula

My arm, hiding half of my face



I look into the mirror and

I see a hairy man

Then shave until the Werewolf's erased 



I'm just a Monster at heart



I'll never be on time

Walking like I'm Frankenstein

But I hate this stupid job anyway



So, I will be less physical

And make myself in visible

Then quit this job and just slip away



I'm just a monster at heart



Poem Details | by Henry Victor |
Categories: adventure, character, giggle, house, jobs, sound, wife,

noise and ooze

my commode has been making noise
that my wife tried to fix it
only to make it worse
and now it started leaking too

by the time i saw it
the washroom was flooded
and i’m no plumber to fix it
neither am i an idiot to avoid it

so, i did with manly mettle, mettle with it
and tightened, at the end, the right nut
for both the noise, and the ooze to prevent

we did leave home thereafter
i, carrying a washroom in ooze
while my wife, walking in perfect poise


Poem Details | by Stephanie Allen |
Categories: funny, jobs, work,

Please Hold

“Thank you for calling….”
Is what’s trained to be said
But when they get irate and lewd
I feel like hanging up instead.

This person’s always right, that person’s never wrong.
Mr boss sir, your breath is oh so strong!
they’re mean and crass, just downright rude 
I might just be naughty and get the big boss sued.

I give picture perfect smiles,
the really artificial Kind
Welcome and please come again,
you just died ten times in my mind

Just got off the last call and I don’t mean to be crude 
But goodbye till tomorrow, the next  complaint I’ll elude


A collaboration with Niketa McKenzie/Sean Solomon/Stephanie Allen

Poem Details | by Bill Lindsay |
Categories: anger, career, change, funny, jobs,

I Didn't Get The Job

Dear Sir or Madam,

I 
am 
afraid
that we
are not able
to offer you the
position, but we do
thank you for allowing us 
to complete your background
check; it was absolutely hilarious.  

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, jobs,

If I

If I ran a hairdresser’s I’d call it ‘curl up and dye’
I think it’s a very clever name, you can see the reason why

If I was a carpenter I’d be called Mr Wood
My sign would read ‘Mr Wood would fix it if he could’ 

If I was a glazier I’d be called ‘ I know your pane’
So if you broke a window, you’d soon shout out my name

If I was a DIY man I’d call myself ‘Bodge it and Scarper’
I guess that’s not such a good idea!

Poem Details | by Rachel Fawcett |
Categories: crazy, feelings, fun, giggle, how i feel, jobs, work,

Meltdown

My manager’s voice is booming 
telling me my deadlines looming
overwhelmed I begin to drown
Whoop,whoop,whoop, red alert – MELTDOWN!

eyes in the office are staring
wet excuses I'm declaring
I'm paralysed by my boss’ frown
Whoop,whoop,whoop, red alert – MELTDOWN!

laughter floating like bonfire smoke
there's no deadline that was a joke
my boss is now the office clown
Whoop,whoop,whoop, red alert – MELTDOWN!

relieved I find myself smiling
work for me no longer piling
lets all leave early, go down town
Whoop,whoop,whoop, red alert – MELTDOWN!

Poem Details | by Carol B Tyre |
Categories: courage, encouraging, environment, humor, jobs, poetry, tree,

I'll Be Back

I'm no good at trimming trees,
Cut right through them like a breeze.

Snipping here and snipping there,
Like someone without a care.
 
Make no-sense to hire someone,
For I've already begun.

I always start way-down low,
Fast and fiery as I go.

Where blossoms are crunchy brown,
Still and quiet on the ground.

Branches green and full of leaves,
Without one trace of disease.

Stopping here and stopping there,
As fragments fall everywhere.

Leaving the trees very thin,
While I stand and scratch my chin.

I'll trim just a little more,
For I am a conqueror.

Upward with my best attack,
Knowing next year ... I'll Be Back!