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Funny Poems About May or May Funny Poems

Humorous and funny May poems and/or funny poems about May. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious May funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other May Poems.

Poem Details | by Lisa Bailey |
Categories: childhood, funny, mother, son, mother,

Mother May I

Mother may I 
Go out and play
My child
Have you cleaned your room today

Are your toys packed away
in your toy chest with care
Yes mother yes 
its all in there

Did you make your bed 
like i showed you how
yes mother yes
may I go now

Yes son yes
after a brief inspection
son shakes his head
not what I was expecting

Never-mind mother
I'm going to my room
oh by the way
can you hand me the broom?


Poem Details | by Lewis Raynes |
Categories: humorous, life,

Dreams of what may have been

I’d love to sit on a big leather chair,
And smoke a fat Cuban cigar.
And own a Monet,
And a little chalet,
And drive a red hot Jaguar.

But, alas, here I sit on an old wooden bench,
Sucking a ciggy filled with tar.
And my art's on a doormat,
In a cheap council flat,
And I drive an old rusted car.

Poem Details | by Chris Hagy |
Categories: bird, funny, may, nature,

Desperate for a Date

All day long the little bird cries
Over and over again he tries
Full array for all the ladies passing by

Can't they see he's found a home
Where little babies can be grown
But he cannot do it alone

He's desperate for a date
He really needs a mate
In month of May it's not too late

On the little red house there sits a perch
Where on and off he chirps and chirps
But all the ladies only flirt

So alas this tale has but a sad end
As the little house sits with no one to attend
For it seems his services he could not lend

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

May The 4th Be With You

A barmaid with bosom to spare
Decided they needed more air
A crone on a stool
Saw all the men drool
Since their chests were covered in hair!

Poem Details | by DrJim Martin |
Categories: funny, life, retirement, may,

Retirement Plan

 Retirement Plan

Dr. James E. Martin
©February, 2013

Now that I’ve reached a ripe old age,
I sit on the porch and sip sweet tea.
Some may question the wisdom in this,
My response is simply, “It works for me!”

Jealousy is undoubtedly fostered in some,
For that matter anger may surely arise.
I simply continue in my well designed plan
And know that many my life they despise.




Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny,

I Think, Therefore I Am and May Also -

try posting a blog
and commenting on that blog
many times over
thus my blog shall then become
a very HOT blog indeed...

* I have done this in the past...Not for myself but for other people. Okay! I admit it! I’ve done it for myself too! (PD knows)

Poem Details | by Marycile Beer |
Categories: confusion, fantasy, funny, may, me,

Are You All Right?

I opened my page and said
"What the heck!"
One more of my  poems
Won't make me sick.
I can't speak for you 
So if it does.
Just wait a few minutes 
And a Medical commercial may come on
Just take one and click me off
 And your day may be better off.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: food, humorous,

Caution - This Poem May Contain Some Humour

When my husband was in hospital, he was given an afternoon tea
Scones and cake and sandwiches, simply delicious as you can see
The final treat was to eat the scone served with jam and butter
On opening the butter packet these words made hum splutter

He saw  ‘Caution Contains Milk’ was written on the label
Found this so amusing he kept the label on the table  
I know people have allergies but this is taking it too far
Soon they’ll be telling me I need petrol to drive my car

Some people think the Brits are dull, I intend to dispel this rumour
Think I may post on my poems ‘ this may contain some humour’

Jan Allison
28th May 2014

Poem Details | by Wendy M |
Categories: death of a friend, funeral, funny, humor, humorous,

Bye May

Here Lays May
Who was on her way
To a little old bar,
She was hit by a car.

Poem Details | by Renee Kelly |
Categories: funny, religion

Rapture of May 21st, 2011

"It is the end of the world", they cry
"Those not saved will surely die!"
   Never mind the fun fact
   Previous dates inexact
Get the marshmallows out for the fry!

Poem Details | by Richard Lamoureux |
Categories: humorous, may,

Standup for Jack

Good old Jack wants more poems that are funny
With some humor I might make some money

I could do standup make them all chuckle
Wear a cowboy hat and a big buckle

My jokes might be lame, my spirits may sink
I'll get more funny, once they start to drink

I'd talk bout the country, home on the range
maybe bout my horse, perhaps that is strange

Some cowboy Karaoke might do the trick
If only I could sing they may not get sick

I will give it a try for my good friend Jack
It won't last very long so I will be back

Dedicated to Jack Ellison.

Poem Details | by Martin Kloess |
Categories: friend, funny, humor, sexy,

She May Be - Well Read

Hey dude be polite close your jaw
I know women’s breasts bring us awe
Some cravings are strong
But this is plain wrong
For those two belong to my ma

Poem Details | by Cynthia Jones |
Categories: bird, humorous, inspirational, may, nature, poetry, spring,

Starlings -Senryu-

Starlings wait outside for the blackbirds to come 'round so they can kick butt. Copyright © Cynthia Jones May.27/2012

Poem Details | by Khalid M Raza |
Categories: funny, life, song-may,

Things do happen

Funny things or crazy things of the world
Small or big, things do happen in the world
when our heart wants to go some where
but the way becomes tough to go any where
what we give nobody takes
what we ask nobody gives
colorful weather do exist
color of the wind never exist
when we are in a hurry
we often have to worry
scratching the head to think something
working hard to achieve something
All these may be our activities
We may get reward for our abilities
When utilized in a proper way
Then success will be not away
we should always keep in mind
we should never look behind
things of whatever kind
may happen one day
wait for the day


Poem Details | by Courtney Courtney |
Categories: adventure, childhood, family, children, funny, holiday, song-may,

GINGERBREAD MAN

G- gingerbread man run as fast as you can
I-  if I ever see you again I'll cook you in my pan
N- next I will nibble all about 
G- getting you will be easy, with out a doubt
E- ever consider someone might eat your eyes out
R- red jelly eyes I wonder what flavor they are
B- buttons on your belly might be tart
R- run away from me now that eating may be an art
E- ever think about how it delicious candy clothing may be
A- average American snacking, just like me
D- down the hatch is what you'll be

M- morning, noon or supper for eating you up I'll be the man
A- after I eat you I'll wipe out the pan
N- now I am going to eat you, come here Gingerbread Man   


Poem Details | by Jodie Williams |
Categories: funny,

You may think I'm crazy - the booty poem-

You may think I'm crazy, or that it won't suit me
If I had one wish, id wish for a booty
No not a car trunk or sock for a baby
For I want an azz like a big curvy lady
The backside iv got, I'm getting annoyed
When seen from the rear I look like a boy
I can't keep my jeans up, they fall off my bum
No matter how tightly my belt has been done
No elbows on tables, for safety, not manners
Embracing me is like cuddling spanners
Covered in bruises and yes, you can laugh
I get a numb bum when I sit in the bath
I just want some padding to cushion the blow
And being so skinny, ain't all that, you know. 

Poem Details | by Lu Loo |
Categories: humorous,

Please, May There BEANO More Gas

There was an old man from Bluegrass,
          who always ate green sassafras.
                        His tummy got icky,
                        somersaults and sicky,
                 took pills, now there’ll BEANO more gas!




A Limerick, Old or New: Your personal favorite Poetry Contest
8-8-6-6-8 syllable count
howmanysyllables.com


Written: April 10, 2018

Poem Details | by Keith Miller |
Categories: funny, parody, people, may,

Flower Girl

I saw you from across the bar,
Your eye shadow immaculate,
Your skin a pleasing, pale hue,
Your brown hair laced around a band of plastic flowers,
Your supple red lips engaged in fluid conversation.

I saw you, decided I loved you,
My bawdy, lusty companions thought so as well,
We cast dibs and lots for you and dared each other to speak to you,
And acquire your phone number,
As if you could be owned by possession of such things.

I turned away from our idle chatter and barter,
And glanced to where you spoke with the girl presumed to be your sister.
I may not love you tomorrow, 
The feeling may have faded by then,
But I relish the aesthetic of the moment,
Lovely Flower-Girl.

Poem Details | by J.W. Earnings |
Categories: change, childhood, courage, dream, funny, growth,

Maybe in May

Maybe I'll get an iPhone for my birthday 
Ah...on the other hand, I'd like to get an iced coffee
Yeah - I'll just accept my water 
Be honest, David - I'm a brat and a smarty pants 
Enjoy your break time and kick back...chill for a time ...

I'm a little nervous - I feel that my writing's are
Not that impressive - maybe in May, 

May I ask him for a free lemonade? 
And yes - I get a free lemonade 
Yes!! Maybe in May, I might get a part-time job or I might be a famous poet - someday...someday...

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

More Pills May Have To Pop

More Pills Have To Pop

Wish it was short hop
For us to go out and shop;
Not pills have to pop.

Our need seems so sore
Here close by having a store
Thought we do adore.

Was utter chaos
Did discover Trump was the boss
Is an albatross.

Maybe I should email this to the
new governor which will give my 
great suggestion and idea to him.

To our commerce Trump is causing chaos
Thinks on south side grows all the moss
In all our faces we had been hit square
Trickle down will never our fair share.

Poem Details | by randy johnson |
Categories: death, dedication, people, funny, may, people,

George Lindsey

You starred on Hee Haw and the Andy Griffith Show.
You were talented and people hated to see you go.
You continued to star as Goober on Mayberry R.F.D.
Sadly you passed away at the age of eighty-three.
People loved to see you act, that much is clear.
You were a very funny man while you were here.
You were Floyd the barber's friend and you wore a funny hat.
You entertained millions for thirty years and people loved that.
I'll see you in Heaven but it may be a while.
You did a damn good job as Goober Pyle.

(Dedicated to George Lindsey who died on May 6, 2012.)

Poem Details | by bahram sediqi |
Categories: hair, heart, hilarious, wind,

What a smell it may bring

If the wind blow in your hair    what a smell it may bring
The smell that it may give me wings
What you stole from me is my heart
what you had stolen is fallen apart
Fallen apart because you fart a lot
Put it in low temperature and do not expose to light

Poem Details | by Barbara Washington |
Categories: love, passion, religionwoman, may,

I Got IT! A Poem of Religious Humor

I may not be the finest of the finest, 
but I still got IT
I may not have the bling or swaggard, 
but I still got IT

IT been around for a while
ever since Adam said to Eve in the first poem
ever to be spoken

	"You are bone of my bone 
	flesh of my flesh
	you are my! woman
	because from me you were taken"
	Genesis 2:23

Then God say to Adam 
	"Leave me! your father and mother
	Keep your woman and become one flesh"
	Genesis 2:24

I am a woman taken from a man
and still got IT

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: funny, life, may,

I AM ON A TREADMILL

I’M ON A TREADMILL 
HOLDING ON TIGHT 

RIGHT FOOT IN FRONT OF LEFT
LEFT FOOT IN FRONT OF RIGHT 
BUT I DON’T SEEM TO BE GOING ANYWHERE 

I MUST KEEP MOVING 
HOWEVER
OR I WILL TRIP 
AND FALL

THE SPEED MAY VARY
THE SURROUNDINGS MAY CHANGE

RIGHT FOOT IN FRONT OF LEFT
LEFT FOOT IN FRONT OF RIGHT 
BUT I DON’T SEEM TO BE GOING ANYWHERE 

I MUST KEEP MOVING 
HOWEVER
OR I WILL TRIP 
AND FALL

I PUSH THE STOP BUTTON
AND RETURN THE NEXT DAY 

RIGHT FOOT IN FRONT OF LEFT
LEFT FOOT IN FRONT OF RIGHT 
BUT I DON’T SEEM TO BE GOING ANYWHERE 

I MUST KEEP MOVING 
HOWEVER
UNTIL I  FALL

Poem Details | by Kay Roberts |
Categories: fun, giggle,

I May be a Princess

I may be a Princess,
But, I swear like a Marine,
I drink like a Sailor,
And my jokes are never clean.
I may be a Princess,
But, I never dress the part,
I wear hob nailed boots,
And I don't care where I fart.
I may be a Princess,
But, I don't act like one at all,
I like to get down and dirty,
And I don't want to go to the ball.
I may be a Princess,
But, I'm extremely loud,
I like to party,
And stand out in a crowd.
I may be a Princess,
But, I am all of the above,
I don't care what people think,
I am the one I love.