Humorous and funny Money poems and/or funny poems about Money. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Money funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Money Poems.
funeral, humorous, money, satire,
They crawl out of the woodwork
Shedding lots of crocodile tears
Grieving for an ancient relative
They’ve not visited for many years
‘Auntie Annie’ is barely warm
But now you see the relations swarm
Waiting for the will to be read
They rub their hands with glee
Hoping they will be left
Lots of lovely money
‘Grieving relatives’ is rubbish!! Some are taking the mick ….
These mercenary vultures simply make me sick!
28th January 2017
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
funny, me, world, me, money,
I gotta crooked legged woman
With legs that go where they choose
Her lips are shaped like a beer mug
And over flowin with booze
She means the world to me
And a freak that makes me money
Her face is like a chocolate chip cookie
Covered in spots dots and all of that
I don't need a road map to find my way around
Just look at her face and I know where I'm at
She means the world to me
And a freak that makes me money
She gotta hunch back
From her boobs that sag
They look like two egg yolks
On two kwik mart bags
But She means the world to me
And a freak that makes me money
**Singing the Blues**
anxiety, death, humor, money,
Now that I'm dead I can finally relax,
worry free of April 15th and filing my income tax.
Freddie Robinson Jr.
fun, humorous, money, parody,
Coupon please budget-y listen
and bankruptcy understand
That ATM Terminator is out there —
It can’t be mall bargained with,
nor consumer reasoned with
An Automated Teller Machine
doesn’t feel purse pity,
or cancelled check remorse
Or insolvency fear
And it absolutely
will not cash register stop,
Until you are empty pocket dead
addiction, fun, games, humor, money,
Written by Gail DeBole on July 24, 2013
Updated on June 5, 2018
Pennies for the slots
Add up quicker than you thought.
What makes you feel "cool"
Could make you a monetary fool.
Won ten dollars!
Now I want to holler!
Everything is right!
Won a lot tonight!
The lights! The sounds!
The glamour all around.
Up one minute.
I am in to win it.
Down the next.
Slots become threats.
Lady next to me
Is laughing guiltily.
Her credit card is maxed
And her self-control too lax.
Know when to find the door
If you want to leave with more.
Or don’t overbet
so you don't Whee! into debt.
The wind in my hair does rearrange
Took thirty minutes to train
August 19, 2010
funny, money, prayer, satire,
I am led by desire
I desire this
I desire that
I desire everything
that all my friends’
have and desire
someone else has and desires it
I know I have no use
for most of it
but I must have it
I desire life
but not death
for the fear of it
I desire life because
most my friends have it and want it
and fear death because
most of my friends fear it
when I am dead
maybe I will desire nothing
because all my dead friends
will most likely desire nothing
we will most likely have no use
for any of it
what will become of it?
anger, holiday, humor, money, travel,
I know of a pretty New Jersey lass
Who decided to vacation First Class
But on the very first night
Oh no! Cancelled flight
What a total pain in the ***
I'm sure her tomorrows will be better
Or she'll surely be posting a letter
If her plane don't take off soon
It could be worse than High Noon
She'll be angry, we'll just have to fetter
When things couldn't have gotten any worse
Once again she has to dip into her purse
For the flight is okay
But triple charges she'll pay
A vacation just shouldn't be a curse
anniversary, fun, giving, green, humor, money,
My parents’ repeated refrain -
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
In my dreams, a lush tree grew
with leaves of high numbers,
nothing under a twenty.
On our 25th Anniversary,
our church threw
a surprise party.
After the pot-luck dinner,
a gaily wrapped gift box
sported a top slit, waving
a bit of green. As we pulled,
a chain of bills roped up
through the slot, coiling
ribbons of green.
I had seen “Money Trees”
as special occasion gifts,
but for the one and only
time, we experienced the gift
of “Money in a Box.”
humor, money, poverty,
Here lies my wallet.
On my desk he sleeps.
His malnourished stomach’s
been empty for weeks.
No family survived him.
There is only me,
With no way to pay off
his burial fee.
funny, money, stress,
I only just begun to charge
Impulsive buys are way too large
My credit card sighs
While bankbook cries
My pay cheque I need to enlarge
*So many things to buy since I bought a house, but I really am a wise shopper : )
betrayal, food, humorous, irony, money,
Oh, clam chowder, how I would love
You to be like the thing you claim you taste of.
You're seafood, soup, potatoes, all warm
And bubbling in a splendrous, thick liquid form.
Your amount of potatoes, though is extensive,
Because I guess that clam is just too expensive
To be present in amounts that meet my desires.
But I suppose you'd be too costly for buyers.
But aside from that, clam chowder, you're alright.
I'll probably still have some tonight.
funny, girlfriend, humor, humorous, lust, money, relationship,
half his age
and nearly twice his
pretty as a picture
but none too bright
he loves her open
arms (and legs) –
spread-eagled on his
she likes him for
his open mind and
but most of all –
his open wallet
she intends to stick
with him through
thick and thicker
and is most
his dodgy ticker
you can see my
original poem on my
blog here -
I slipped on a fry and hurt my back
Sue Burger King! said my lawyer Jack
I asked for big bucks
But Jack kinda sucks
Now I carry my stuff in a sack
funny, hilarious, humor, humorous, money,
My payday's a monthly event
But ... ‘fore it’s here - it's been spent
… Search ever’ where
… Wonderin’ where
All that money has … went?
humor, humorous, money,
"I ran behind a bus", said Ben,
“Saved a good five dollars again”.
“Oh fool!” dad exclaimed,
“My son, I’m ashamed”.
Chasing cabs, you could’ve saved ten!
childhood, funny, nostalgia, chocolate, , sweet love,
Nose pressed flat upto the glass,
Pockets tinkling full of brass;
Oblong jars,row on row
Candy -filled,to over flow.
Mintoes,chews and Pontefract cakes,
Limes and milk chocolate flakes;
Jelly beans and sweet love-hearts,
A few of each ,just to start.
Toffee whirls and butterscotch,
Long liquorice laces,all top-notch;
Aniseed balls,French bonbons,
Available now without coupons.
Sugared almonds and white mice,
Vanilla fudge,a penny a slice!
Just for starters a chocolate ice,
As it's going at half-price.
Barley sugar and a sherbert straw,
The shop bell tinkles as I close the door;
Is that th time! I'll have to skate,
Back into school,I can't be late.
Went to Wal-Mart to buy a Christmas ham
All I could find was a giant traffic jam
Near the toys__decorations
By my calculations
Come day after Christmas, dumpsters see cram
adventure, angel, angst, art, beautiful, black african american, business, butterfly, caregiving, christian, confusion, courage, dedication, devotion, dream, faith, family, fear, freedom, funny, grief, growing up, happiness, happy, history, hope, inspirational, life, lonely, love, philosophy, spiritual, visionary, world, love, money,
If its money I got its money ill keep.
If its money I have its money ill weep.
If its love that I give its love ill receive.
For I am but no one who just see's beneath.
Some say your only as strong as you feel, but how could we change..in a place that's so unreal. People are hearing but..not really hearing. Why is the world so blind. I keep on screaming and screaming and screaming for things to be revolutionized. I am just a small song in a world full of cries, laughter, tears and french-fries.
Jerry T Curtis
adventure, allusion, anxiety, humor, money, nonsense, visionary,
Going To Market
I'm joining up with Trade King
Cause I'm sick of being poor
I'm sure I'll make a fortune with some luck
Then I won't have to worry
When that doe comes rolling in
And have more, than these two lousy bucks
Of course I'll need some cash
If I'm going to invest
So, it might take some time, to get rich
So, for now I'll take my two bucks
And bet it on a nag
Or down at the dog track, on a *****
dance, funny, girlfriend, humor, money, work,
This Pole Dancer she was with me
All other men must pay her fee
Still I must confess
My family’s stress
But Polish dance lessons aren’t free
business, humor, irony, life, money,
Everything has a fee,
Nothing on Earth's for free,
There is no relation,
Unless it's just me versus me.
Something always involves cost,
From breathing to auto exhaust,
Imagine, people mating,
Without use of call waiting,
Millions of yen would be lost.
Even intangibles hold value,
A smile from the wind, a song on the bayou,
If you yell at your spouse,
Well, there goes the house,
The true meaning of "I do, I do".
Life is a pay-per-view event,
Due to our voyeuristic intent,
We can't cross the street,
To keep matters discrete,
All we have is fiscal repent.
Can’t buy happiness
Can’t cash in on love either
Buy an umbrella
my mental health
won’t bring me wealth
except on game shows
where I’m counting toes
Dire Straits sang Money for Nothing
if that’s true I would even sing