Humorous and funny Grandmother poems and/or funny poems about Grandmother. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Grandmother funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Grandmother Poems.
12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,
When I grow up, will I still be princess?
Of course, says glowing daddy.
A roll of the queen’s eyes.
daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, mother, nature, nostalgia, peace, people, seasons
God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…
who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, lost love, love, mother, parody, romance, satire, sorry,
Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent
Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.
But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.
family, funny, mother
There once was a woman named Linda
Who would keep a clean hacienda
Till four children she bore
And then bore she one more...
She now has a different agenda!
Timothy I. Brumley
humor, mother, son,
You still sit on England’s grand throne!
For sixty plus years crown you own!
Your subjects all wait—
Will you abdicate?
Will Charles make it to the King zone?
© Sandra M. Haight 2015
All Rights Reserved
Contest: Long Live the Queen
Sponsor: Judy Konos
I endured burnt offerings at the table -
A meal ‘cooked’ by my mother in law
If I hadn’t been married her lovely son
I’d have walked straight out of the door!
I heaved at every charred mouthful
Smiled, and said the meal was ‘divine’
She told me she’d had cookery lessons
But her food was only fit to feed swine!
Is my poem just a fairy story
Or is it a clever allegory?
What Doesn’t Kill Us Contest
Sponsored by Laura Loo
childhood, funny, mother, son, mother,
Mother may I
Go out and play
Have you cleaned your room today
Are your toys packed away
in your toy chest with care
Yes mother yes
its all in there
Did you make your bed
like i showed you how
yes mother yes
may I go now
Yes son yes
after a brief inspection
son shakes his head
not what I was expecting
I'm going to my room
oh by the way
can you hand me the broom?
father, humor, mother,
Try to recall
What was he like?
Seems so long ago
Years and fathers alike.
Was he the second,
Or maybe the third?
So many behind me
My memory is blurred.
My mom's average is low,
Two years at the most;
Believe me twelve fathers
Is nothing to boast.
He looked so familiar,
How could I forget?
Was he my real dad?
I fill with regret,
For now he lies buried
Six feet below.
Was he my real dad?
I may never know.
dad, family, funny, grandfather, grandmother, mother, mom, dad, dad, mom,
My heritage is a mixture
Of backgrounds. Let's start on
My Dad's side of the family.
My Dad's mom is Irish and English.
My Dad's dad is Irish and German.
My Mom's mom is Scottish and Irish.
My Mom's dad is blood Hungarian.
So in other words,
I'm a mutt! or as others say,
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife
***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***
"Storm over yet...?"
"Well hay'ell ye'ah!
sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
whadda'bou that boy th'er?
sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"
"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"
na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm!
torna'durr warnin' too!
he gonna have him'a cole burr;
mama, git him'a cole burr!
ta'days father's day!"
© 2011 ~JSLambert Esquire
childhood, family, fear, children, funny, life, mother,
With soap in hand placed in my mouth
Head hangs over toliet tongue heads south
Dirty words no more
With only one look it ruptured my spleen
The ugliest creature I've ever seen
You'd know if you ever saw
It's called my mother-in-law
And smells like the gas produced from a bean
angst, childhood, confusion, dedication, devotion, faith, family, fear, funeral, funny, hope, imagination, life, mother, nature, on writing and words, parody, people,
I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…
crazy, daughter, funny, mother, mother daughter,
Momma always told me,
"Children should be seen but not heard."
'Til I streaked through her Garden Party
And muttered not a word.
Momma always told me,
"The best birth control is an aspirin held tight between your knees."
But my boyfriends ALL had headaches!
Glad I put their heads at ease!
Momma always told me,
"They won't buy the cow if they get the milk for free,"
So I never served my best beaus milk,
Just liquor, wine and me!
Poor momma had another saying,
"You'll be the death of me!"
Momma, you were always right!
There was arsenic in that tea.
fantasy, children, funny, happiness, holiday, imagination, mother, nostalgia, people, seasons, upliftinghalloween,
Last Minute Halloween Costume
Toilet paper wraps;
Costs less to dress as mummy,
Mom thinks it’s funny!
allegory, family, father, funny, husband, mother, wife
I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,
“He’s here at the bar
Quick bring us your car,
Your husband just got in a brawl”
Mother Teresa of Calcutta,
Was a bit of a nutter,
She upset the slums,
When playing the drums.
Generous to a fault,
stubborn as a mule;
a bit older than dirt
but as a general rule-
we treasure your smile,
love your sense of humor;
we applaud your *****
and we've spread the rumor-
that in your younger days
you ate fatback and greens
and could wield a switch
that made us shoot our beans.
In spite of all the memories
and recurring nightmare scenes,
we're proud to call you Mom
and glad we've got your genes.
funny, imagination, mother, nature, philosophy, seasons, visionary,
there is no fury
like a woman's fury -
so don't mess with mom
It's Not Nice
Mother Nature LOL
break up, change, cheer up, divorce, family, funny, goodbye,
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS POISONING ME!
I think my mother-in-law is poisoning me.
The electric range is smelling strange,
She tests the smoke detector by cooking everyday....
Now the entire kitchen is acting deranged.
Semolina at 3:30,
Mercury hits 120 degrees!
Nausea and stomach cramps are rising in me,
Red-sauced tripe is afflicting me.
Outside it's now Celsius 43 degrees.
Now Bulimia is what I see,
I have to stay for tea,
Yes, my mother-in-law is poisoning me,
There's much to said for ...
family, friendship, funny, happiness, hope, life, love, mother, nature, passion, seasons,
Mothers are the best
They are like a test
They are very loving
They like a flower budding
The treat us like a fest.
Said mother-in-law: -" When my time to come,
My ashes scatter in this court in a burial rite."
Thinking, the son-in-law answered in fright: -
"But, if a wind drive you in house again, dear mum?"
daughter, family, children, funny, mother, work
I’ve got a great invention
I use it all the time
It does the things that I should do
It always works just fine
It cleans my room it tidies up
And puts my stuff away
Does chores I don’t have time to do
So I can go and play
I never have to worry
If I run a little late
I find my meals are cooked for me
And ready on a plate
It doesn’t need much maintenance
To make it sweetly hum
Just a little oiling,
With the words “I love you mum”
© John W Fenn 14-02-2009
humorous, husband, i love you, mother son, wisdom, boxing day,
The time has come for me to say goodbye forever
I am not brilliant at expressing my emotions
But in the words of ‘Sealion Dion’ ….
‘I will always love you’
If you check in the filing cabinet
You will find my portfolio of shares
I have kept the Woolworth's certificate it may be valuable
They may resurface one day ….
That’s the wonder of Woolies!
If you ever need a new sofa…. don’t forget these immortal words
The DFS Half Price Sale starts at 10am on Boxing Day!
Contest:- My Parting Gifts
Sponsor:- Viv Wigley
funny, introspection, life, love, mother, on work and working
When tired from sweeping with the storebought broom
I'd lean against not wanting to resume
Momma said, "Nusing your bab?"
I would sweep, under breath crab
Now would love to hear her say, "Clean your room!"
(Momma would say nusing not nursing..Bab is instead of baby..)