Humorous and funny Muse poems and/or funny poems about Muse. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Muse funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Muse Poems.
humor, poetry, writing,
I set my morning muse alarm for 2am.
But instead, it went off at three.
"Wake up!" he said, "It's me."
I reached for pen and paper. "Stop
fumbling, and turn on the light," he said.
"Or, you'll never be able to read
what I'm putting in your head."
"Why are you being so bossy?" I asked.
"Sorry," he said. "But I'm in a hurry
to get to the next poet's bed."
funny, on writing and wordsme, me, muse,
For Miranda Lambert’s “Inspired” contest
By Carolyn Devonshire
I wanted to write for this contest;
But my muse was staging a protest.
“Take me to the sea,” it pled,
“In this house, I languish, dead;
Put me in touch with nature, a forest.”
“Don’t stare at a screen, confined by walls;
Locked inside, my inspiration falls.
Surely there’s a babbling brook
Or a valley’s overlook.
Give me something to work with,” muse calls.
“If you fail to respond, I’ll attack
As you’re sleeping in a room black.
Thoughts you will never recall
Cannot upon your page fall;
Without me you’re nothing but a hack!”
happy, humorous, muse, poetry,
Casarah wants us to write happy
That’s not an easy job
My fickle muse has left me
She’s turned into quite a snob
She won’t let me write a poem that’s funny
Not even a short limerick
Now my world is dark not sunny
I’m feeling a little bit sick
So I’ve locked her in a cupboard
She’s wailing and creating a fuss
Her plans to gag me are scuppered
I’ve just GOT to write humourous
My capricious muse is locked away
I can hear her starting to cry
I’ll let her out one day
That doesn’t end with a Y!
Contest One hundred and one words - CHECKED WITH WORD COUNTER
Sponsor Casarah Nance
31st August 2015
how i feel, humorous, muse, poetry,
I picked up my pen and tried hard to write,
words simply failed me and I drew a blank.
The harder I tried the worse it became
Where are the syllables when I need them?
Not a limerick or rhyme will appear …
my muse has gone on her spring holiday -
when she will return I have no idea!
I’m sad, how can I enter a contest
that I have little chance of placing in...
Oh well, I guess its another N/A
to add to my expanding collection.
N/A in contest finalised on 6/2/16
cheer up, death, hilarious, humor, humorous, journey, muse,
Is it that time?
my time to go.
do you have a warrant?
wait a while,
till the rain dials down.
Not want to ruin the suit,
need to look my best.
When I meet the under lord,
need to appear my best.
Not want to spend
my afterlife drenched.
can I dry myself
at the furnace of the hell.
I go to heaven,
can I pack
a change of clothes?
long robe and a halo,
may be a scarf too.
let me pack some sausages,
for the long journey ahead.
you seem clueless,
let me talk to your superior,
what is the country code?
Is it alpha and omega?
no! they put me on hold
to a hold tone,
"Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings."
humorous, lost, muse, poetry,
Has anyone seen my muse -
I think she’s gone on a world cruise
One where there’s plenty of booze
Then she can have a long snooze!
Why has she run away to sea
I’m searching for her constantly
I’m feeling really unhappy
Please can someone help me?
If you find her, please send her back
Then I’ll be fine and on the right track
I’ll take her out in my Cadillac
And confiscate her spotty knapsack!
Then my muse won’t be free to roam
She will have to stay with me here at home
So I won’t be left all alone to moan
And I’ll write poems in a massive tome
6th February 2017
halloween, humor, muse,
Charlie Brown got rocks
In his Halloween treat sack...
Snoopy made them friends
humorous, missing you, muse,
Once active, my muse has gone on strike
I said come back, she said go take a hike!
I tried dipping my pen in dark ink
hand on brow; I’ve attempted to think
I began writing a very sad sonnet -
ended up with a second rate nonet!
Next I thought I would write a fun verse
t’was not funny it sounded quite terse
Guess my muse has just drifted away
I think she’s gone on a long holiday!
Now abroad she is on a sojourn
and I wonder when she will return
Till then I’m a part time poet
I’m bereft and I really know it!
Part time poet Contest
Sponsored by Michelle Faulkner
feelings, humor, muse, poetess, writing,
With trepidation she picked up her pen.
Should I try this now.......or when?
Her Muse whispered in her ear!
"It's now or never, poetess, dear!"
Ah, that word "poetess" made her
And thus, my friends, she and her
pen are most happily wedded!
August 7, 2020
My roaming mind
I married to a Muse;
O, I’ve lost my life,
For, he gallops now.
graduation, growing up, heart, history, humor, marriage, mentor, mirror, muse, myth, spiritual, spoken word, thank you,
A bulging extremity,
a feminist integrity,
a swaggering centipede,
the cops arresting me,
my dick the right size,
the bang coming out of your eye's,
the sensitivity upon demise,
the dew and dripping from the sky's,
the eagerness of eloping,
the magnitude of doping,
the honesty of groping,
scattering scorpions glowing and scoping.
change, fantasy, fun, funny, muse, silly,
If women ruled the world
I'd have a sex change and be a girl
If you can't beat em
Peter Dome. Copyright.2015.May.
Jerry T Curtis
allusion, funny, humor, muse, nonsense, satire, silly,
Someone leaked this poem
I thought I hid it well
I didn't post on the net
and there's no one I would tell
Perhaps it's North Korea
heard they're hacking everyone
or that group they call the Lizards
just out to have some fun
Now all the time I spent
to write it, gone to waste
All millions have to do now
is simply cut and paste
I'm sure by now, around the world
everyone has downloaded
and my pop-u-lar-i-ty
on the web, exploded
But I still have some little gems
of which I'll never let them peek
unless of course, I find the source
of how my poems leak
fun, games, giggle, happy, imagery, imagination, muse,
There is something in my pocket…
Is it perhaps a rocket?
Oh no, that simply would not fit;
Yet, there’s something in my pocket…
Could it be a lovely locket?
Good guess, I confess that’s not it…
Could you plug it in a socket?
Oh now that sure would be shocking.
Okay I give, do tell, won’t you?
Well…There’s a poem in my pocket,
And I’ve written it just for you.
cat, children, fun, funny, imagery, muse, race, space,
Can't Catch Me
Poetry Contest : FIVE FABULOUS FUN FOOTLES
Sponsored by: JAN ALLISON
confusion, funny, hope, muse, satire, trust, truth,
I struggle to tell her this truth,
I consult with her pleasing smile.
Woe is a world where flaws exist,
As stains breed until flavors amend.
She hears me mince through fearful smarm,
Pandora hopes she leaves this peek alone.
A whim which daunts a doting kiss,
My muse weeps with this ugly breath.
If her heart breaks then mine will too,
She deserves a sweet little lie.
Contest Entry: A Special Secret
Sponsor: Lewis Raines
humorous, muse, poetry, poets,
I know you craved for a poem
but there is a bigger problem:
I am stuck with the word seven
rhyming with the word heaven.
Maybe, from the spring I drank
merely poured verses in blank,
but no, an orphic power compels
and the poem flees and rebels.
So this is the best gift I have,
perhaps gray like a cold grave.
You may even claim it is fine
but I will not write a new line,
until my muse arouse again
and poesy is set to entertain.
dog, funny, good morning, morning, muse, pollution,
Wisping kitchen sunlight
with dust and wood smoke.
Golden hairs from her body
from a shake as she woke.
Rising up and then falling
softly down as they float.
And brushing my oatmeal
with a fresh yellow coat.
angst, depression, dog, funny, good morning, humor, muse,
Oh what joy it seems to be
Drinking an early morning tea.
While watching the sun rise across the Bay
Changing night into day.
My Maltese, lies stretched across my knees
Knows he's not here to play but me to please,
But, my time to meditate just went sour
Oh God – What is the hour?
Not time to mediate
Just to contemplate.
Mistakes I've made and things I dread
How fast can I get back to bed?
One last thing so you don't get bit.
NOLI TANGERE CANEM MEAN. MORDIT !
Did I spell that right?
It means: "DON'T PAT MY DOG, HE BITES !"
My muse is on the loose in this blank page
At times I search for hours between these lines
An open notebook is an open cage
And when she leaves she's very hard to find
I try arousing her to no avail
With doodles in the margin killing time
I'll take a break, go out and check the mail
But she remains as silent as a mime
And yet I know that she will soon return
She's staring from this paper now at me
I guess you'd think by now that I should learn
When inspiration comes then there she'll be
She seems to come out when it's late at night
And always wakes me up and makes me write
original poem by Daniel Turner
Carl (Pontiak) Chong
fantasy, humor, image, imagination, lust, muse, word play,
I posed up and took
a good long look,
Darn it seemed so
warm that nook.
Eased forward slowly
lining up carefully,
Scared of doing
damage, I entered
Slipped in slowly as
things got a bit
Took my time, sizing
up the tightness,
Backed up a bit in
Proceeded on in now
as it seemed huge,
Squeezed in as the
wetness became a
Went in deep to the
Opened the door to
such sweet hotness.
One foot on the
floor as I leaned
over the back,
Jammed my fingers
thru the wired
Pressed all the
right buttons no
Damn garage door was
stuck open to my
allusion, for him, humor, humorous, muse,
~teddy and the muse~
It looked as a monkey
With a huge bushy tail
It entered the office
Scarring brother Teddy
It scampered allover
Teddy offered it a banana
It screeched baring its teeth
I call it a muse for lack
Of a suitable or better name
It was a creature of the forest
Dark and very swift on its legs
Who visited teddy yes a muse
I call it a muse for teddy keeps
Churning out brilliant pieces
how i feel, humor, i love you, longing, love, love hurts, muse,
Long the distance existing between us,
making things a little complicated,
leaving confusion and a slight mistrust.
And yet we both are still quite unsated.
Thoughts are not too clear when speaking to you,
making stupidity quite evident,
leaving me seem worthless: annoying too.
And yet you stay, listening to me vent.
You make fun, picking on me constantly.
Making me smile and laugh, you're such a goof.
But when you joke about leaving, you see,
I'm stuck with a fear of you gone, just poof.
I want to be with you, if only i could.
I love you, more than i probably should.
crazy, funny, giggle, imagination, irony, missing, muse, poetry,
There once was a lady so thin
she wanted to solve a crime
so she set at a Bar, Lounge, Inn,
only couldn't find her lime,
Try hard as she would - to remember
only made her all the more slender,
so much so - she slipped through her
straw an fell in...
Now while there - she tried to compare
her lime - now found - from her olive,
only to have swallowed her ice cube in there,
it floated her above an over her glass alive,
Now on her chair it all didn't matter
so she ordered another,
this time without a lime - an became fatter
wow, when asked to pay for this one an that other
Why she said; didn't you hear "Crime Doesn't pay"
as she melted away - Olay! >:D
funny, city, muse,
Deep within the city of muse
A rebellion is taking place
The pain and loss is evident
On every poet's face
A trial of sorts has just begun
To find the muse of guilt
The city itself has been torn down
The city the muse has built
The words themselves are walking around
Void of inspiration
Thinking it has to be a big mistake
There's gotta be an explanation
The muse has banned together
Demanding to know the truth
A muse is charged with plagiarism
But the courts can't find the proof
Well I just made this story up
In case your still in shock
I just needed a way to explain
Away my writer's block