Funny Poems About My Child or My Child Funny Poems

Humorous and funny My Child poems and/or funny poems about My Child. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious My Child funny poems!

Written by The Grahamburglar
Categories: childhood, children, funny, kid, moon, my child

Pink Sky At Night

I really want the moon, who smiles oh so bright,
to be a little different, if only for tonight.
Last night it was a circle, same as the night before,
its always been a circle, and that is such a bore.
So little star up in the sky, I wish I may and might,
make the moon a triangle, and make it pink, not white.

2/21/16

*Last night my 2 year old daughter saw the moon and said, "I really want the moon to be a triangle, but it keeps being a circle!"

Written by Anna Hopper
Categories: daughter, fantasy, giggle, imagination, my child, simple

Molly

A twinkle of light in the midnight sky
Giggles, cuddles and a sweet lullaby
She sweeps through the house with her barefoot toes
Leaving a trail of glitter everywhere she goes


Written by Mark Paul Van Der Merwe
Categories: child, confusion, father, fun, funny, silly

Not My Child

Once upon a shopping day you see,
A lady was staring at me,
She asked if I remember her,
Uncomfortably I said no,
To this she said, you must know,
As I have your child,
I jumped and explained my past that was wild,
I met a woman like you at the pub,
From there we went to a club,
We were both extremely drunk,
Probably as bad as a skunk,
I had my way with you on the table,
I had my way with you in the stable,
As a matter of fact so did my friend,
This I’m sure the enjoyment you did extend,
Well this could be why,
This child could be from any guy,
No you explained, you fool,
I am a teacher at your child’s school.

Written by Felicia Jarvis
Categories: animal, forgiveness, love, mother, mum, my child

Muddy Funny Bunny

Hurry, hurry, hurry
Funny bunny plays
Windy sunny field

Muddy small silly
Feels guilt
Feels sorry

Mummy still loves 
Muddy funny bunny


18th December 2017

Fem Bogstaver (Danish) - Poetry Contest for Money
Sponsored by Rhoda Tripp

Written by Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories: boy, children, funny, humorous, my child, nursery rhyme

Skinny Leroy

Skinny Leroy
was so thin
A soda straw
fit over him.


Written by Isaac Odah
Categories: child, hilarious, humor, my child,

Please Do It Again

"Ucle," Joe said: "did you feel no pain
Falling from that mango tree?
Would you do it, please, again,
'Cos my brother here didn't see."

Written by Vladimir Tumanov
Categories: food, humor, humorous, my child, son,

Eating Son

What my son loves the most is good food, be it toasted or roasted or stewed. Can he put it away! A filet and entrée will go in and then out of this dude.

Written by Vladimir Tumanov
Categories: child, family, humor, humorous, my child,

Your Dna

If your children — those losers — are moving back home even though they were told to explore and to roam, treat the deadbeats with tact and remember a fact — it was YOUR DNA inside YOUR chromosome.

Written by Caren Krutsinger
Categories: 1st grade, 2nd grade, funny, humor, humorous, my child

Don'T Get This Started

Delight, happiness, Oozes from her pores.

Shopping spree with girl, age 6.

Can't wait 'til age 7.

Written by Caren Krutsinger
Categories: humorous,

I Would Never Raise My Child Like That

She had all kinds of suggestions.
I was raising my children incorrectly.
She could not stop giving me ideas.
She had never had children of her own,
but I pretended to listen.
My children groaned when they saw her coming.
Made themselves scarce, which gave me a little break.
Ten years later when she had her own children she apologized
for all of those "I would never.'s" because she told me that she has now.

Written by Beata Agustin
Categories: appreciation, boy, child, christian, god, humor

FLIGHT WITH MY CHILD

Vroom-vroom with my special child Zooming high in his plane-car Hep-hurray! He’s the pilot… Bless our flight*, Lord. Vroom!
*Deuteronomy 32:30 How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight, except their Rock had sold them, and the LORD had shut them up? April 5, 2024 1st place, "Vo dee oh doe" Dodoitsu Poetry Writing Contest Sponsored by Kim Rodrigues; judged on 5/28/2024