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Funny Poems About Narrative or Narrative Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Narrative poems and/or funny poems about Narrative. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Narrative funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Narrative Poems.

Poem Details | by Jennifer Young |
Categories: body, caregiving, crazy, funny, health, husband, rude,

The Tale of the Dirty Dick

Girls, if you ever find a man of great persistence
Listen to your ******, and say NO! with adequate resistance
You see chicks, when a dude gets a hard dick
If it's dirty, it can make you super sick
Painful pisses and cloudy urine will follow suit
All because Dirty Dick Man wanted to discharge his root
So, ladies, beware...there are diseases out there
No Dick gets serviced until it's clean and faire
Run, scream, shout, "Spank your ****ing monkey!"
Please, I beg of you, do as I now  propose
Keep your ****** sparkling clean-never let it decompose.



Poem Details | by Tomas Vazquez |
Categories: adventure, easter, fear, funny, nonsense, religion,

Twas the Night Before Easter

He knows if you are sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if you've been bad or good.
Zombie Jesus must be staked!

So eat your crackers and wine,
And think that you'll be saved,
But that's not why he's here because
Your brains are what he craves!

He'll never stop his rampage.
Not until he's fully fed,
But nothing satisfies his hunger
Like what rattles in your head.

He's coming down the chimney.
He's underneath your bed.
You think you can outrun him,
But soon you will be dead.

So you better not whisper,
You better not cry
Cuz even a shot between his eyes
Won't stop Zombie Jesus, tonight..

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

I Cannot Tell A Lie



Men's minds are devious at the best of times Also twisting their stories I should know, I'm one of dem der guys Pretty sure I'm no different than 98% of my fellow males It's inbred into our psyche and of this I'm sure We're really damn proud of it However I'm a straight shooter At the expense of my fellow males, I apologize Hate blowing the whistle on youse guys But I can't help it... as Georgie once said "I cannot tell a lie" Everything and I mean EVERYTHING That comes out of my mouth Is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth So help... Z-Z-Z-A-A-A-A-A-P-! © Jack Ellison 2014

Poem Details | by Teddy Kimathi |
Categories: funny, funny love, green, humor, humorous, imagery, relationship,

Theory of Greenness

"What do we have for breakfast?"
"Lettuce and cabbage juice!" she
replies excitedly.
She had forced him to change
his blue pajamas to green
pajamas, then he returns
to bed -
the bed had to have green sheets,
green bed cover, and a green
pillow.
"Why do you do this to me?!" he asks.
"I was born in St. Patrick's Day!!!"
she replies.
He can't wait for a green light
to escape a world where
everything he hates is green.
He's afraid he's lost her love in the greenness....

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humor,

A Blazing Fast Mind



Have ten minutes to kill Just enough time to write a poem “I'm in love with love Hey, hey, don't shove" There you go... with 9 minutes and 45 seconds to spare! Silly? © Jack Ellison 2014

Poem Details | by Teddy Kimathi |
Categories: dream, fantasy, fun, humor, imagery, imagination,

A Lovely Little Daydream

A summer smile stuck on my face,
as I watched a soda truck racing
across the yellow maize farm.
"What is a soda truck doing 
in the countryside, far away from
shops and clubs?" my workmate asked.
He looked as though he had witnessed
the Roswell event personally.
"Something isn't right," he added.
I smiled and gazed at the truck,
as it became bigger and bigger.
Monotonous tastelessness of rain water,
would soon be replaced by a fizzy, sweet
sensation to my tastebuds.
This would be the dozenth time I tasted
soda without actually drinking it.

Poem Details | by Annalise Brigham...a.k.a. Audrey Haick |
Categories: funny

Ridiculously Sensible

I was not impressed by his super mediocre talent

     The kind one should keep under wraps exposed

          To a world of less well known and near do well designers 

               Who struggle easily with mundane exotic tasks which, when left

                    In the hands of expert amateurs would not seem so

                          Ridiculously sensible at a time such as now

                                                            ~*~

Note:  For Kristen Bruni's  "Oxymoronica" Contest


Poem Details | by john loving iii |
Categories: funny

Greetings

Welcome comrads 
ghost and ghouls
tis the bewitching hour 
the time of our rule
let us be shadows 
and eyes in the night
let us give the living 
a hell of a fright
be not kind 
to little boys and girls
step into their dreams 
make them all screem
be not friends 
to sissys and cowards
visit each one 
hour after hour
and when you see someone alone
keep them company 
but be not shown
a glimps of a shadow
a bump in the night
a chill in the wind
a mysterious light
make them believe that noise
is not a mouse
and give them the greif of living 
in a haunted house

Poem Details | by Christy Hardy |
Categories: friendship, funny, life,

Super Soupers

I love this place,
it puts a smile on my face.

Super Soupers, writing away,
making me smile, and wanting to stay.

New soupers, joining everyday,
a super place for poets to play.

Old friends, new friends,
all joining in.

We are so blessed,
this is as good as it can get.

Poem Details | by Gavin Lottering |
Categories: 8th grade, fun, humor,

ADD-Verse Conditions

Marbles, marbles! I've lost my marbles. 
I don't know where they are. 
I know I had them recently, 
So they can't have gotten far. 

Blast it all! My marbles. 
Where have I gone and left them? 
I used them just the other day. 
I was glad I'd had them then. 

I do this all the time, you know. 
Lose my marbles, is what I mean.
And every time I get them back, 
I find that more are missing. 

So now I have a handful left, 
Nowhere near what used to be. 
And there I see a screw that's loose, 
That's all I bloomin’ need. 


Poem Details | by Theresa a.k.a. Reecie |
Categories: fear, funny, social,

The Sad Truth About Life

Oh the horror! For people, it's just fun!
~Reecie

Poem Details | by Oma Bennett |
Categories: animals, food, funny, dog, dog,

The Dog and the Rabbit

The dog seen a rabbit and how he did chase
to catch that little critter and boy what a race

But one thing that rabbit knew as he ran away
he was not going to be lunch for that dog today

Around the tree and  into the bushes he went
the dog was right after that little rabbit's scent

the dog was so busy that he never did see
that big old  hornet nest  way up in the tree

running and barking and making a sound
made all the hornets start buzzing around

They all made a dive and together they flew
when they  hit the dog he knew he was through

He made up his mind right there and then
he would never go chasing that rabbit again

Poem Details | by Cona Adams |
Categories: angst, brother, children, clothes, family, funny, school,

School Days

(and long brown stockings) 

I detest these stockings,
they're coarse, brown and ugly.

I hate the garters more;
elastic circles that cut off 
circulation and fail to halt 
the laddering down my skinny legs.

If only . . . I picture myself
in warm jeans and no teasing
from Tommy Rogers.

I put the garters to better use,
roll the repulsive stockings
down around my ankles. 

Tommy taunts,
"Who gave you
jointed toothpicks for legs?"

I lost it.

Now, Tommy has a black eye
and my nose is in the corner.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

A Cow With A Green Eyebrow



Did you ever see a cow with a green eyebrow If you did, you'd best lay off the hooch Hooch in moderation is acceptable But if you see a pink elephant fly by your window You have definitely over indulged Another sign is when the things you say Don't exactly match what you're thinking Such as instead of saying, “You have nice boobs” You actually say “bice noobs” Has a nice ring to it as does “a great sackbide” Hey I don't make this stuff up you know! So getting back to that strange looking cow If you haven't been drinking... and you see one Run, don't walk, to the nearest shrink! © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by Patrick Cornwall |
Categories: funny, happiness, fire, fire,

Wood

The storm gathered and the wind howled

Clouds were dark and ominous hinting of rain

He loved the rain and the wind

The branches swayed to their rhythm

He gathered sticks for the fire and the cold

The lights flickered as thunder cracked

There was nothing like a warm fire

And the limbs doing the cha cha

The fire wood was stacked by the door

He was a deepened romantic and the fire

He loved her most under the covers

He loved to show her his wood

She loved when he put it in the fire

That was what he missed most




Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous, , cute,

If Kisses Were Units Of Currency



Had a crazy dream last night Dreamt I was living in a world Where kisses were units of currency First thing I thought of Was that cute li'l cashier at Walmart To pay for a $50 item Would require 50 kisses plus the federal tax Bringing the total to 60 smooches I would start shopping for all kinds of stuff That I didn't actually need I'd even buy ladies lingerie like bras and knickers And give them away to friends and neighbours! In all likelihood I'd go broke But man, would I be a happy camper Going to bed now to hopefully pick up Where I left off... © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by John Trusty |
Categories: funny, life,

BLOCKHEAD

BLOCKHEAD

Some folks’ say all my life I’ve been a BLOCKHEAD.
Maybe if I could have gotten through that last ROADBLOCK,
news of my incarceration wouldn’t be such a family BLOCKBUSTER.
So here I sit all alone in my CELL BLOCK.
I’m suffering a bad case of WRITERS BLOCK,
without a clue the path my mind should take to UNBLOCK.
By the time I get out of here, I’ll need 100 spf SUNBLOCK.


For the BLOCK-BLOCK-BLOCK contest.

Poem Details | by Cona Adams |
Categories: childhood, children, granddaughter, home, humor,

Eight-Year-Old Logic

(Learning prudence at a young age.)

Granddaughter is back 
for another weekend visit. 
She's a voracious talker.

"Mom and Kenny,"
she says. "argue about
who gets to do the dishes.
Mom says, I will do them.
Then Kenny says, No,
 It's my turn."

"That will soon be resolved,”
I say. “Your mom will decide 
Kenny gets the job." 

"I said that in my mind,”
she quips. 
“But not out loud.” 


Poem Details | by Maurice Yvonne |
Categories: humor,

Bathtub Jim - Humor


It seems like the only place I can get any peace from her is in the bathroom where I can lock the door sit in the tub and think. Maybe I'm not the most considerate of husbands but I don't care what she says I am not a Dick Head.

Maurice Yvonne

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

Wish I Was A Family Pet



I wish I was a family pet Whose only needs are to be fed And to unceremoniously Relieve themselves in the park I would of course be more discreet Now about licking myself In an effort to keep clean Hmmm might draw the line there Simply because I may injure myself Trying to reach hard to get at regions I guess I would prefer to be a dog Cats are certainly more sophisticated But full of their own importance When most dog species Are loveable and bowl you over with love Hmmm now that I think about it Apart from not having to wear a collar Perhaps I'd rather remain a human © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by charles messina |
Categories: humor, repetition,

I am Robot

I wake up to the dawn of each day 
As I lay there in the Twi-light zone 
I momentarily wonder, have I awoken 
Or am I still somewhere in my dream 
Like clock work 
I realize that I woke up to yet another sunrise 
I promptly head to the head, wash my hands and brush my teeth 
And then, I head straight for the coffee pot 
As I sit in the same chair as I do every morning 
I sip my coffee that I have diluted 
With the same amount of milk and sugar as I always do 
Then click, my lap top goes on  
I immediately go to PoetrySoup or Facebook 
And then, I see all the other robots on here.

Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: death, funny,

You a Dead Man

Okay Father, nice talkin to you…
WOW fellas, last meal too huh?
Well, thanks but no thanks
Been readin up on my Shakespeare
and that “To be or not to be” guy?
I kinda identify with that dude 
Cause I DO be right now
but in a couple of hours
I AIN’T gonna be, so--- 
it seems I’ve lost my appetite…
(I COULD use a drink though)


6/27/2015
For the contest sponsored by: John Lawless

Poem Details | by Cona Adams |
Categories: anniversary, fun, giving, green, humor, money,

Money Chain

My parents’ repeated refrain -
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
In my dreams, a lush tree grew
with leaves of high numbers,
nothing under a twenty.

On our 25th Anniversary,
our church threw
a surprise party.

After the pot-luck dinner,
a gaily wrapped gift box
sported a top slit, waving
 
a bit of green. As we pulled,
a chain of bills roped up
through the slot, coiling
ribbons of green.

I had seen “Money Trees” 
as special occasion gifts,
but for the one and only
time, we experienced the gift
of “Money in a Box.”

 

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

Grin And Bare It



Sometimes life can get a little rough “Grin And Bear It” Or should that be “Grin and BARE It” Sounds like good advice Grinning and baring it can be a whole lot more fun But make sure your friends have all gone home And the kiddies are tucked away in their beds fast asleep Before you and your mate start prancing around in the nude Doing and saying all those naughty things Like, “nice melons you have there my dear” This starts the whole proceedings She responds with, “nice frontal protrusion!” Immediately, the fun begins and the house starts rockin' All because you, “Grinned And Bared it!” © Jack Ellison 2014

Poem Details | by Perry Campanella |
Categories: beach, color, dark, fire, kids, fun, giggle, happy, humorous, inspirational, international, july, new year, poetry, senses, voice, youth,

Caution - Fireworks

E-Z Glo Punk, Lightning Flash,
TNT Devices will burst, do crash
Southern Night, Piccolo Petes
       are hard to beat...

I like hand held Sparklers, Tanks
 flashing fountains, Solar Flare
 Six to #20 Gold I have to share,
 no incidence, no burns, thanks...

  Whistles blow, fountains glow,
 pop'n sounds, entire sky all aglow
 I love those colors, high an low
  trails eched onto my retina
  inspired me to let ya know

  Now you close both eyes
in pitch dark, what a surprise
  for you to see, right there
 darkness, absolutely  anywhere
beautiful trails of lights in motion
 
"Always read a label of caution"