Humorous and funny New York poems and/or funny poems about New York. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious New York funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other New York Poems.
Poem Details | by
John Heck |
Categories:
funny
Cucumbers, celery and stem-vine tomatoes
were hobnobbing with my Russett potatoes.
Pears and plums and one Georgian peach
winked at the Wisk and Snuggled the bleach.
Pretzels and popcorn and the Tostitos chips
ogled in awe as Meyer's bacon strips stripped!
Mr. Clean and Mrs. Dash espied a risqued art -
when double-clipped coupons tainted the cart!
Poem Details | by
Charleen Martinez |
Categories:
funny, boy,
There once was a boy from New York
Who refused to taste any pork
Until one bright day
A damsel did say
“let me feed you, my love, from this fork”
Poem Details | by
Ilene Bauer |
Categories:
humor, new york,
Paul McCartney bought a home
Just blocks away from mine.
Of course, he faces Central Park
With views, I’m sure, divine.
My whole apartment likely
In his living room would fit.
I’ll let you know as soon as I
Have been inside of it.
For now that we’ll be neighbors,
I’m convinced – don’t you agree?
That I’ll receive an invitation
For a spot of tea.
I’ll tell him of the fan mail
That I sent him long ago.
I never got his answer
But the mail is so darn slow!
We’ll catch up on how life has been –
I want to know it all;
I’m sure we’ll have a lovely time
When I hear from Sir Paul.
Poem Details | by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen |
Categories:
color, humor,
Yellow and white,
New yolk eggs,
New York become fat!
Poem Details | by
Dorian Petersen Potter |
Categories:
funny, hilarious, humor, humorous,
A two-timer cheater from New York town
Who just enjoys so much to go down
Stocks tires and his likes
He owns cars and a pink bike
And he uses them when does it all down!
Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014
September, 8, 2014
Poem Details | by
Robert Pettit |
Categories:
funny
There once was a fellow from New York
This dummy was an absolute dork
He bet on the Jets
A move he regrets
He thought babies were brought by the stork
Poem Details | by
Iris E. S-Lewis |
Categories:
humor,
Four-Three-Two Park in New York
Haunts the masses night and day
Each cardinal view shows phallus palace
Belonging to those ultra famous?
Such joy-stick of the rich
Belongs to a one-legged giant
You'll see Gulliver's thumb up
Some say it's freedom from poor people tower
Four-Three-Two Park in New York
could be mid-finger of a financial foe
A sore pinkie
It's match stick of the ten percent
A giant chop stick
A may pole sans ribbons
It is the pencil tower
Four-Three-Two Park in New York
Is a tooth pick award
and that too, is final.
*
Poem Details | by
Mark Toney |
Categories:
film, humorous, inspirational, new york, religious, youth,
young progressive priest
financially failing Church. . .
swinging on a star
Copyright © 2018 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
First published 2018 in Hollywood Haiku via wattpad.com
Poem Details | by
L Milton Hankins |
Categories:
humor,
Once there was a right dandy dude from New York
He dined each day on the finest loin of pork
Never met a pig he did not admire,
Roasting on a flaming barby fire
Made even tastier by the pop of the cork.
May 23, 2021
Poem Details | by
Marilyn Williams |
Categories:
appreciation, celebration, holiday, humanity, humor, inspiration, new york,
It's November, There are three holidays in the month: Election Day, Vetern's Day, and Thanksgiving Day.
Everyone will be looking forward to Thanksgiving.
With special feasts lined up. Hams, Turkeys big and small, Pigeon Peas,
and Cocunut Rice, Mac and Cheese, Sweet Potatoes, Gravy, Stuffing of
Apples and Raisians and Corn Bread Stuffing Mix.
What a wonderful feast as this. And all the while we wait for the Big One in December.
Christmas what a treat? Toys for Boys and Dolls for Girls. I can't wait.
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
humor, new york,
Central Park's cool event in May
Brings the gigolos out to play
Ilene says, "Its true!
They're all over you!"
Its Banana Split & Run Day
Poem Details | by
Christopher Bowen |
Categories:
art, celebrity, character, humor, integrity, music, new york,
Freudiana
Famous poet Barclay Cruse
curent toast of New York salons
wears tinted glasses and Italian shoes
and composes doggerel for subway johns.
Acclaimed a purist by his colleagues
hard-edge painter Geoffrey Pyle
earned during Summers spent at Antibes
covert commissions from Armstrong Tile.
Junk sculptor Cranston Bold
collects mufflers and I'm told
often edits his creations
to fix his Chevy station wagon.
Cordell composes way-out music
quartets for flute and flushing toilets.
His father was a music critic
and caned him with his clarinet.
Poem Details | by
Ilene Bauer |
Categories:
funny, introspection, new york,
Peacocks always strut about
In all their cobalt splendor;
While peahens, on the other hand,
Get ripped off for their gender.
Many birds do follow suit –
The males get all the frills;
While females’ feathers, drab and brown,
Don’t offer many thrills.
As humans go, the opposite
Is usually the case;
For sparkling jewels and colors bright
The female does embrace.
Except in New York City, where
We’ve set the species back,
Since most stylish New York women
Like to keep their plumage black!
Ilene Bauer
Poem Details | by
Panagiota Romios |
Categories:
america, humorous, political,
Hot Dogs A New York Tale
There once lived a Mayor named Di Blasio,
Who had steamy, hot desires for Ocasio!
In an effort to woo her and all health crackpots, too,
He pulled out his very lengthy political lance.
"Ah, Divine Maiden, I want you all for my own.
For only this for you will I do,
I am deporting all unhealthy, evil hot dogs to
France."
Maiden Ocasio in gratitude fell to her feet.
So Nathan's went out of business!
Oh how greatly, the New Yorkers wept!
Said she: "The world will indeed be Green!
You and I will be King and Queen..
No cows, no cars, no steel buildings
Divinely, so peachy-clean!"
Panagiota Romios
4/25/2019
11:58pm PST
Re-edited at 4:25pm PST
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
city, food, humorous, universe,
He was a bit overawed
his topic, too broad
A speech on 'The Universe'
ought not to be terse
So he narrowed it down
to his beloved hometown
He focused on New York --
Jews and Muslims who eat pork
He cited some verses
from the Bible and Koran
Then he threw up his hands
Said, "I've done the best I can."
The judges cried, "Bravo!"
You're a brilliant young man
We award you first prize:
An autographed copy of
~ 'Green Eggs and Ham'
Poem Details | by
Aby M'Baye |
Categories:
dream, emotions, environment, funny love, hope, i miss you, love, moon, new york, night, sun,
I thrive
Wherever I go
Abundance and generosity
Wherever I shine
When I get up
Even the horizon is at the party
With its sensual and welcoming colours
When I lie down
Every second is a delight
for the one who sees me
Everywhere
The moon would only want me for herself
But I have no choice
I must love everyone
Without getting too close
At the risk of getting burned
That's why we can only embrace very rarely
Fatally destined
To be separated
But together forever
Aby, New York, 25th May 2022
Poem Details | by
Michael Degenhardt |
Categories:
funny
As darkness descends quietly, upon the little town
The children, eager with their bags, are walking so carefree
They know no fear but taught to them, by their parents’ words
So quickly, they all seek their prize and take, this Halloween
While coming with the darkness, upon this hallows eve
An evil force awakened by the many who pretend
With masks upon their faces, hoping to cause fear
The darkness hides the truth, that’s bringing the towns end
The scary dying breath that now falls upon this town
Is a residential force that has sought its permanence
May the many who depict it by scoffing with its mask
Soon realize they’re the reason that it never up and went
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
humor, new york,
I pictured her milking an udder
And it made my whole body shudder
Then mum piped up,
"Forget her, pup!
She's bound to be some buddy's mudder!"
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
humorous, new york, nostalgia, song,
Hum or Sing this to the
tune of the theme song
of 'Car 54, Where are You?'
*******
There's no gold up in the Bronx
Brooklyn's cops are all uptight
There's looting up in Harlem
That's lasted five long nights
Manhattan is a ghost town
There's nobody around
Mayor de Blasio,
Where are you?
********
The hit TV Show, 'Car 54,
Where are You,' ran from
Sept., 1961 to April, '63.
You can google the theme
song, and even watch a
clip or two from a show.
Pretty silly stuff about
a pair of hapless cops.
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
humor, new york,
New York Christians, Muslims, and Jews
Claim they walked a mile in God's shoes
As you may surmise
When asked for the size
They say they went barefoot like youse!
Poem Details | by
Anais Vionet |
Categories:
friendship, humor, new york, teen, truth, write,
My latest piece is -1600 characters too long for the poetry section (sigh)
So it's under short stories. The URL is:
www.poetrysoup.com/short_stories/merritt_and_the_power_of_charm_10833
I hope you like it.
Poem Details | by
Anais Vionet |
Categories:
humor, new york, school, student, teen, thanksgiving, writing,
My latest piece is 388 characters too long for the poetry section.
So, I posted it in "Short Stories" (Other sites don't have this limit)
Here's the link...
www.poetrysoup.com/short_stories/stupid_10822
If you bother, I hope you like it