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Funny Poems About Pain or Pain Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Pain poems and/or funny poems about Pain. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Pain funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Pain Poems.

Poem Details | by Isaiah Zerbst |
Categories: funny, humor, irony, pain, slam,

Jogger and Logger

For "Show Me the Funny (part two)"

There once was a fellow a woggin'*
Who bumped into one who was loggin'
They had quite a spat
The ax was a bat
And the first had a lump on his noggin


* Woggers are those who get all dressed for jogging, but only go at walking speed, while vigorously pumping their arms to delude themselves that they are jogging.


Poem Details | by harry horsman |
Categories: funny, pain,

Literally A Sonnet About A Hornet

Oh buzz off you crazy crazy hornet
Trying to land here upon my buttock,
Here I am eating my crispy cornet
Lazing naked in my garden hammock.

Tried to coax it with my berry ice cream
But alas it seems unprepared or blind,
Dancing upon an invisible beam
Homing in on me with a one track mind.

Could it be I’ve enhanced the essence air
With a gross wind to further relieve me,
Or is this a mock symphony of flair
Of a Britain’s got talent “Bumble Bee?”

His “The classical flight” winning first prize
In pain my swelling one hell of a size!

© Harry J Horsman 2015


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, food, humorous,

PAIN IN THE BUTT

I visited Doctor Longdong Told doc something’s terribly wrong The pain in my hip Is giving me gyp He said it was caused by my thong! I admit I’ve put on some weight Can’t resist cream cakes on my plate My ‘EX’ boyfriend was rude … So I’m in a bad mood Oh stuff it ….the diet can wait! 11~08~16

Poem Details | by David Aaron |
Categories: allusion, care, funny, humor, imagery, pain, wife,

Fourteen

When someone says break
A leg is never offered
As the sacrifice

Poem Details | by Gail Foster |
Categories: bird, heart, humor, irony, love, myth, pain,

The Gift of Eros


The Gift of Eros

Aloft flies Eros; mischief fluttered wings
With silent rustle whisper overhead
By arrows pierced; the hearts of knaves and kings
The chilly grave, the restless lover’s bed
Blue London air, red Piccadilly light
Above the shifting crowd and constant noise
In summer heat, in neon and the night
He aims his slender bow with perfect poise
Aloft flies Eros; underneath his feet
As shadows of the Circus slowly shift
I contemplate my own love, bitter, sweet
The wound that Eros wrought in me, the gift
And as I turn my tears up to the sky
A pigeon drops an arrow in my eye

by Gail




















Poem Details | by Anindya Mohan Tagore |
Categories: funny, pain,

Smoking is Injurious


"Smoking is bad, Out of fad", says my lad of eight Don't smoke again It does slain you Gives pain to us I do not bluff Said,"Enough!" Took a puff to think 26.02.16

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: fantasy, humorous, pain,

I MUST GIVE UP SWINGING

I was swinging from my glass chandelier Lost my grip and landed smack on my rear Banged my head and blood poured out of my ear I screamed expletives nobody should hear! The ache in my bum was very severe Sobbing with pain I shed a salty tear An ambulance was called, it was soon here The driver said 'oh not you again dear .. you need to stay sober and keep off beer… It’s the second time you’ve done this this year'! Checked with how many syllables Contest Monorhyme Mania Sponsored by John Hamilton 08~22~16

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: allah, angel, angst, confusion, dream, education, faith, freedom, god, happiness, health, heaven, history, holocaust, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, miracle, nature, on writing and words, pain, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religious, sad, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?

Poem Details | by J.W. Earnings |
Categories: angst, change, childhood, confusion, depression, fear, feelings, children, kids, funny, growing up, home, homework, humor, inspiration, lonely, me, miss you, moving on, nature, pain, poetry, school, self, sorrow, stress, teen, time, writing, youth,

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angst, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, education, faith, farewell, funny, humorous, imagination, introspection, lonely, loss, lost, memory, pain, parody, passion, people, places, retirement, sad, science fiction, sorrow, sorry, space, star, teacher, time, travel, tribute, visionary,

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.

Poem Details | by Saahil Parwez |
Categories: hindi, humorous, metaphor, missing you, pain, philosophy, simile,

Triplet-3

Teri Yaaden Mirch Ki Tarah Teekhi Hain
Jab Bhi Aati Aankhen Nam Kar Jaati Hain

Roz Main Tumko Cheeni Kha Ke Sochta Hun.

Poem Details | by TAMMY REAMS |
Categories: fear, humorous, men, pain, power,

Men and Hunting


                              Brave man
                              buckshot
                              rear rump
                              hot lead
                              stings red
                              pants drop
                              sees blood
                              Fainted!

 3/30/15     contest sponsored by: Judy Konos  'Your Footle Poem'
                         T Reams       1st Place



Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angst, autumn, business, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, fear, grief, growing up, happiness, happy, hate, health, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, love, on work and working, pain, parody, people, relationship, retirement, sad, satire, school, social, stress, success, sympathy, time, work,

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!

Poem Details | by David Aaron |
Categories: humor, i love you, metaphor, nostalgia, pain, paris, wife,

Twenty five

Paris gave us much
from romance to this plaster
white Eiffel Tower

Poem Details | by J.W. Earnings |
Categories: adventure, animal, confusion, courage, fear, funny, imagination, inspirational, life, lost, nature, on work and working, pain, relationship, stress, time, tree, uplifting, work,

ZOOKEEPER

Lookin' after pests
Keepin' a CLOSE eye on 'em
"Those wild animals!"

Roamin' around zoo
Searchin' for sneaky monkey
Hidin' in a tree

Zookeeper gets mad
"Where's Marty, the smartypants!?"
"He TOOK my cage keys!"


Poem Details | by Viv Wigley |
Categories: humor, pain,

The zipper

 (my tribute to Limerickmeister Jack Ellison, smile engine extraordinaire)

I remember the time when I caught a
bit of my body parts where I oughtn't a
in much pain did I struggle
with my bits I did juggle
it really did make my eyes water!

Poem Details | by J.W. Earnings |
Categories: adventure, art, beach, beauty, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dedication, fear, children, kids, freedom, friendship, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, history, hope, imagination, inspirational, journey, life, lonely, lost, mystery, nature, pain, passion, people, time, uplifting,

Have You Ever Read

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!


~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby

They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" -  how mean!!~~~

Piggy asks him if
There are other people on 
The island with 'em

He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear - 
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??

You'll see...

Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!



Poem Details | by Sunshine Smile |
Categories: funny, pain,

- On Thin Ice -


Aware .....
Did someone see
My butt is sore
Did someone see
Now I'm sure both yellow and blue
Did someone see
I look around quickly
Did someone see
I wish I could shout loud
Did someone see
I get up in a hurry
Did someone see
I wet my butt
Did someone see




18.01.2013
A-L  Andresen :)

Poem Details | by J.W. Earnings |
Categories: angst, confusion, crazy, dad, environment, father, fear, feelings, kids, funny, growing up, how i feel, inspiration, life, lost, memory, pain, stress, time, words, youth,

Forgetfulness x-x

Oh no!! I forgot – I had a plate of dessert In the cool freezer Oh no!! Dad forgot – He left his blue bowl of fruit On the clean counter!

Poem Details | by POET. UNDERTAKER |
Categories: humor,

pain killer

Once there was a wise man called Dr.Dates"the truth",
preaches “love, a great cure for all pain”. great truth.
Tender affection from others surely,
removes unpleasant sensations nicely.
Bloody, this fellow preaches filthy philosophy as truth!

Poem Details | by TAMMY REAMS |
Categories: body, funny, humor, humorous, men, pain,

Let'er Rip

Let'er Rip and Shoot from the Hips
My pants got hung as I start to unzip!
Let'er Rip and Shoot from the Hips
With the pain from the nip I start to skip!
Let'er Rip and Shoot from the Hips
I guess the women are right I'm well equip!

  T Reams

Poem Details | by J.W. Earnings |
Categories: confusion, dedication, fear, food, children, kids, forgiveness, friendship, funny, happiness, happy, hope, inspirational, life, lonely, pain, passion, people, spring, teen, time, uplifting, visionary,

Soy Sauce Spills

Soy sauce drains 
Into the white, clustered rice
Stepped on…
spills . . . 
Soy sauce taints
The whiteness of the grain
 It slips out of my hands
No use...no point in crying out in rage
Though I was starving, 
I'll just eat another thing and start on a new page

I'm hungry like a swine
I wish I can earn back my snack!
I'm as angry as a bull
I'm about ready to attack! Attack!
Soy sauce packages
Fall unto the dirty school ground
Stepped on
By bratty, conceited teens
They really need to eat their greens
Instead of junkfood and pizza
They should drink some water
Instead of drinking sugary drinks or
 Sucking on popsicles obnoxiously
Why did the soy sauce spill? Seriously....


Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: humorous,

No Gain No Pain

I want to thank all of the judges
and I'll try to make it quite clear
for not letting me win in your contest
I seem to lose weight every year
I write my heart out on paper
and I send it with hope, but at last
It resist being read by you people
but has no trouble finding the trash
Still I say, I must give you my thanks
And nothing more need now be said
'cause if I won one of your contest
I couldn't bare the weight of my head

Poem Details | by Janice Canerdy |
Categories: humor, pain, word play,

Oh, My Faking Eet


		       

		My foor peet were baking bo sadly.
		Irk  wended, and home I glushed radly.
		I clopped down on the fouch.
		I  was such a green mouch,
		just snapping at mamily fadly!

		I shopped after faving my hit,
		but sery voon I cad to whit!
		I was stanned from the bore.
		Say thaid, "Come here mo nore"
		when I yelled, "This foo doesn't s_ _ _!"


March 2, 2016
		

Poem Details | by David Aaron |
Categories: fun, funny love, happy, humor, pain, sexy, wife,

Thirteen

My toes "taste so good"?
Careful with my casted leg!
Crutches keep me safe.