Humorous and funny Grandparents poems and/or funny poems about Grandparents. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Grandparents funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Grandparents Poems.
children, humorous, parents,
Small babies are unpredictable just like the weather
Often wet; with sudden outbreaks of terrible wind
But would I have altered anything, no never …
Being a parent, you become very thick skinned!
Sponsor: Silent One
age, humorous, old, parents,
Ninety Nine Years old
When I was 99 years old
My Mother said to me
Always be a good Boy
Then you’ll live older than me
When I was 99 years old
My Father said to me
Help me tidy the Kitchen Son
Grandma’s coming to Tea
animal, funny, kid, kindergarten, parents,
Hey Mummy, hey daddy
Guess what I got today.
A headful of headaches
Are coming your way
My best friend at kindy
She gave me a gift
Lots of them, actually
They move and they shift
They are really athletic
They jump really high
They come and they stay
No need to say bye
They make me dance
My best friend is so nice
I couldn't wait to tell you
That she gave me lice!
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen
Pa a gent,
Ma his agent,
Ma at home,on rent!
children, humorous, parents, sexy,
Parents locked in a loving embrace
Mum was wearing pink satin and lace
Making love on the floor
Their kids burst through the door
Just imagine the looks on their face!
Quickly covering bodies and tushes
They bribed the kids to spare their own blushes
Dad put some locks on the door
Just to be doubly sure -
So when entwined they enjoy their crushes
Sponsor: Broken Wings
childhood, children, funny, kid, moon, my child, parents,
I really want the moon, who smiles oh so bright,
to be a little different, if only for tonight.
Last night it was a circle, same as the night before,
its always been a circle, and that is such a bore.
So little star up in the sky, I wish I may and might,
make the moon a triangle, and make it pink, not white.
*Last night my 2 year old daughter saw the moon and said, "I really want the moon to be a triangle, but it keeps being a circle!"
children, humorous, parents, truth,
My advice to my younger self would be
DON'T believe what adults tell you...
The Easter Bunny
The Tooth Fairy
Carrots help you see in the dark...
I rest my case!
Contest: What would you say
Sponsor: Alexis Y
computer, funny, parents,
I took my father
Out into the garden
And banged my head
Against the brick wall
While he was saying
That the azaleas
Were doing fine.
When I banged my head again,
He told me the grass
And the fence
Was too low.
When I banged my head once more
My father became concerned
And asked me why
I banged my head so.
And I told him that this
Was a metaphor
For teaching him
How to use a computer,
And he said
That I was just as crap
At gardening as he was
And that even brick walls
family, humorous, my children,
What Parents Should Say
Written by: D. Collins 5/6/16
And We Quote…………
“Go out and test the water, but swim the right way.”
“We relinquished rights on your eighteenth birthday.”
“We’re on vacation enjoying some of life.”
“We can’t get a signal or enough height.”
“Your dad is busy. He can’t come to the phone.”
“When you blow all your money don’t call home.”
“Join the Army and go see the world.”
“Wear a condom when you get with the girls.”
“We’re only weening you ‘cause all animals ween.”
“We’ll have to call you back, we’re on the putting green.”
“We gave you the tools, now its time to use them.”
"It’s called growing up to become young women and men.”
animal, childhood, family, humorous, parents, son, word play,
A kid is not a human child
But offspring of a goat
So why do you then call him so
And thus your son demote.
Kids are animals wild and free
That butt and kick and bite,
On second thoughts – I’ve met your son,
Perhaps in fact you’re right.
Don’t be such a hypocrite
Eat your vegetables
childhood, humor, parents,
First hear it from my Mom and Dad,
at first I thought the idea absurd,
but then I thought what the heck,
so I went outside to look around and check,
Investigating every single inch of property,
some squirrels running by my young feet,
with my happiness being short lived,
when I noticed no money growing on our trees.
emotions, funny love, grief, moving on, parents, perspective, relationship,
What do you think happens when you die?
I asked the sobbing 7-year-old.
She could not quit though.
She was in full-blown
keening, and screaming now,
Her very caring, loving, unselfish parent
Had told her about the death of her
Great-aunt Rose, whom she had
Never met who
It was the fifth time I had
seen her this week as
her great-great grandfather
had passed in 1972, 74, 78,
81, and 85.
Her mother, was the best
story-telling drug addicted
parent in the world
do to keep
lilttle one in
It has been confirmed victims Respect and Dignity have been found dead.
Respect died from several slaps to the face and Dignity was shot in the head.
Suspects have been identified as Dishonor Yu, Plain Ignorance and total disregard.
They have been affiliated with the gang Flippancy out of the city of Contemptuous yard.
Do not approach suspects they are considered arm with bad manners and a lack of upbringing.
If you have any information please contact your nearest Elder’s office at 1-800- needs a good *** kicking.
J Clinton Smith
daughter, family, funny, life, love, son
What to do when starting at 1
2 at a time now 3 is done
4 is fun yet 5 has come
and 6 is here should we've begun
Oh no now 7 could this be true
and 8 and 9 what to do
add a 1 and no more too
that makes 10 what a crew
Remember though when starting
at 1 that making the kids is part of the fun
So I warn you all when starting at 1
be responsible in your love with your daughters and sons
allegory, animal, children, humorous, parents, people,
The higher the fecundity of hares,
the worse the chance to reconcile their heirs.
Old girlfriends, my dad’s drifting down that path,
Into death valley as my mom seethes wrath.
The old man’s gone crazy.
His mind sharp, not lazy.
Mom’s dried the dishes. Dad’s in the flight path.
Things mom's always say
That can ruin a kids day
" I don't care what your dad said."
" If your friends jumped off a bridge would You"
" Because I said So that is why"
"NO NO NO and still NO "
Thing dad's always say
When they don't want to ruin a kids day
"GO ASK YOUR MOTHER"
Freddie Robinson Jr.
childhood, humor, metaphor, parents,
Got my hand caught in the cookie jar,
mother’s ears didn’t wander too far
Here comes the wooden stare ...
then hot bottom fanned air
Double trouble, here comes father’s car
family, funny, hair, parents, silly, teenage,
To prove that she just did not care
She tossed all her clothes in the air
Her father would scream
Whilst mum ate ice cream
And the postman sighed, "What a pair!"
Freddy had a rubber dolly
Designed to be, "Freddy's Folly"
Out of the blue
She proved untrue
And bounced off the bed with Wally
Wanda & May Bee were very best friends
Like all teenagers they followed the trends
In all kinds of weather
They would cry together
Their world was ending; they both had split ends!
baby, humorous, parents, sad, society, spoken word, technology,
As parents we just love to hear
our baby say their first word
But in this technological age
I’ve just read something absurd
I love to hear babies babbling
But will this news story vex ‘ya’
The baby didn’t say mama or dada
Its very first word was ALEXA!
Are the parents just seeking notoriety ...
Or is this a poor reflection on today’s society
Poem inspired by this news story
conflict, daughter, humorous, parents,
A woman whose name is Tess Tickle
Gets upset and in a right pickle
Folks make fun of her name
(Thoughtless parents to blame)
Her respect for them is quite fickle
candy, conflict, grandmother, humorous, mother daughter, parents,
Given treat –
Mummy cross …
"Fem Bogstaver" Contest
Sponsored by Rhoda Tripp
Freddie Robinson Jr.
humorous, parents, parody, wisdom,
Got sent to the principal's office
Sex Ed teacher made the call
Said I didn't raise my hand,
and spoke out of turn
That I said some racy things,
that had the whole class giggling
Well, Mr. Principal, sir ...
I simply said my parents told me
that sex don't work like that
They said before you go ripping your clothes off,
and jumping in the sack ...
eager to sow your seed
You first gotta find that needle in the haystack
Miroslaw Eric Sulkowski
children, love, parents,
Surprise! Here I am!
Doc, a boy or a girl?
What color of eyes
then poo in the diaper?
I rock and I roll,
I drool and I fall,
I smell but can tell
just how much you love me
First cry, then I squeak
Hey Dad, I can speak
Get ready for questions
and some indigestion
Got ways to obtain,
Will to disobey,
The rebel is here
along with some pimples
World around I shall tame,
Silly stuff I’ll proclaim,
Shake your head, ’s if to say:
Funny how much we love our kids