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Funny Poems About Prayer or Prayer Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Prayer poems and/or funny poems about Prayer. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Prayer funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Prayer Poems.

Poem Details | by Joe DiMino |
Categories: humorous, imagery, metaphor, nonsense, prayer, voyage, word play,

The Writer's Prayer

I like to think 
that poetry
has intrinsic value
above and beyond 
the actual craft…

That the origins
of poetry’s meter
and rhyme precede
each preliminary
draft…

That something, perhaps
even spiritual, transcends
the fore-and-aft…

And when the writer
thinks to scuttle
a work, as often
inherently we do, 

always
may there be angels
floating him
a Literary-raft….


Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: allah, angel, angst, confusion, dream, education, faith, freedom, god, happiness, health, heaven, history, holocaust, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, miracle, nature, on writing and words, pain, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religious, sad, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Poem Details | by Marvin D. Schrebe |
Categories: kids, funny, nature, nostalgia, prayer, children, snow, children, snow,

Falling Snow

Outside the snow is falling
The children are sleighing
Sometimes they start snowballing
Outside the snow is falling
“Dinner is served”, their Mom is calling
The children don’t hear what she’s saying
Outside the snow is falling
The children are sleighing!
	

Poem Details | by Dennis East |
Categories: death, humorous, prayer,

Lord, don't let me die on the toilet

Lord, don't let me die on the toilet,
I would much rather die on a bus.

As the thought of me sat with my pants down, 
drives me mad just to think of the fuss.

But the thought of me off while I'm sleeping, 
seems a much more acceptable plan.

Though I'll have to start wearing pajamas 
and be a much more presentable man.

Amen


Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: funny, money, prayer, satire,

My confession

I am led by desire
I desire this
I desire that
I desire everything 
that all my friends’ 
have and desire
because 
someone else has and desires it 

God 
I know I have no use 
for most of it
but I must have it

I desire life
but not death
for the fear of it
I desire life because 
most my friends have it and want it 
and fear death because 
most of my friends fear it

God 
when I am dead
maybe I will desire nothing
because all my dead friends 
will most likely desire nothing
and hopefully
we will most likely have no use 
for any of it

then God 
what will become of it?

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: child, funny, humorous, prayer, religious, science, science fiction, space,

Aliens at Your Bedroom Window

Don’t worry now child
There's no god, so worship space
You are not alone.

Poem Details | by chipepo lwele |
Categories: forgiveness, funny,

-JAIL-BIRD'S-PRAYER

Oh Lord,forgive the arresting officer
who first caught me when I committed crime__
for destroying my future.
Again,I pray to blindfold the inspector of police__
that He may order police officers to delete my 
picture and name from the 'wanted persons list'__
Also, make lazy police officers assigned to arrest
me from my hiding place__
Jail changed my life!

chipepo lwele
*Dedicated to hardcore Jailbirds


Poem Details | by Tony Lane |
Categories: funny, prayer,

Death of a Salesman

Christmas comes just once a year And that should be a blessing, It’s not the birth of Christ I fear, It’s the shopping that’s so depressing. They now fire off starting guns, To start the spending is their goal. But the news stories that the TV runs, Report the shopping day’s death toll. It seems the shoppers who wait up front In these times of greed, In order to get the gifts they want Are willing to make you bleed. So say a prayer and get out of the way For it’s civility that we clearly lack, We used to call this “Shopper’s Friday,” But you see now why it’s called black.

Poem Details | by Marrissa Kamckey- Harms |
Categories: funny, happiness, life, prayer,

Falling Down- Trochee

Every time I take a step,
I end up falling down.
Legs flying throw the air,
Making me look like a clown.

Though if I jump up in the sky,
Holding a simple prayer in my mind.
I fly....
Only to land on my behind!:-)

Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: angst, funny, health, nature, religion, satire, wifeme, me,

Menopause Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord for no more heat
For if it comes, I’ll be awake
I pray the Lord, don’t make me bake

I’ll even get down on my knees
And pray the Lord “Lord, pretty please”
Please don’t turn my furnace on
My flesh is weak, my patience’s gone

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep 
Since menopause turned on the heat
And it’s no good Lord, counting sheep
If into fire, Lord they leap

So Lord, please grant me this request
And take this fire from my chest
Let someone else be thusly blessed
And let me finally get some rest

Short Poem contest - Honorable Mention finish
Mdailey

written for my wife

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous, prayer, technology,

12 O'Clock 12 O'Clock 12 O'Clock



12 o'clock... 12 o'clock... 12 o'clock! How do you set this damn clock Thought of bashing it to bits with a hammer To get the damn flashing to stop Always assumed I was quite intelligent But technology has me bamboozled Tried reading the manual but that didn't work To comprehend, from my brain came refusal My smart *** ten year old nephew happened by "Not a problem dear uncle, I'll fix it" Two minutes later, the damn flashing stopped Felt dorkish and kind of a twit My fervent prayer which I possess without malice Is for technology to bury this young geek In a deluge of bits and bytes and firewalls Till he no longer can get a good night's sleep! © Jack Ellison 2012

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: faith, health, humorous, people, prayer, religion, wisdom,

A simple X-ray

Too often, a simple X-ray 
makes militant atheists pray.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by Warner Baxter |
Categories: blessing, funny, humor, jobs, prayer, satire,

The **** Star Prayer

Lord,
We do give thee thanks for the abundance
That is ours in glorious nudity
Even though some of it is saline
And some with silicon
Bless each and every one
~~~
Tell your mind what your body 
already knows
~~
Understand this,
They wanna be you, they wanna be just like you
Because right now, you are the sexiest
Woman on God’s green Earth 

Amen
?

NOTE: This piece is NOT about ***********, it is a satire, a humorous jab at 
the Industry
Please enjoy with this in mind or skip over it completely Thank you

Poem Details | by Darlene Gifford |
Categories: child, humor, thanksgiving day,

A Child's Thanksgiving Prayer

The children at the table,
all bowed their heads to pray,
and said what they were thankful for,
on this Thanksgiving day.

Then last to speak
was little wide-eyed Pegs,
"Thank you, Jesus," she prayed,
"for making turkey legs."

Poem Details | by Molly Cooper |
Categories: funny, people, prayer, me,

Driving Miss Daisy

Commit to the turn!
Turn, Turn, Turn!!!
I am behind you, see me burn! 
If you turn on your blinker
That means your going left or right
The way you drive leaves me in a fright!
Anxious I may be to get on my way
But your driving (or lack there of) is keeping us all at bay
As I take a deep breath and say a prayer for you
I am reminded that I have a grandma too
If you’re old or very young indeed
Here are some instructions for driving day by day
Commit to the turn! 
Turn, Turn, Turn!!!


A Poem for Contest “ What Annoys You” 

Poem Details | by Betty Harp Butler |
Categories: humorous, prayer, religious, sleep,

When You Can't Sleep

I have a secret that is very simple.
I’ll share it with you if I may.
When you can’t sleep,
Don’t  count  sheep.
Pray...

Pray for those you love,
And  those who don’t love you.
Pray for your friends,
And for your enemies too.

Pray for your family-
All of them,  not  just one or two.
Pray for everyone who is sick, hurting, or lost.
And when you feel  you are through,
Pray for you.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: angst, funny, prayer, technology,

12 o'clock 12 o'clock 12 o'clock

12 o'clock... 12 o'clock... 12 o'clock! How does one set the damn clock Had to put a sheet on my new clock radio To get the damn flashing to stop Thought I was smart, quite intelligent But technology has me all bamboozled Tried reading the manual that comes with the unit To comprehend, from my brain came refusal My smart *** ten year old nephew came by "Not a problem dear uncle, I'll fix it" A minute and a half later, the damn flashing stopped Felt dorkish and kind of a twit My fervent prayer which I offer without malice That technology buries this young geek In a deluge of bits and bytes and firewalls Till no longer he can get a night's sleep! © Jack Ellison 2012

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: culture, food, funny, nature, prayer, spiritual, word play,

Behind a Vegan Moon

No one likes dead lettuce
It must be crisp and cool
And dousing wounds with vinegar
Is certainly not cruel!

For Vegans can not see
Why lettuce choose to be
On a different frequency
Than Donald Trump might be

A salad will pass away
Shivering with cold today
Disgusted Vegans will say,
"I never heard lettuce pray"

Poem Details | by Robert Amure |
Categories: christian, encouraging, funny, tribute,

A Prayer for Bad Noose

Prayer For Bad Noose
(The Goitre Psalm) 

The Lord is my Shepherd
I shall not want a Swollen Neck
He Leads me to the BEST Physician
He Restores my Throat
He Leads me through the dangers of Surgery
		for His Name’s Sake
Yeah, thou I work through the Shallowest of Breath, 
I fear it’s just “Goitre Go!!”…Thyroid - 
and Thy Staff comfort me.
Thou Prepared an Operating Table for me……
You anointed my body with Anaesthesia …my Calm Runs over.
Surely with Your Goodness and Mercy shall I swallow…
….all the Days of my Life.

		(The Fg 81.5.8)

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny

A Mantis' After-dinner Prayer

prey of the day - frog
pleased mantis licks spiny hands. . . 
that was delicious



Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: clothes, culture, funny, prayer, religion, remember, repetition,

Knickers

God knows what you need
Before you need it
So why bend your knees
To chant or plead it?

Remember when you
Would make such a fuss
Each time your mum asked,
"Clean knickers for the bus?"

Poem Details | by cheryl hoffman |
Categories: anxiety, humor, prayer,

Raining Cats and Dogs

This past week it was raining cats and dogs,
prayed about it to not get so annoyed,
one car totaled other in infirmary,
husband tomorrow having triple bypass surgery,
Meow, Arf, Splat go land some more in the bog.

Poem Details | by John Hamilton |
Categories: funny, god, prayer, pride,

Impatience of the proud

Impatience of the proud


The proud and the selfish always need to be first in line
They cannot wait for anyone their self- importance is so sublime
They even pray to God 'Oh Lord please help me to be patient and be kind
But, can you hurry it up please, I'm really out of time'!



John Derek Hamilton
February15,2016


Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: christmas, fun, funny, humorous, life, prayer, thanksgiving,

Prayer for Thanksgiving

Dear Lord
We give thanks to you 
this day
for everything that we have 

And for everything 
that we do not have
and have asked you for 
in the past

would you 
please ask Santa to rush it 
and get it here 
by Christmas

Thanks Lord