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Funny Poems About Quintain (English) or Quintain (English) Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Quintain (English) poems and/or funny poems about Quintain (English). Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Quintain (English) funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Quintain (English) Poems.

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: humor,

Underpass Warning

Caution. Watch your head. This underpass is very low!

Is it one you think you can get under?

Unless you’re blind, it’s something that instinctively a driver ought to know.

So if you drive a great big truck, you’ll know you’ve made a blunder

if coming out the other side, you find your roof from your cab is torn asunder!



Written Oct. 17, 2016 For the Warning Contest of  Viv Wigley


Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: humanity, humor,

POLICE SCRATCHING HEAD

Through the glass I spied an old man
     And he’s reading his text
  With no care and I’m vexed
       A long letter...what’s next?
Origami folds into fan…

8/27/2018
ABBBA - Mad-Song Stanza/Quintain

Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: funny

Welcome Winter

Winter's chill is invigorating
Like and electric chair--zap!
Those cold hands make me want to run screaming
Get those icicles away from me!! Oh snap!
Welcome winter, don't last too long, where is my cap?

The blustery wind in less than fifty degrees
Cuts like a knife, injury to injury I say, winter don't stay
High heating bills, charge account is over drawn, PLeeease!
The daylight is short and the sky is gray
Why does it have to get this way??

For Carol Brown(for the contest)

Oh yeah welcome WINTER!
Christmas charge account is over drawn??
I owe what??

Poem Details | by Lee Ramage |
Categories: funny, husband,

Men Don't Gain Weight

A handsome man tall, slim and about 225 pounds, Asked me out for a seafood dinner on our first date, Still eats everything fattening, I know how that sounds, Some twenty-eight years later, I still have a 225 pound mate, That sucks, I’m not fat ~ just really, really short for my weight. October 8, 2011 For Nancy Jone’s Contest “Things That Suck”

Poem Details | by Lee Ramage |
Categories: funny, nature,

Almost Picture Perfect

Rain has been plentiful lately, the grass is emerald green, A beautiful lush carpet, thoughts of a Monet it does evoke, Four acres of rolling land comprises our country scene, Our home on the hill is partially hidden, not by Ash or Oak, It’s really quite simple, our josh darn lawnmower’s broke. Written by Lee Ramage For Francine Robert’s contest “One English Quintain” Placement: Third

Poem Details | by Bob Quigley |
Categories: funny, me,

My Favorite Drink

Now let me see, what drink do I Crave most, this has me vexed What do I order when I’m dry Oh gosh, I'm so perplexed I guess the one I’m having next
Bob Quigley 10/23/2011 For the "Pick A Beverage, Any Beverage" contest

Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: funny, happiness

My Favorite Hat

I see it in the shop window,
blue straw, white braided trim.
On the back it has a lovely bow.
I buy it on a whim
and don it, sink or swim.

I wear it on the avenue.
I wear it on the street.
So happy in my hat of blue,
I smile at all I meet
and some of them I greet.

The sunshine is so blinding bright,
my eyes begin to blink.
A fellow thinks to his delight,
I am sending him a wink.
A big mistake, I think.

I hurry to my little home,
to one whose waiting there.
I promise him I’ll no more roam.
My blue hat I’ll only wear
for the one for whom I care.


For Favorite Hat  contest sponsored by Carol won a 5th in this

Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: funny

My Favorite Lid

I've worn many types of headgear
since I was a little kid.
Mostly Golf and Baseball caps,
no matter what I did,
I guess I always wore a "Lid"!

But of all the "Lids" I ever wore, 
my favorite - I'll exclaim,
was the Helmet I wore in Viet Nam, 
no matter how annoying it became.
It was my favorite just the same.

Poem Details | by Matt Caliri |
Categories: funny,

Quintan English Muffins

This winter frost tightens my insides,
A bitter wind tosses my neck.
The toss and tangle of the tides,
We walk within the speck,
Always telling people to "wait a sec."

The window is cracked a few inches open:
I am letting my God receive me.
Do not misunderstand the words that I've spoken.
Simply see what you can see.
You be you, and I'll be me.

*English Quintan contest...winner gets year's worth of english muffins
12/12/11

Poem Details | by Lee Ramage |
Categories: food, funny,

The Love Of Food

“Food soothes the soul but widens the waist” A connoisseur of fine dining and fast fry I cannot deny, All memorable occasions seem to revolve around food, Tables filled with tender meat, vegetables and homemade pie, The succulent tastes melt in my mouth and raise my mood, But my cholesterol and waistline are absolutely screwed! Written by Lee Ramage September 9, 2011 For Contest “6 Lines of Poetry, Please” won 6th place

Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: animals, funny,

Kitty Chiropractor

It is mighty bizarre hanging here like this
Mom says I have to take it, so the doctor say
Next time I see his hairy face I'll give 'im a hiss
It's no fun just hanging in the closet  today
My back IS a whole heap better, yes way!


For the hanging in there contest
Poem by Doris Culverhouse
8/4/11

Inspired by and adorable kitty in overalls hanging in the closet on a hook. Looks like 
he lost his best friend yet content eerily.

Poem Details | by Brian Magness |
Categories: animals, funny, nature

Bass Grin, Amen

I go to church and say amen once a week
But in my boat and in my spot
I am much more patient, quiet, and meek
I toss my line it’s just the right shot!!
Again, I will say amen as the bass does grin a lot.


Written for contest Anagrammatically Speaking  
Brian Magness

Poem Details | by Daniel Turner |
Categories: humor, philosophy, science,

Some Folks

Amazing some folks don't believe in science
They say that global warming is not real
But in their quest for oil, form an alliance
Because it has the power to reveal
If you're like me, you're thinking, "What a heel!"


    7/12/17

Poem Details | by cecil hickman |
Categories: funny, introspection, lifetime,

No Chapeau

One time in the past, I saw a picture of me.
I was a child; I wore a cowboy suit with cowboy hat.
I don’t remember this, but it was still part of history.
There was only, one other time, other than that.
This time I wore, baseball cap and helmet at bat,

I knew early on, my head would be bare eternally.
For my head was too big and also to flat,
Believe me whoever I asked, would definitely agree.
The thing I would use a hat for, would be to swat a gnat.
So I really have no favorite, definitely not, a Top Hat.


written for
Sponsor Carol Brown 
Contest Name My Favorite Hat or Bonnet 

Poem Details | by Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories: computer, humor, work,

Surfing the Web

I, the technologically challenged one,
am surfing the web even as we speak.
I thought computers would be one and done,
but now I find that we must all speak Greek
and learn the ins and out within a week.

This is nothing new; it's gone on for years.
I learned the basic Word and Excel stuff
once upon a time, but none of it clears
a temp agency, it's just not enough.
So in the end I'm playing blind man's bluff.



Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny,

My Merlot Transformation

One glass of Merlot makes my innards tingle

Dry wine has a way of making me romantic

Two glasses blur my vision, but I'm eager to mingle

Half a carafe finds my language less than pedantic

No misinterpretation, dwell not on meanings semantic 



*Entry for Francine’s “Pick a Beverage, Any Beverage” contest
October 23, 2011 by Carolyn Devonshire

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Cook Betty

The cooks in the restaurant found it appalling
how Betty messed up every pie she was baking
and how- from her tripping and falling -
dish after dish Cook Betty kept breaking.
What a spectacle of herself she was making!

Today, however, Betty is relieved
because of how much better she is faring.
All the other cooks are no longer peeved,
for Cook Betty has stopped all her erring
thanks to the new spectacles she's wearing!


(Revision of my previous post, which needed to be a quintain
 for Joe Maverick's Contest)

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, pets,

Trapped and Pegged

Hangin' in there is all that I can do
My owner has trapped me, stuck me on a peg
All I was doin' was fun to ensue
Running as fast as I could on my limber leg
Right now I really don't like my owner Meg

Contest: Hangin' In There
Sponsor: Francine Roberts
Written by:  Sara Kendrick
Date written: 07, 30-31, 2011

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny, life, time, new year,

This Year's Bucket List

The years are picking up speed This last one just seemed to fly To old age I soon must concede But before life passes me by Hang Gliding I really must try ..
Barbara Gorelick 1/8/12 Happy New Year contest

Poem Details | by Christina Larmon |
Categories: funny, love, parody,

Romeo's Goodbye

Tainted lovers leave
Broken lies.
From sorrow did our souls reply,
To see upon this marital bed
A prickly thorn upon its head.
And I,
With shirt,and shoes,and cap
Do take those tender words right back.
For intertwined we could never be
A stitch on true love's tapestry.
For hurried hearts
Doth often hide
Where lustful desires coincide.
Now that the beast lay satisfied
I fear my love for thee hath died.
And all I pray thee take in stride
With this my ultimate,
Last goodbye.

Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: funny,

A Hanging Divinity

~Hanging in there is divine,
   Feline, representative of wholeness,
   Feline of fancy,  I remind;
   my Overalls be the proof of  boldness,
   my wall hanging is proof of goal-quest. 

~Though proof is faulty at best, 
   duress not easy for one to concur.
   Be patient as I confess;
   though overall position hides Monsieur,(my lord)
   divine, divinity is clear, ‘bonsoir!(good evening) 

      This poem is patterned after 2007 Form Challenges
   #18 English Quintain

   This is a popular form of Quintain having no set measure or foot 
   and has a rhyming scheme of a. b. a. b. b. 


Poem Details | by T.A. Skyles-Theoklapoet |
Categories: funny, me,

REDALICOUS

                "REDALICOUS"

The name is Teresa but they call me Red.
Because of the color on top of my head.
Redheads have a bad temper.
They also cry and whimper.
Nothing for me to dread for being redalicous.
                      Teresa Skyles
Entered in Namcy Jones's"Make-up a name and write about it"contest

Poem Details | by Tahera Mannan |
Categories: funny

The Story of a Hat

I once owned a pretty hat
Flowers and buds formed a garland around
People said it looked like a mat
I locked it in so it couldn’t be found
Then after a year I tried to match it on a gown

When located it was damp and musty
Smelled like stale bread a month old
The flowers looked limp and dusty
I tried to straighten it and open its fold
Alas inside lived a colony of termites, behold

Poem Details | by Dean Wood |
Categories: humorous,

Folly Upon Dart

A re-hab center on the River Dart
Enjoyed the status mark of “upper class”
Until the day that standing fell apart --
A Baroness observed a scene so crass;
The signage there said, “Please, Keep off the Grass”.


July 12, 2017
Form:  	Quintain
Meter:	Iambic Pentameter

1st Place
English Quintain Contest
Sponsored by:  Janice Canerdy

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny,

Just Hanging Out


Ok, it seems I made a bit of a mess It happened when my lady was on the phone Ok, so I kind of messed up her new dress I knew it wasn't good when she started to groan But really now, to hang me up here all alone?
Barbara Gorelick 8/2/11