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Funny Poems About Relationship
Humorous and funny Relationship poems and/or funny poems about Relationship. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Relationship funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Relationship Poems.
Poem Details | by
Duke Beaufort |
Categories:
computer-internet, humorous, relationship,
Tapped messages go out direct
With phones it's an easy connect
Thoughts from a finger
In cyberspace linger
But touching's too much to expect
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,
When I grow up, will I still be princess?
Of course, says glowing daddy.
A roll of the queen’s eyes.
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
humorous, marriage, relationship, romance,
She whispered sweet nothings in his ear
He seemed so pleased, she’d nothing to fear
So odd, thought she, he never liked this before
And now with his smile, he clearly wants more…
If you can keep a secret, dear reader, I’ll tell you, says he
I’ve gone deaf as a doorpost; nothing irritates me
I just keep this silly smile glued to my face
Nod my head sometimes too, just in case…
Poem Details | by
Paula Goldsmith |
Categories:
hate, humor, love, relationship, today, together, uplifting,
Today,
I love you.
Today,
I hate you.
This week,
I love you,
This week,
I hate you.
Can this go on,
it has for years.
This love hate relationship,
is now over.
I am kicking you to the curb,
to the trash can you must go.
Did you figure me out,
I am your bathroom scale.
Hooray~you are gone.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, marriage, relationship, technology,
There once was a fellow named Ted
Who recently in church got wed
His wife was in the mood
Laying there in the nude…
He was texting his friends instead!
He was sending text after text
His new wife was feeling quite vexed
'I'm after your bone -
now get off your phone ....
Or I'll leave if I'm under sexed!
A collaboration with Jospeh May
Both Poems inspired by 'And Nothing Else Matters' By Andrea Dietrich
1st May 2016
Poem Details | by
Tasha Taylor |
Categories:
boyfriend, funny love, girlfriend, psychological, relationship,
"Doctor!
Doctor!
How is he?"
"Quite terrible, Miss.
He will not survive the night,
Probably not even the hour."
"What does he have?
Terminal cancer?
Pneumonia?
Cardiac Arrest?"
"No.
It is worse then all of those.
Even combined."
"Oh no!
Can I see him?
"I imagine you can, Miss.
But that's the problem.
I'm afraid I can't treat him
Since I can't--"
"Doctor! Please tell me.
I love him.
He's my boyfriend.
We have no secrets."
"Then you may wanna sit down.
Miss, I am sorry to inform you,
Your boyfriend is ailed with
A severe case of nonexistence."
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
conflict, humorous, relationship,
Sue decided to send Jim a tweet
She used words that were quite indiscreet
Calling him a fat turd -
(Using another word)
Their romance has taken a back seat!
12~23~16
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
funny love, humorous, relationship, , cute,
Pat swung from a chandelier
Fell off and hurt her cute rear
She gave it a rub
And soaked in the tub
Next time she’ll stay off the beer!
Pat copied the birds and the bees
And had carpet burns on her knees
She saw her GP
He said ‘Oh dear me’ -
Next time settle for a quick squeeze
But Pat said I’m always so randy
And so is my boyfriend called Sandy
If he can’t have a lay
At least three times a day
He’ll leave me for that old moo Mandy
'for Pat' with my love xx
05~03~17
Poem Details | by
Teddy Kimathi |
Categories:
funny, funny love, green, humor, humorous, imagery, relationship,
"What do we have for breakfast?"
"Lettuce and cabbage juice!" she
replies excitedly.
She had forced him to change
his blue pajamas to green
pajamas, then he returns
to bed -
the bed had to have green sheets,
green bed cover, and a green
pillow.
"Why do you do this to me?!" he asks.
"I was born in St. Patrick's Day!!!"
she replies.
He can't wait for a green light
to escape a world where
everything he hates is green.
He's afraid he's lost her love in the greenness....
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, humorous, leaving, relationship,
He called me a fat stupid old sow
Said my **** was the size of a cow!
So now we’re not talking
In fact, I am walking
From his life … I’ll go pack my bags now!
N/A in Leaves talking Contest
Submitted to any poem that got an N/A in September
Sponsored by Janice Canerdy
09~16~16
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
change, humorous, relationship,
When Mandy met Randy
Oh boy her legs went bandy
She began to walk like John Wayne …
Looked like she was in a lot of pain
But Mandy had a huge smile on her face
And her nights with Randy kept that smile in place
They have the most incredible sex life -
Randy has stopped sleeping with his wife
Randy’s wife her name is Brandy
Met Mandy’s hubby his name is Sandy
So Mandy and Randy and Brandy and Sandy
Have done a partner swap, oh isn’t that handy!
11~26~16
Poem Details | by
John Hamilton |
Categories:
humorous, imagery, men, relationship, women,
Chivalry is not dead...
Chivalry is not dead...just in a coma, on life support,
waiting for a woman to come along with the defibrillator!
John Derek Hamilton
July 20,2016
Poem Details | by
Bill Baker |
Categories:
friend, funny, heart, love, relationship, romance, romantic love,
looking for love, in all the wrong places
don’t just look at all the pretty faces
look at their heart, make sure they’re real
sometimes a friend is the best deal
quit trying so hard to round the bases
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, relationship, wedding,
Gets book
Takes look
Vast choice
Likes ‘Joyce’
Her smiles
Beguiles
Brown Eyes
Trim thighs
Red lips
Slim hips
Pert '***'
She’ll pass!
HUGE chest …
Impressed!
Ted’s rash
Pays cash
Wants bride
By side
His home
In Rome
Joyce flies
In skies
On plane
From Spain
His ‘bride’
Is WIDE
Huge bum
And Tum
Not young
Ted’s stung
You Lied
He cried
Fat cow…
Leave NOW!
Any poem written in March NOT for a contest
Sponsored by Laura Loo
03~21~17
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, husband, relationship, wife, word play,
I knew an old woman from Greece
Whose whinging words would seldom cease
She’d constantly whine
When drunk on red wine
Her husband’s in dire need of peace!
How much cash does a Grecian earn -
such questions I tried hard to spurn
Her husband went mad
and did something bad -
she’s interred in a Grecian urn!
8/20/19
Poem Details | by
Pat Adams |
Categories:
boy, grandmother, humorous, relationship,
One day my half brother Eric
From Oklahoma, visited us
He brought with him some fake vomit
Just to see who he could disgust!
When he was close to my grandma
He heaved and dropped it on the floor
We laughed at the look on her face
First a giggle, then up to a roar!
Then we saw her sweeping it up
At the trash can she threw it in
Even though we said, "It's not real!"
She shuffled off, and I saw her grin!
Poem Details | by
Sunlite Wanter |
Categories:
humor, relationship,
Hush, my dear mother, say no more
(Shut up your criticizing, out the door)
I know you love me, want my best,
(You’re putting my temper to an acid test)
I’m trying Jenny Craig, I know I’ll win
(Your suggestions are tantamount to starvation sin!)
Hush, my dear mother, say no more.
Poem Details | by
Viv Wigley |
Categories:
humor, relationship,
Why do we have pairs of scissors?
Since that's how they've always been known,
why do we care why we call them a pair
when one is no good on its own?
The same thing applies to our trousers,
just wearing the one would be daft,
just showing one knee, ugly veins you could see
and I don't think I'd cope with the draught.
The same thing applies to my spectacles,
another I couldn't let pass,
since one on its own as a monocle it's known
so why not just call it a glass?
I asked my good Lady's opinion,
she said 'oh, that's quite plain to see,
as a pair we get on, and the jobs all get done
but you'd be useless without me'.
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
baby, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous, relationship,
She was born with cat ears.
So cute! Everyone lied.
Some of us felt them.
They were striped, and furry.
Odd for a human head.
Gray, pink in the middle.
“Adorable!” some of us said.
“Can they be removed?” the new grandmother asked.
Making her daughter-in-law her enemy for life.
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
giggle, goodbye, relationship, smile, word play,
Rescue relationships that are only so-so
~ Take your leave with a 'Pip, pip, Cheerio!'
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
giggle, relationship,
I miss you most when you're not here
So stay away, my lovely dear
Poem Details | by
Duke Beaufort |
Categories:
anger, care, celebration, drug, humor, relationship,
I’ll get to the pills with a twist
The scripts filled by my pharmacist
If there’s a hiccup
Delaying the pick-up
Watch out as I might just get pissed
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
city, humor, relationship,
‘Tis a pity I live in the city
and you in a faraway wood
And yet, everything is for the good
~ You’ve never found me witty
Poem Details | by
Zamreen Zarook |
Categories:
age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,
Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook
God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.
Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.
Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.
Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.
Poem Details | by
A.O. Taner |
Categories:
beautiful, cheer up, computer, desire, destiny, devotion, emotions, encouraging, fantasy, feelings, funny, future, humorous, i love you, love, love hurts, math, meaningful, metaphor, miss you, mystery, passion, relationship, romance, romantic, sad love, school, science, science fiction, silly, social, sweet, teacher, together, true love, truth, uplifting, visionary, word play,
One is love,
Zero is everything else.