Humorous and funny Relationship poems and/or funny poems about Relationship. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Relationship funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Relationship Poems.
computer-internet, humorous, relationship,
Tapped messages go out direct
With phones it's an easy connect
Thoughts from a finger
In cyberspace linger
But touching's too much to expect
12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,
When I grow up, will I still be princess?
Of course, says glowing daddy.
A roll of the queen’s eyes.
humorous, marriage, relationship, technology,
There once was a fellow named Ted
Who recently in church got wed
His wife was in the mood
Laying there in the nude…
He was texting his friends instead!
He was sending text after text
His new wife was feeling quite vexed
'I'm after your bone -
now get off your phone ....
Or I'll leave if I'm under sexed!
A collaboration with Jospeh May
Both Poems inspired by 'And Nothing Else Matters' By Andrea Dietrich
1st May 2016
dance, humorous, relationship, silly,
A petite ballerina named Tina
Seemed serene but she couldn’t be meaner
When she got in the sack
She was on the attack
At the size and the shape of his ‘wiener’
Her suitors would then try to dodge her
After insults on their little todger
But listen up guys
I have a surprise
She’s transgender and she was once Rodger!
New or Old 4 - Poetry Contest Sponsored by Eve Roper
20th March 2016
boyfriend, funny love, girlfriend, psychological, relationship,
How is he?"
"Quite terrible, Miss.
He will not survive the night,
Probably not even the hour."
"What does he have?
It is worse then all of those.
Can I see him?
"I imagine you can, Miss.
But that's the problem.
I'm afraid I can't treat him
Since I can't--"
"Doctor! Please tell me.
I love him.
He's my boyfriend.
We have no secrets."
"Then you may wanna sit down.
Miss, I am sorry to inform you,
Your boyfriend is ailed with
A severe case of nonexistence."
funny love, humorous, relationship, , cute,
Pat swung from a chandelier
Fell off and hurt her cute rear
She gave it a rub
And soaked in the tub
Next time she’ll stay off the beer!
Pat copied the birds and the bees
And had carpet burns on her knees
She saw her GP
He said ‘Oh dear me’ -
Next time settle for a quick squeeze
But Pat said I’m always so randy
And so is my boyfriend called Sandy
If he can’t have a lay
At least three times a day
He’ll leave me for that old moo Mandy
'for Pat' with my love xx
funny, funny love, green, humor, humorous, imagery, relationship,
"What do we have for breakfast?"
"Lettuce and cabbage juice!" she
She had forced him to change
his blue pajamas to green
pajamas, then he returns
to bed -
the bed had to have green sheets,
green bed cover, and a green
"Why do you do this to me?!" he asks.
"I was born in St. Patrick's Day!!!"
He can't wait for a green light
to escape a world where
everything he hates is green.
He's afraid he's lost her love in the greenness....
conflict, humorous, relationship,
Sue decided to send Jim a tweet
She used words that were quite indiscreet
Calling him a fat turd -
(Using another word)
Their romance has taken a back seat!
body, humorous, leaving, relationship,
He called me a fat stupid old sow
Said my **** was the size of a cow!
So now we’re not talking
In fact, I am walking
From his life … I’ll go pack my bags now!
N/A in Leaves talking Contest
Submitted to any poem that got an N/A in September
Sponsored by Janice Canerdy
humorous, imagery, men, relationship, women,
Chivalry is not dead...
Chivalry is not dead...just in a coma, on life support,
waiting for a woman to come along with the defibrillator!
John Derek Hamilton
change, humorous, relationship,
When Mandy met Randy
Oh boy her legs went bandy
She began to walk like John Wayne …
Looked like she was in a lot of pain
But Mandy had a huge smile on her face
And her nights with Randy kept that smile in place
They have the most incredible sex life -
Randy has stopped sleeping with his wife
Randy’s wife her name is Brandy
Met Mandy’s hubby his name is Sandy
So Mandy and Randy and Brandy and Sandy
Have done a partner swap, oh isn’t that handy!
Hush, my dear mother, say no more
(Shut up your criticizing, out the door)
I know you love me, want my best,
(You’re putting my temper to an acid test)
I’m trying Jenny Craig, I know I’ll win
(Your suggestions are tantamount to starvation sin!)
Hush, my dear mother, say no more.
humorous, relationship, wedding,
HUGE chest …
Any poem written in March NOT for a contest
Sponsored by Laura Loo
boy, grandmother, humorous, relationship,
One day my half brother Eric
From Oklahoma, visited us
He brought with him some fake vomit
Just to see who he could disgust!
When he was close to my grandma
He heaved and dropped it on the floor
We laughed at the look on her face
First a giggle, then up to a roar!
Then we saw her sweeping it up
At the trash can she threw it in
Even though we said, "It's not real!"
She shuffled off, and I saw her grin!
humorous, husband, relationship, wife, word play,
I knew an old woman from Greece
Whose whinging words would seldom cease
She’d constantly whine
When drunk on red wine
Her husband’s in dire need of peace!
How much cash does a Grecian earn -
such questions I tried hard to spurn
Her husband went mad
and did something bad -
she’s interred in a Grecian urn!
baby, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous, relationship,
She was born with cat ears.
So cute! Everyone lied.
Some of us felt them.
They were striped, and furry.
Odd for a human head.
Gray, pink in the middle.
“Adorable!” some of us said.
“Can they be removed?” the new grandmother asked.
Making her daughter-in-law her enemy for life.
age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,
Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook
God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.
Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.
Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.
Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.
beautiful, cheer up, computer, desire, destiny, devotion, emotions, encouraging, fantasy, feelings, funny, future, humorous, i love you, love, love hurts, math, meaningful, metaphor, miss you, mystery, passion, relationship, romance, romantic, sad love, school, science, science fiction, silly, social, sweet, teacher, together, true love, truth, uplifting, visionary, word play,
One is love,
Zero is everything else.
body, humorous, people, relationship, sexy, woman, women,
The thorougher the skin peel,
the stronger the sex apeal.
allusion, confusion, dedication, emotions, feelings, first love, funny, funny love, humorous, relationship, social,
No, we weren't a couple one expected.
"What could she be thinking", one reflected.
Yet we held an undefined attraction;
Some subconscious neuron interaction.
After weeks we gathered our composure
Time to face my parents' first exposure.
True, your looks were just a bit off kelter(sic).
Poets often live at homeless shelters.
Mother stiffened, held her throat, and gasped.
Father never moved, in shock perhaps.
Then we vowed to do what we must do.
Freight trains leave at seven, ten and two.
angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love, desire, feelings, giggle, girl, hello, hope, humorous, lust, relationship, romance, sexy, song, sweet, together, uplifting, woman,
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.
So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You;
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
books, education, funny, humorous, life, relationship, school,
A lazy student known as Burt,
To parents and teachers was curt.
With little knowledge,
Flunked out of college;
Played stock market and lost his shirt!
adventure, angst, autumn, business, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, fear, grief, growing up, happiness, happy, hate, health, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, love, on work and working, pain, parody, people, relationship, retirement, sad, satire, school, social, stress, success, sympathy, time, work,
P aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
funny, marriage, men, psychological, relationship, trust, women,
Before the "I do" she must choose
A man that does well in dance shoes
His psyche gives a clue
When employing step two
Ply him to the limit with booze
animal, humorous, men, people, poverty, relationship, sexy,
He's poorer, who rapes