GDPR Cookie Consent by FreePrivacyPolicy
Funny Poems About Relationship or Relationship Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Relationship poems and/or funny poems about Relationship. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Relationship funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Relationship Poems.

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: computer-internet, humorous, relationship,

I can only hand it to you

Tapped messages go out direct
With phones it's an easy connect
Thoughts from a finger
In cyberspace linger
But touching's too much to expect


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,

My Princess

When I grow up, will I still be princess?

Of course, says glowing daddy. 
 
A roll of the queen’s eyes.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, marriage, relationship, technology,

HE DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE - COLLABORATION

There once was a fellow named Ted Who recently in church got wed His wife was in the mood Laying there in the nude… He was texting his friends instead! He was sending text after text His new wife was feeling quite vexed 'I'm after your bone - now get off your phone .... Or I'll leave if I'm under sexed! A collaboration with Jospeh May Both Poems inspired by 'And Nothing Else Matters' By Andrea Dietrich 1st May 2016

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: dance, humorous, relationship, silly,

TERRIFYING TINA

A petite ballerina named Tina Seemed serene but she couldn’t be meaner When she got in the sack She was on the attack At the size and the shape of his ‘wiener’ Her suitors would then try to dodge her After insults on their little todger But listen up guys I have a surprise She’s transgender and she was once Rodger! New or Old 4 - Poetry Contest Sponsored by Eve Roper 20th March 2016

Poem Details | by Tasha Taylor |
Categories: boyfriend, funny love, girlfriend, psychological, relationship,

SCHIZOPHRENIA

"Doctor!
Doctor!
How is he?"

"Quite terrible, Miss.
He will not survive the night,
Probably not even the hour."

"What does he have?
Terminal cancer?
Pneumonia?
Cardiac Arrest?"

"No.
It is worse then all of those.
Even combined."

"Oh no! 
Can I see him?

"I imagine you can, Miss.
But that's the problem.
I'm afraid I can't treat him
Since I can't--"

"Doctor! Please tell me.
I love him. 
He's my boyfriend.
We have no secrets."

"Then you may wanna sit down.
Miss, I am sorry to inform you,
Your boyfriend is ailed with
A severe case of nonexistence."

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: funny love, humorous, relationship, , cute,

CUTIE PATOOTIE BAWDY LIMERICK

Pat swung from a chandelier Fell off and hurt her cute rear She gave it a rub And soaked in the tub Next time she’ll stay off the beer! Pat copied the birds and the bees And had carpet burns on her knees She saw her GP He said ‘Oh dear me’ - Next time settle for a quick squeeze But Pat said I’m always so randy And so is my boyfriend called Sandy If he can’t have a lay At least three times a day He’ll leave me for that old moo Mandy 'for Pat' with my love xx 05~03~17

Poem Details | by Teddy Kimathi |
Categories: funny, funny love, green, humor, humorous, imagery, relationship,

Theory of Greenness

"What do we have for breakfast?"
"Lettuce and cabbage juice!" she
replies excitedly.
She had forced him to change
his blue pajamas to green
pajamas, then he returns
to bed -
the bed had to have green sheets,
green bed cover, and a green
pillow.
"Why do you do this to me?!" he asks.
"I was born in St. Patrick's Day!!!"
she replies.
He can't wait for a green light
to escape a world where
everything he hates is green.
He's afraid he's lost her love in the greenness....

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: conflict, humorous, relationship,

A LITTLE BIRD TOLD ME

Sue decided to send Jim a tweet She used words that were quite indiscreet Calling him a fat turd - (Using another word) Their romance has taken a back seat! 12~23~16

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, leaving, relationship,

LEAVES TALKING

He called me a fat stupid old sow Said my **** was the size of a cow! So now we’re not talking In fact, I am walking From his life … I’ll go pack my bags now! N/A in Leaves talking Contest Submitted to any poem that got an N/A in September Sponsored by Janice Canerdy 09~16~16

Poem Details | by John Hamilton |
Categories: humorous, imagery, men, relationship, women,

Chivalry is not dead

Chivalry is not dead...




Chivalry is not dead...just in a coma, on life support,
waiting for a woman to come along with the defibrillator!




John Derek Hamilton
July 20,2016

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: change, humorous, relationship,

ALL CHANGE

When Mandy met Randy Oh boy her legs went bandy She began to walk like John Wayne … Looked like she was in a lot of pain But Mandy had a huge smile on her face And her nights with Randy kept that smile in place They have the most incredible sex life - Randy has stopped sleeping with his wife Randy’s wife her name is Brandy Met Mandy’s hubby his name is Sandy So Mandy and Randy and Brandy and Sandy Have done a partner swap, oh isn’t that handy! 11~26~16

Poem Details | by Sunlite Wanter |
Categories: humor, relationship,

Mother's Voice


Hush, my dear mother, say no more
(Shut up your criticizing, out the door)
I know you love me, want my best,
(You’re putting my temper to an acid test)
I’m trying Jenny Craig, I know I’ll win
(Your suggestions are tantamount to starvation sin!)

Hush, my dear mother, say no more.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, relationship, wedding,

TED'S MALE ORDER BRIDE FOOTLES

Gets book Takes look Vast choice Likes ‘Joyce’ Her smiles Beguiles Brown Eyes Trim thighs Red lips Slim hips Pert '***' She’ll pass! HUGE chest … Impressed! Ted’s rash Pays cash Wants bride By side His home In Rome Joyce flies In skies On plane From Spain His ‘bride’ Is WIDE Huge bum And Tum Not young Ted’s stung You Lied He cried Fat cow… Leave NOW! Any poem written in March NOT for a contest Sponsored by Laura Loo 03~21~17

Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: boy, grandmother, humorous, relationship,

The Last Laugh

One day my half brother Eric 
From Oklahoma, visited us
He brought with him some fake vomit
Just to see who he could disgust!

When he was close to my grandma
He heaved and dropped it on the floor
We laughed at the look on her face
First a giggle, then up to a roar!

Then we saw her sweeping it up
At the trash can she threw it in
Even though we said, "It's not real!"
She shuffled off, and I saw her grin!



Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, husband, relationship, wife, word play,

A GREEK TRAGEDY


I knew an old woman from Greece Whose whinging words would seldom cease She’d constantly whine When drunk on red wine Her husband’s in dire need of peace! How much cash does a Grecian earn - such questions I tried hard to spurn Her husband went mad and did something bad - she’s interred in a Grecian urn! 8/20/19

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: baby, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous, relationship,

She was Born with Cat Ears

She was born with cat ears.
So cute! Everyone lied.
Some of us felt them.
They were striped, and furry.
Odd for a human head.
Gray, pink in the middle.
“Adorable!” some of us said.
“Can they be removed?” the new grandmother asked.
Making her daughter-in-law her enemy for life.


Poem Details | by Zamreen Zarook |
Categories: age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,

Fake Words

Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook

God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.

Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.

Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.

Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.

Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: beautiful, cheer up, computer, desire, destiny, devotion, emotions, encouraging, fantasy, feelings, funny, future, humorous, i love you, love, love hurts, math, meaningful, metaphor, miss you, mystery, passion, relationship, romance, romantic, sad love, school, science, science fiction, silly, social, sweet, teacher, together, true love, truth, uplifting, visionary, word play,

Binary

One is love, 
Zero is everything else. 



Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: body, humorous, people, relationship, sexy, woman, women,

A skin peel

The thorougher the skin peel, 
the stronger the sex apeal.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by Gene Bourne |
Categories: allusion, confusion, dedication, emotions, feelings, first love, funny, funny love, humorous, relationship, social,

A Boxcar Named Desire


No, we weren't a couple one expected. 
"What could she be thinking", one reflected. 
Yet we held an undefined attraction; 
Some subconscious neuron interaction. 

After weeks we gathered our composure 
Time to face my parents' first exposure. 
True, your looks were just a bit off kelter(sic). 
Poets often live at homeless shelters. 

Mother stiffened, held her throat, and gasped. 
Father never moved, in shock perhaps. 
Then we vowed to do what we must do. 
Freight trains leave at seven, ten and two.


Gene Bourne
03-19-14

.

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love, desire, feelings, giggle, girl, hello, hope, humorous, lust, relationship, romance, sexy, song, sweet, together, uplifting, woman,

Please Help Me, Re-lyric

Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.

Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.

So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You; 
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In  Lust  with  You.


Poem Details | by Bartholomew Williams |
Categories: books, education, funny, humorous, life, relationship, school,

Learning - a Good Investment

A lazy student known as Burt, 
To parents and teachers was curt.
        With little knowledge,
        Flunked out of college;
Played stock market and lost his shirt!


12/22/18

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angst, autumn, business, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, fear, grief, growing up, happiness, happy, hate, health, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, love, on work and working, pain, parody, people, relationship, retirement, sad, satire, school, social, stress, success, sympathy, time, work,

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: funny, marriage, men, psychological, relationship, trust, women,

How to give a guy a premarital suitability exam

Before the "I do" she must choose
A man that does well in dance shoes
His psyche gives a clue
When employing step two
Ply him to the limit with booze

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: animal, humorous, men, people, poverty, relationship, sexy,

The poor

He's poorer, who rapes 
poor apes.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014