GDPR Cookie Consent by FreePrivacyPolicy
Funny Poems About Religion or Religion Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Religion poems and/or funny poems about Religion. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Religion funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Religion Poems.

Poem Details | by Mark J. Halliday |
Categories: chocolate, holiday, humorous, religion, valentines day,

Valentine

Valentinius--
Not much is known about him,
But all girls love him.

Saint Valentine's Feast,
On February fourteenth:
Mostly chocolates!

It would make more sense
To honor Aphrodite...
So then, why don't we?!


Poem Details | by Tomas Vazquez |
Categories: adventure, easter, fear, funny, nonsense, religion,

Twas the Night Before Easter

He knows if you are sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if you've been bad or good.
Zombie Jesus must be staked!

So eat your crackers and wine,
And think that you'll be saved,
But that's not why he's here because
Your brains are what he craves!

He'll never stop his rampage.
Not until he's fully fed,
But nothing satisfies his hunger
Like what rattles in your head.

He's coming down the chimney.
He's underneath your bed.
You think you can outrun him,
But soon you will be dead.

So you better not whisper,
You better not cry
Cuz even a shot between his eyes
Won't stop Zombie Jesus, tonight..

Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: faith, fun, funny, humorous, religion,

Holy Humor

Jehovah's Witness' Door Pamphlets

Pious
Fly-ahs

Catholic Church During Halloween

Scary
Mary

Scrabble Night With Missionaries

Wordy
Clergy

Preacher Owning at Dungeons & Dragons

Master
Pastor

Our Holiness the Dalai Getting a Text From His Ex

Lama
Drama

Sea Anemone Makes Amends

Moral
Coral

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny, religion,

The Hereafter

He asked his flock if they believed in the Hereafter

     Amen, pastor, they said amid much joy and laughter!

          Hereafter, when the plate is passed

               I expect it to be filled up fast

                    For some reason chapel attendance plunged thereafter

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by John lawless |
Categories: god, humor, religion,

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD!!!

Assemble all the gods we’ve built,
stand them in a line, then walk along
the corridor and ponder which is yours,
which is mine?  Dragons, stoics, satyrs,
saints, all stony faced with colored paints.
Some in regal pompous robes others missing
all their clothes.  Fierce and sullen, sour faced
one look to put you in your place, kind and
gentle, bended knee promising to set you free.
Ogre sneers on giant cats, fat and sassy spoiled brats.
These are the gods we have created.
Thank God they never met - and mated.


John G. Lawless

Poem Details | by Colm Sweeney |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Nano Nagle

Sister Nano Nagle,
Always carried a bagel,
She fed to a rabbit,
Kept under her habit.

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: funny, religion,

NEEDY PASTOR

     The pastor was feeling quite blue,
       Pennies on his plate were few,
       So he gave a blazing rendition
     On the church's tithing tradition
 And the pennies on his plate soon grew.

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: humor, religion,

If I go to heaven

If I go 
to heaven,
then what?

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: food, kids, funny, god, philosophy, religion, science,

THE Newton Epitaph

Had a fig Newton 
Dropped it on the floor
God said, Let Newton be! 
And all was right.
Until the Ants

Poem Details | by Colm Sweeney |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa of Calcutta,
Was a bit of a nutter,
She upset the slums, 
When playing the drums.

Poem Details | by Colm Sweeney |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Sister Mary Ward

Sister Mary Ward
Prayed to the Lord,
"Let me leave this ghetto,
And set up Loreto."

Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: angst, funny, health, nature, religion, satire, wifeme, me,

Menopause Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord for no more heat
For if it comes, I’ll be awake
I pray the Lord, don’t make me bake

I’ll even get down on my knees
And pray the Lord “Lord, pretty please”
Please don’t turn my furnace on
My flesh is weak, my patience’s gone

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep 
Since menopause turned on the heat
And it’s no good Lord, counting sheep
If into fire, Lord they leap

So Lord, please grant me this request
And take this fire from my chest
Let someone else be thusly blessed
And let me finally get some rest

Short Poem contest - Honorable Mention finish
Mdailey

written for my wife

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: car, fun, funny, life, religion, religious,

A better warranty

If priests sold used cars and
Used car salesmen sold heaven’s land 
Would you get a better warranty of faith -
In hand

Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor, religion,

Tolled

James was his church’s  bell ringer
Some would listen and linger.
To make the bell louder
James became stouter.
Now he’s known as a real humdinger.

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: faith, funny, humorous, religion,

The gun and god combo

"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill 
And need to own more than just one

A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack

Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor, religion,

Quick Cleric

There was a pastor named Caste
Whose habit of swearing was vast.
Some said his firing was near
But Caste cited nothing to fear
“You see, I repent too _____ fast.”

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Limerick: Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur

Limerick: Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur

Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur*
Set up shop (O!) Brahmin virtue pure
No hungry customers
Knocked past the front shutters
Though brisk business raged at rear door.

•	Brahmin enclave in Chennai, Tamil-Nadu, India.
Brahmins were not vegetarians from antiquity.

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, prejudice, religion,

THE GAY BISHOP

When out for a walk yesterday I bumped into our local padre He wears rainbow dog collars Looks a million dollars He is proud to admit he is gay! 01~14~17 Fiction write which was Inspired by reading about a gay bishop in the UK

Poem Details | by Stanley Ohlswager |
Categories: bible, humanity, humor, religion, satire,

Moses

Moses
In Deuteronomy
Couldn’t deal with masculinity;
Couldn’t deal with femininity, 
So he settled on 
Neuteronomy 

Poem Details | by Paul Curtis |
Categories: funny, religion,

THE WIDOWS MITE

The Vicar’s sermon 
Frank and forthright
Raised the question
Of the widows mite

Quite unnecessary
In my humble view
Because in our parish
There are only two
And I know for a fact
That they both do

Poem Details | by Cindi Rockwell |
Categories: encouraging, farewell, funny, philosophy, religion,

MY PARTING GIFTS

My parting words, which I'll keep quite brief
Never mock another's religious belief
Whether Christian or Muslim, Buddhist or Jew
Only people, not God, would wish harm upon you.

My second point that's of no less worth:
Cherish every living creature ever put on this earth.
Bring no harm to plants, to wildlife or to man,
Live as peacefully coexistent as you possibly can.

And finally, God witness, I share my true Creed,
Which took me a lifetime to consistently heed.
Whenever you seem to do naught but to lose,
Tis time for a binge with both liquor and shoes!!!


First place in contest: "My Parting Gifts"
Judged 9/1/2016

Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor, religion,

Pew Phew

There was a bishop whose sermons were boring  
Seven hours long made members begin snoring.  
The bishop took offense
But he had no defense.
Busted bladders had warped all the flooring.

Poem Details | by Victoria Anderson-Throop |
Categories: faith, funny, life, philosophy, religion,

MEN OF GOD

         MEN OF GOD

Kenya is a Godly nation
Check on any TV station
Starts at dawn and goes all day
Teaching people how to pray

Then at night it's shilling serious
With the watchers drunk –delirious-
If you want the chance to pray
First you get the chance to pay

“Men of God,” my colleague swilled--
“Deserve a special God-rate bill.
When I do a job for them
Charge them twenty not just ten.”


 Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
12/01/12  Juja, Kenya  Africa





Poem Details | by Jim David |
Categories: funny, philosophy, religion, satire,

What Choice??

You insist that I only choose one
Finite human or god in the sun
Man has long pondered this
But as to my wish
I'll face death and have ALL the fun!!