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Funny Poems About Butterfly Rhyme or Butterfly Rhyme Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Butterfly Rhyme poems and/or funny poems about Butterfly Rhyme. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Butterfly Rhyme funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Butterfly Rhyme Poems.

Poem Details | by Mike Gentile |
Categories: food, fun, humor, words,

If You Weren't Such a Nut Meg

She had so many chances
     Yet she kept muffin it up
Butter intentions were good
     Just not much coffee in her cup

Couldn’t make a good decision
     Too much waffling back and forth
Always peppered with doubt
     Should she head south, no maybe north

Still, she was fun at a party
     I would say, hummus a tune
She’d say, Icing because I’m happy
     As the words began to croon

Maybe that’s what’s most important
     Omelet let her off the hook
So she’s always in a pickle
     Doesn’t do things by the book

Once again, I’m gonna help her
     Since she is such a good egg
I said, girl, you’d go much farther
     If you weren’t such a nut Meg



Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: abuse, funny, husband, me,

BLACK and BLUE

BLACK and BLUE

Today I wonder, 
Wonder why?
You hit me in the eye, 
you made me cry.

My eyes are brown,
Now they're black and blue.
Is that what I get for loving you?

My lips are pink, now they're bloody red.
Is that what I get!!!
Do you wish I were dead?

My teeth are white, 
I just lost three, 
Is that what I get over a little fight? 
 
I see a smile underneath,
I see you leaving with the police.
I finally got rid of you.
I can't believe I waited, 
UNTIL I WAS BLACK AND BLUE.
        
 SK

NOTE: True story, I finally did the right thing and called the cops

Poem Details | by Daniel Turner |
Categories: age, humor, life,

Musings - Sucker Punched

I can't recall exactly when
Life swung and hit me on my chin
I"m ashamed to say, it knocked me cold
When I came to, I woke up old

While I was out, I had a dream
Of juggling on a balance beam
While jumping hoops, upon one leg
And one wrong move, cost one nest egg

Was it yesterday or the day before
I had it all but wanted more
When days were long and fears were short
Carouse by day, at night cavort

Yesterday, less was more
It must have been the day before
I wish I'd seen life's sucker punch
'cause now my memory's out to lunch


          by Daniel Turner

Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: humor, love,

Knowin how to keep em

Oh don't think that I ain't seein'
As you roll those purty eyes,'
And my man stands there a gawkin'
Like he'd won some sort of prize.

My ma taught me how to keep em
And to cut you down to size.
For there ain't no man worth havin'
Can resist my apple pies.


Poem Details | by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: how i feel, humor,

THE RULES FOR 8X8

Compose eight lines consult your muse
Subject matter is what you choose
Just eight syllables on each line
Follow these rules and you'll be fine
Pretty pictures you do not need 
Your words only so please take heed
Only plain text no fancy fonts
And that you'll find is what she want's.




Written on 10th November 2018

Poem Details | by Merv Webster |
Categories: funny, me, , memorial,

BERT'S WILL

"A cappuccino would be nice 
And thank you Anne dear friend. 
Since Bert has died I've felt quite lost, 
But time has helped things mend." 
 
"I guess what hurt the most dear Anne 
Was finding in Bert's will; 
To me he never left a thing; 
A truly bitter pill." 
 
"He never left you anything! 
I thought Bert more sincere, 
But is that diamond ring not new 
You're wearing sister dear?" 
 
"Well let me put it this way Anne. 
Bert's will did leave a bit; 
Five grand for a memorial stone 
And this dear Anne ... is it." 



Poem Details | by Maurice Yvonne |
Categories: funny, funny love,

I Hope This Gives You A Good Hearty Laugh



I thought it was kind of romantic
I wasn't being a fanatic
I pulled it out in the cold
You thought that was a bit bold
I wrote it in the snow about you and me
How much I love you I wrote it with my pee

I almost froze it off - it and my left ball
Then you hurt me when you said it was too small
It's like out of the pool
It follows the same rule
Not that I expected you to drool
But you didn't need to be cruel

Now I pull it out again and what I write
Your not going to like - it might cause a fight
Not just what it says about you that is quite biting
But the fact it was your sister who did the writing




Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, nursery rhyme,

JACK AND JILL RE WRITTEN

Jack and Jill went up the hill With thoughts of making love Jack hadn’t got a condom So cut a finger off Jill’s glove The glove was far too small for him And it didn’t fit his todger Now they are proud parents Of a baby they called Rodger! 1st October 2016 Another poem written after being inspired by Ilene Bauer's poem three blind mic

Poem Details | by John Gondolf |
Categories: humorous,

The Fire Inside

Today for lunch I dined on some Tex-Mex cuisine,
jalapeno topped enchiladas and refried beans;
a favorite here in Texas, that can’t be denied,
but this afternoon I am battling the fire inside.

Washed it down with a margarita and wedge of lime,
it was very soothing and delicious at the time.
It gave my head a little buzz and made me cross-eyed,
but now my gut is suffering from this fire inside.

I used to have no trouble eating this spicy food,
but now it causes burning in my stomach to intrude.
And yet I do not worry for in my desk does hide
a jar of Tums to relieve me from this fire inside. 


November 7, 2017
Contest: The Fire Inside
Sponsor: Julie Leigh Rodeheaver

Poem Details | by John Patrick Robbins AKA Gonzo |
Categories: funny

What I Think

Honey it's probaly not best befor I have
a drink.
To look deep in my eyes and ask what 
I think.

Cause Im  far from a romantic and
your far from a thinker.
Short skirt nice legs.
Your a go go dancer  and I just another drinker.

After a few glasses I'll savor  that last drop. 
I'll lose my mind.
And hopefully you'll lose your top.  

have a private party for only two.
well shed more than ambition.
 As i drink outta your shoe.


I'll empty your liquor cabbinet  and you'll keep
my wallet shrinkin.
My dear it dont take a rocket scientist to
figure out what Im thinkin.

Poem Details | by Dan Kearley |
Categories: funny, inspirational, love,

A Gentle Kiss

A gentle kiss, that I really must send To another true, and very dear friend Pucker up babe, it's coming your way And riding a storm, so it should be there today I licked my lips before I blew, so I know it's going to stick But with all the lightning, it might have a little kick So when it hits your lips, it might give off a little spark Now what started off as a gentle kiss, might be leaving you in the dark
*For my sweety* *Elizabeth Wesley* Love,Dannyboy 8-24-12

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: food, funny, humorous, nonsense, romance, sexy, silly,

A Fine Flavor between lines

Is it Love
a simple bowl of ice cream
sweating from the heat
cherries on the top
huddled 'round and looking sweet
two little wooden paddles
pretend that they are spoons
as we sit beneath the stars
in the savor of the moon
your lips are all I see
as they caress them with a passion 
the cherries on your tongue
in a delightful playful fashion 
with our eyes intent and focused
in a stare of solemn trust
Is this ice cream truly love
or is it merely cherry lust

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, insect,

MOSQUITO MAYHEM

Today I met a mosquito It wasn’t very fun She bit me here, she nipped me there (she even bit my bum) But I had the last laugh... I squashed her with my thumb! 1st November 2015

Poem Details | by Black Eyed Susan |
Categories: funny, humorous, journey, poems,

Poems for My Alien Abductors: a Ride into Space

I thought I could wow them with poems from earth
Poems of joy and humor, poems extolling it’s worth
So I laid out poems from Michael, Gail, and me
From Andrea, David, Gwen, and Ilene
From PD, Harry, Mandy, and Chris
From Jack, Craig, Cyndi, and Liz…
For I was sure once they read our beautiful works
They would embrace us and love our humanly quirks!
So last night I taped them all over my skin
Knowing they’d find them if they took me again…

When I woke up, they were gone and I had a reply:
“We enjoyed reading those poems last night, 
And thanks for the names of the earthlings too -
We have many more experiments to do!”


2/7/13
For Michael's boomerang...send your poem for a ride contest

Poem Details | by elizabeth wesley |
Categories: funny, song, song,

Upside Down

If the leaf wore a tree
And the ocean ate fish;
If a flower sucked the bee
And beans ate the dish;
If a beggar was chief
And a boy was a girl
A song would be brief
If a bird wore a curl.
If the grass chewed the cow
And night turned to day
I'm wondering how
Work might be play.
Wouldn't it be great
If the sun was the moon
If early was late
And a line lost its tune.
If all of these things
Were natural to do;
Then a song wouldn't sing
And teeth wouldn't chew.
              ***

Poem Details | by colleen laforme |
Categories: funny, pets, cat, cat,

A Cat With A Knack

I have a cat 
A real fat cat
My cat is all black 
My black fat cat 
It is a cat with a knack
A true fact about my cat
My fat black cat 
She has a knack to catch a rat
My all black cat brought me the rat 
This is why my cat is a fat black cat
So rats watch your back 
From  my cat with the knack
Or you will become a snack for my fat black cat

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: funeral, humorous, money, satire,

WHERE THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A RELATIVE

They crawl out of the woodwork Shedding lots of crocodile tears Grieving for an ancient relative They’ve not visited for many years ‘Auntie Annie’ is barely warm But now you see the relations swarm Waiting for the will to be read They rub their hands with glee Hoping they will be left Lots of lovely money ‘Grieving relatives’ is rubbish!! Some are taking the mick …. These mercenary vultures simply make me sick! 28th January 2017

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

GYM'LL FIX IT

Tasty food passes my lips Fat begins to show Settling on my bum and hips I am feeling low Heading out towards the gym Exercising hard Work out done – I look so slim In my leotard! 04~09~15 Contest: Andrea Dietrich Have you tried a 7/5 trochee? ~awarded 5th place~

Poem Details | by Theresa CW |
Categories: fun, humor,

Tethered, Weathered and Feathered

Tethered, Weathered and Feathered


Whom is that man who got tethered?
Looks like he is overly well weathered
Oh my, he really, really got feathered.

Written: July 17, 2015
Theresa Marie W-C

Poem Details | by delysia hendricks |
Categories: art, humorous,

TATTOOS

A two-legged canvass
in crimsons and blues
dragons ginormous
and suchlike tattoos

Diamonds and rare gems 
that shimmer and shine
flowers on long stems 
with sleek strokes and lines

Exciting ones hid
in crannies and nooks
all that's forbid;
condemned by the Book

Exposed on the outside
pleasing to prudes
on out-of-sight hide
erotica and nudes

DELYSIA HENDRICKS

Poem Details | by Daniel Turner |
Categories: humor,

Two Pairs of Shoes

Fashion hound, that I am
I have shoes for every occasion
One black pair of Adidas
Probably made by some East Asian

I only have one pair of feet
Why would I need two pairs of shoes?
I can only wear one pair at a time
Besides, I'm easily confused

Should you ever find me out with two pair
And you happen to be in a bind
I am the kind of fella that shares
Just remember, the black Adidas are mine.


    July 30 2017

Poem Details | by Richard Lamoureux |
Categories: funny, happy, happy,

Not Mine

I started my morning off with a stretch
Then off to the closet my clothing to fetch

I never noticed the dog in the dark
I stepped on his tail he started to bark

That woke my wife I think she is mad
If mom's not happy everyone's sad

Once she got up she woke up our son
He never gets up till the crack of one

Now here we sit the thee of us grumpy
Eating this porridge that's warm and lumpy

I look in my wallet for my lottery ticket
Check the numbers while I eat my bisquet

I know your thinking that maybe I won
Then this stupid poem would finally be done

Sorry you are wrong just one more line
I am so so happy this life isn't mine

Poem Details | by Richard Lamoureux |
Categories: funny,

Best Medicine

If laughter's the best medicine
I think I've had an overdose
It's coursing through my body
From my head down to my toes

I'm worried about my ***
They say you can laugh it off
I'm building up pressure
Like a giant Molotov

I am taken to the funny farm
They think I've gone nuts
I started seeing animals
Walking around without butts

How is it possible
It seems like a bad joke
I'm laughing so hard
I start to cough and choke

I guess in the end
I really did overdose
It didn't quite kill me
But it really came close

So control your laughter
Maybe one chuckle's enough
That dang old funny
is powerful stuff



written by: Richard Lamoureux
Smile you're on Candid Camera Contest

Poem Details | by Emma Anonymous |
Categories: children, funny,

Whistle worry

I cannot whistle
It's sad but true
I try and try
yet no sound comes through

My lips I purse
My teeth I grit
I try real hard
but blow out spit

Poem Details | by Darlene Gifford |
Categories: humor, poetry, writing,

My Muse Alarm

I set my morning muse alarm for 2am.
But instead, it went off at three.
"Wake up!" he said, "It's me."

I reached for pen and paper. "Stop  
fumbling, and turn on the light," he said.
"Or, you'll never be able to read 
what I'm putting in your head."

"Why are you being so bossy?" I asked.
"Sorry," he said. "But I'm in a hurry
to get to the next poet's bed."