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Funny Poems About Sick or Sick Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Sick poems and/or funny poems about Sick. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Sick funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Sick Poems.

Poem Details | by Donal Mahoney |
Categories: heart, sick,

Funny as a Heart Attack

A group of older men gather
once a week to talk about life 
after a heart attack.

Old Len chews tobacco still 
and tells jokes in a voice so low 
no one can hear the punch line. 

Another man asks Len  
to talk louder so they all 
can hear the punch line.

That’s when they discover
Len's been telling the same joke 
at every meeting, over and over.

The joke’s about a loan officer  
who lends a man $10,000 for a 
face lift that turns out so good

the lender can’t find him.
With heart attacks in common, 
the men yell “Tell it, again, Len!” 


Donal Mahoney


Poem Details | by Freddie Robinson Jr. |
Categories: humor, people, satire, sick,

Quit Yer Bellyachin'


Stop complainin’ ‘bout how much
yer stomach hurt
It’s yer own fault that yer feelin’ that way
Got a heavy Ding Dong diet
of cream-filled, empty truth lies
Low-cal info givin’ ya no energy news blues
Creatin’ irregular bowel movements
that keeps sendin’ ya ta da bathroom
It’s yer own double dog fault,
so quit yer bellyachin’
Just pop a truth pill that gives the fizz ...
suck the liquid medicin’ down,
drink all of it
And change yer diet, change it quick
Otherwise, yer gonna keep gettin’ sick

Poem Details | by Ella Weiss |
Categories: 7th grade, art, death, earth, faith, funny love, sick,

COVID-19 is Everywhere

"Its corona time" they said
I really hope I don't wind up dead
Many people have such as Tom Hanks
He's been tested. It wasn't a prank

Stores are running out of Purell and toilet paper
COVID-19 is like a game and we are all desperate players

Wash your hands and say a prayer
Becasue coronavirus is everywhere

Poem Details | by Gwendolen Song |
Categories: kids, funny, imagination,

The Sick Zebra

A zebra looked in the mirror one day

His stripes were fading from black to green

His eyes looked sallow and his stomach upset

Like when he ate too much candy on Halloween


He took some brown paint and covered his green stripes

Remembering the color wheel from third grade art

Brown plus green equals a return to black

He looked in the mirror and said, “Gee whiz! I’m smart!”


Written by Gwendolen Rix
5-20-14
For my grandson Sebastian


Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: anxiety, funny, sick,

Oh Me, Oh My

Oh me! Oh my!
I think I'm going to die!
I bumped my head,
I'll soon be dead!
Oh me, oh me, oh my!

Oh dear! Oh dear!
I know my end is near!
I coughed, I sneezed,
and then I wheezed!
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

What's that you say?
I'm going to be okay?
You haven't heard
a single word.
I'm at death's door today!

(This is a parody of someone I know who gets overly dramatic
when she doesn't feel well)
6/16/15

Poem Details | by Shirley Candy |
Categories: humorous, me, sick,

A Patient and A Nurse

I'm hospitalized and there was a nurse named Jane
She said I need plenty of sleep for my health attain
She took samples of my urine and then replaced the infusion
She gave me my medicine and always checked on my condition
And every time I tried to sleep, her present made me awake again!




Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny, sick,

Six Simpering Thick-skinned Shifty Spinster Sisters

Six simpering thick-skinned shifty spinster sisters stiffly sit
Stitching sticky skid-marked scivvies of sixty sick stingy sailors.
Six sick from stitching scivvies of sixty sick scrimping sailors
Stickle over nickels; those insistent six thick-skinned spinster tailors!


For the Alliteration Contests of Barry Stebbings

Poem Details | by Dave Collins |
Categories: anger, conflict, humorous, sick, wisdom,

Diamonte Dumbmonte

Idiocracy
Irrevelant, trivial
Idiot, imbecile, moron, bastardo
Falling, vomitting, succombing
Unbecoming, reticient
Dead

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny, health

Sea Sick


I wanted to go fishing in the ocean
Forgot the result of constant motion
You wouldn't believe
How much I heaved
Would give gold for a nausea potion


For the "Fishing" contest.

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: candy, humor, humorous, satire, sick, silly, word play,

Give Us A Lickin'

Arianna Grande  (FYI The Actress was recently caught licking an un-purchased donut in a store) 

You can lick my Butter finger
You can lick my Baby Ruth
And even all three musketeers 
If you're in the mood
Mr. GoodBar you can lick it
Oh Henry, lick'em too
But there's one thing little Ari
You must never ever do

You can touch your tongue to Wonka
Swap spit with Almond joy               
Run your lingua 'cross my mounds
Which I'm sure you've done before
Rub saliva on Godiva
You can slime my Hershey's S'mores
But never ever Ari
Touch a Donut in my store  

Poem Details | by Al Juman |
Categories: car, humor, lust, romance, sexy, sick, youth,

Said my car - Erotic


Said my car,
Beautiful,
drive me in lover boy,
Slowly, Slowly,
Owe-wee
This is so congenial. 
Let me savor every moment. 
So tight you are revving every muscle in me.
Love it!
sweating a sheen on me,
like a fresh coat of wax.
Ah, Ah, Aha-a! 
This is ecstatic,
keep me parked right here.
Don't move a squint.
Wow I am in Lovers  Lane.
I mean every car would want to park here
but this Garage is mines.
12/3/2013       © A. Juman The "said" Poet
Type In (A. Juman) For A relaxing and astonishing moment with all my POEMS

Poem Details | by Lee Leon |
Categories: allegory, animal, blue, farm, funny, recovery from, sick,

Poor Ewe

When you're a sheep and feel unwell, it's also often true
When dipped into your medicine, you come up feeling blue
Blue from your woolly noggin-lid, down to your woolly socks
And inside from your woolly brain, down to your woolly hocks

So when you are a poorly sheep, and feel in poorly form
You're gonna feel off-colour, 'cos off-colour is the norm
And both insides and outsides are tinged with shades of blue
There's only one thing left to say, and that will be, "Poor Ewe!"


Poem Details | by Rhoda Tripp |
Categories: dark, eulogy, funny, giggle, humor, prison, scary,

Sick, Dark, and Scary Humor

That woman you sext...
Her husband got out early.
Ten years for murder?



Entered in contest for
Brian Strand
2 or 3 line poem.
Written 11/25/17





Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, health,

When I Was Sick

The Land Of Counterpane
Written by: Robert Louis Steveson

"When I was sick and lay a- bed
I had two pillows at my head
All my toys beside me lay
To keep me happy all the day"...Quoted..Robert Louis Stevenson

When I  Was Sick 
By Sara Kendrick

If I have missed reading you lines
Or failed to comment all the time
I have been blowing nose
And coughing crud and my breathing doesn't flow...  
I sound like the evening whistle
When it is about out of steam
A wheeze so loud it messes up my dreams
Maybe in a day or two
I will be able to get back to you

Poem Details | by Matthew Wetter |
Categories: body, funny, hurt, sick,

Parasites

Bugger off Shingles!
Go away fleas! I don't need
Itchy skin disease!

Poem Details | by Nigel Fawcett |
Categories: funny, health

word morph - WELL to SICK

last night I really didn't feel quite WELL
I tried to shake it off with all my WILL
with window open, hands upon the SILL
I deeply breathed fresh air that felt like SILK
which did the trick for I'm no longer SICK

Poem Details | by Eve Roper |
Categories: allusion, funny, sick, song,

Dressed In Pink Singing A Song of Harmony

singing a song of harmony
cheerfully sung eternally
covered in pink so perfectly
my silly   desire of tenacity

cheerfully sung eternally
from just drinking herbal tea
my silly   desire of tenacity
pink is all I wore for certainty
 
from just drinking herbal tea
rushed to the  emergency
pink is all I wore for certainty
embarrassed I’ll be for  eternity

rushed to the  emergency
covered in pink so perfectly
embarrassed  I’ll be for  eternity 
singing a song of harmony

7/22/2016
A Monorhyme and Pantoum form with no perfect meter  

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: dog, feelings, health, humorous, sick,

A good nose

A dog's, if not a doc's, good nose 
is good enough to diagnose.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous, sick,

Limerick: Once a sick Sikh in a great hurry

Limerick : Once a sick Sikh in a great hurry

Once a sick Sikh in a great hurry
Went to see a doctor after (a) hot curry
He hurried back mid-way
You know why so don’t bray
Now (he) sees doctors only when merry.
                               or
Since (he) sees doctors under a lorry
                               or
Now he sees proctors I’m so sorry.

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: hate, humor, irony, nursery rhyme, sick, silly, sports,

Sports

Sports, sports, 
I love sports
About as much
As venereal warts.

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: food, funny, music, parody, sick, silly, song,

Do You Want To Eat A Peanut

You'll never know how much I gag on peanuts
You'll never know how rotten peanuts are.

Listen. 
Do you want to eat a peanut
Do you promise not to heave. 
Woh oo Woo oh 
Closer. 
Let me stuff one in your ear
So that you can hardly hear
I'm in love with Tums oo oo oo oo.

I've eaten peanuts for a week or two
Don't chew them up they come out in your poo

Listen.
Doo Wah Doo. Do you want to eat a peanut
Doo Wah Doo. Do you promise not to heave. 
Woh oo Woo oh 
Closer. 
Doo Wah Doo. Let me stuff one in your ear
Do Wah Doo. So that you can hardly hear
I'm in love with Tums oo oo oo oo
Oo oo oo oo oo.

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: animal, body, health, humorous, men, sick, word play,

His ***

He whose *** is for sales 
knows well why his *** ails.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by Lewis Raynes |
Categories: humorous, sick, silly,

A sick confession

I have a confession, a truth to be told,
A secret that I can now say.
A fact of my life that I’ve always lived with,
A secret I have hidden away.

And that is that I binge every day,
I fill till I’m full, till I bloat.
Then, like clockwork, when I’m simply too full,
It exits along my tarred throat.

And I emit every colour of fruit and veg,
I heave up all sorts of fresh meat.
This purge occurs every day about noon,
Then again at six, all over the street.

There’s vans and trucks and cars and utes,
They leave me empty by dark,
But then they return the very next day,
To me, their shopping car park.

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: boat, funny, humorous, ocean, sea, sick, silly,

My Rare Disorder

I have a rare disorder that causes me to see everyone in the cast of any submarine movie as Don Rickles. Every bloody person is Don Rickles. Once saw a submarine movie wherein a woman was saved from a sinking ship and the captain on the submarine made love to her and they both were Don Rickles.

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: body, death, food, funny, humor, murder, sick,

I Eat You

I eat you, I eat you, I eat you so well
I fart you, I fart you, you surely do smell
I **** you, I **** you, and now as I spoil it
I flush you, I flush you, around-down the toilet.

I never did like you, that no longer matters
For all that remains are a few greasy splatters
I killed, cooked, and ate you; you lacked a rescuer
And now you are wending your way through the sewer.