Humorous and funny Sorry poems and/or funny poems about Sorry. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Sorry funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Sorry Poems.
Poem Details | by
Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories:
humor, mom, sorry,
If I weren't afraid, I'd...
Have pulled that red lipstick
Out of my purse
And with cover
Of sister and cousin
Surrounding your coffin
Replaced that drab pink coral
With your trademark red
We knew it wasn't a colour
You'd have been caught in dead
9/11/2019
Poem Details | by
Flippant She-Creature |
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, lost love, love, mother, parody, romance, satire, sorry,
Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent
Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.
But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.
Poem Details | by
Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories:
angst, confusion, depression, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, introspection, life, love, passion, people, philosophy, romance, social, sorry
not sure how she got here
only know she needs to leave
underneath the stranger
my arm numb; asleep,
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry
princess of night
exposed by light.
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess.
bed broken
along with my will.
I swore never again;
the lie is half the thrill.
~JSLambert
Poem Details | by
Joyce Johnson |
Categories:
funny
I’m sorry that I burned the pie.
I’ve tried so hard to fix it.
I would have made another but
It is so hard to mix it.
I’ve scraped it and I’ve dusted it
And covered it with cream.
I hope it will be tasty and
A true pie lover’s dream.
So if you squint a little bit
When tasting that first bite,
You’ll hardly know that it was burned,
Though tasting scorched, a mite.
I was so tired of hearing of
Your mother’s perfect pies
That I thought I’d make one better
And cut hers down to size.
So now just take a little bite,
I’ll give you points for tryin’
And if you tell me it is good,
I’ll give you more for lyin’
lWon first place
Poem Details | by
Jessica Wheeler |
Categories:
creation, daughter, fun, funny, humor, mother, sorry,
No pushing or breaking of water
It was a c-section that brought her
But this is about
What wouldn’t come out
A poop just as big as my daughter!
Perhaps it was pain medication
To clog up and cause constipation
Nurse said I must show
They won’t let me go
Till poop- there it is- defecation!
Determined, I pulled an all-nighter.
That turd was a hell of a fighter.
And then with my tush,
Turns out I did push!
And poof! I was seven pounds lighter!
Poem Details | by
Heather Fleming |
Categories:
funny, happiness, sorry, me,
I borrowed your favorite pencil
and broke it right in half
I'm sure you really needed it
yet now its in the trash
I know I should have asked you
it just didn't cross my mind
forgive me please for I was angry
and the snap of the wood sounded pleasant
and made me feel like smiling
Poem Details | by
Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories:
humor, smile, sorry,
Time for weekend humor
Do you need a good laugh ?
All cultures have humor
In an attempt to be funny
He always laughs at his own jokes
They was hand picked for maximum laughter
The audience does not laugh
09.06.2017
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Poem Details | by
Dan Keir |
Categories:
adventure, angel, beautiful, business, childhood, death, education, fantasy, farewell, freedom, friendship, funeral, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, health, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, nostalgia, on writing and words, parody, passion, patriotic, peace, people, philosophy, slam, social, song, sorrow, sorry, spiritual, time, woman,
Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.
Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Thatcher’s dead.
Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Thatcher’s dead.
Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Thatcher’s dead.
Poem Details | by
Dan Keir |
Categories:
adventure, angst, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, education, faith, farewell, funny, humorous, imagination, introspection, lonely, loss, lost, memory, pain, parody, passion, people, places, retirement, sad, science fiction, sorrow, sorry, space, star, teacher, time, travel, tribute, visionary,
Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.
Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.
Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.
Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.
My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.
Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
Poem Details | by
Anthony Scandrick Ii |
Categories:
anniversary, baby, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, freedom, goodbye, graduation, growing up, happiness, hope, humorous, lonely, lost love, love, mystery, passion, satire, slam, sorrow, sorry, success, suicide, teen, thank you, uplifting, write,
You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.
Poem Details | by
Raven Howell |
Categories:
appreciation, childhood, food, giggle, humor, humorous, sorry,
More nutritious
Than a bean,
I do appreciate
Your green,
But raw,
You are extremely crunchy,
Roasted,
Just a mushy-munchy.
Steaming
Makes you awfully wet.
Sorry -
‘Still don’t like you yet!
Poem Details | by
John Heck |
Categories:
funny
E.T.
Kind-hearted alien
asked his friend: “Can I phone home?”
Elliott nervously replied: “Will it be a collect call?”
Poem Details | by
James Williams |
Categories:
humor, sorry, truth,
I owe you a smile
If on today you see me down
Just know that I’m not myself right now
I’m just not having a good day
So please don’t get in my way
If I turn around and snap at you
It’s probably because I’ve already warned you
Today I’m not feeling like myself
So please go bother someone else
I’m sorry if you don’t like my attitude
I’m really trying hard not to be rude
But the wrinkle in my forehead should be a sign
That today is not your day and neither mine
So let me cool down and you try again in a little while
And remember this… “I owe you a smile.”
“The Simple Words”
Poem Details | by
Kara Mclain |
Categories:
confusion, funny, school,
I despise sonnets, and they despise me.
So obnoxious with their fourteen line rhymes.
I’d rather be attacked by a banshee
Than be subjected to my mind’s rhyme-crimes.
Fingers tapping to the ten syllables.
Dead to the iambic pentameter.
Now I’m praying for the running of bulls.
A better poet would make my freezer.
o, I know Shakespeare would be so ashamed
To read the words that lay upon this page.
They do not stand to the man they are named.
A Shakespearean sonnet on rampage.
I know the man himself would not agree,
But thank God for rhyming dictionary.
Poem Details | by
Anthony Scandrick Ii |
Categories:
angel, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, daughter, death, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, faith, fear, forgiveness, freedom, friendship, girlfriend, grief, happiness, hate, heaven, hope, humorous, imagination, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, passion, peace, relationship, romance, romantic, sorrow, sorry, stress, sympathy, uplifting, heart, hate, hate, heart,
When you're hurt inside,
And there's no where to hide,
And there's no one on your side,
And it's killing your pride,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,
When your heart is chocking,
The heavy words never spoken,
The things that hurt you inside,
When love has died,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,
When your heart is gone,
From being alone,
And it beats a solemn tone,
When you're cold inside,
It's only a short ride,
Never take hate outside
Poem Details | by
Darlene Gifford |
Categories:
desire, god, humor, sorry, sweet,
From the top of my head
to the tip of my toes
there's nothing about me,
that God does not know.
He knows I am weak,
but in Him I am strong.
And what ever I do,
He sees my rights
and He sees my wrongs.
God, You know I'm not perfect,
and this cookie I eat,
tastes so delicious,
fresh baked and sweet.
Help me, God, to control
my diabetes today.
And give me a love
for more veggies, I pray.
(P.S., God, Can you make them taste sweet?
Like the cookies so tempting that I love to eat.)
.
Poem Details | by
Julian Bohan |
Categories:
betrayal, bible, character, conflict, easter, faith, farewell, giggle, history, paradise, people, power, psychological, religious, sorry, storm, travel, tribute, trust, women,
URAN'S WILLY
Taking sides in discussions holily
About whether Uran used his willy
Means you're trapped in their game -
Either side is the same:
**** distracts, cash departs, crowd stays silly.
Story:
http://www.sloveniatimes.com/scandals-in-the-slovenian-church-to-go-on
The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand interprets important Slovenian affairs for the non-Slovene speaking world.
www.maria.si
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
funny
His client had a leg amputation
Oops! Wrong leg due to miscalculation
His client wanted to sue
But as the attorney knew
No leg to stand on for litigation
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 2 in Carolyn Devonshire's "Lawyer Limerick" Contest - August 2010
(Last line based on the old saying "You Ain't Got A Leg To Stand On")
Poem Details | by
Joyce Johnson |
Categories:
funny, candy, sorry,
“A penny for your thoughts,” he said.
I took his petty penny.
Without a thought within my head,
I did not give him any.
I took his pretty penny
And added it to mine.
I did not give him any,
On candy I could dine.
I added it to mine,
Laughed at him when he cried.
On candy I could dine.
I wasn’t sorry I had lied.
Laughed at him when he cried
Without a thought within my head,
I wasn’t sorry I had lied.
“A penny for your thoughts,” he said.
Poem Details | by
Alexandra Caruso |
Categories:
adventure, allegory, angst, animals, confusion, cowboy-western, devotion, fantasy, funny, imagination, inspirational, philosophy, romance, slam, social, sorry, thank you, uplifting, war, wedding,
Take me there
I don't care
Touch my hair
Eat this pear!!!
I am bare
Want to share?
Do you care?
I am bear
I'll let you stare
Don't go there
By the chair
Or on that stair?
Your skin is fair
You look like Cher
Come to my lair
But pay my fare
Drippity drip drip
Poem Details | by
Jean Murray |
Categories:
giggle, i am, natural disasters, sorry,
Consternation
On my face.
Now I
Grasp the
Realisation.
All the
Times I
Uttered the word.
Little did
I realise until
Only on re reading I
Never got the
Spelling right .
I am a
Dittering fool.
I never
Once used
The spelling tool.
Poem Details | by
Courtney Courtney |
Categories:
childhood, funny, happiness, health, hope, parody, people, sad, sorry, pain, day, me,
Cough Drops and applesauce
Is what the doctor gave to me
I don't mean to complain
But in my side
I feel a great big pain
And doctors orders I'll oblige
It is bad enough
Every day is getting tough
And now I am just out of luck
Stuck with nothing but a cough
It's been driving me insane
Living here in all this pain
It has made my life a very hard thing
I really don't want to complain
But I've been left out in the pouring rain
And tomorrow is another day
Same to come, same old way
Poem Details | by
Kadmiel Kweifio- Okai |
Categories:
funny,
Grey was his wig and angry was his mood
On that fateful day I served him his food.
The sudden silence in his court was deafening and
Oh, it remained so till the very end.
He wasn't prepared to listen to me
Even when all things proved my innocence.
Lawyer Hammond, thanks for making him now see.
Later, I'll apologize for saying the first letters vertically!
Poem Details | by
Knowledge Hill |
Categories:
adventure, confusion, funny, life, people, places, social, sorry, urban,
nice clothes
nice shoes
couple of girls
but i got a main boo
nice car
on 22's
lift kit on it
it's another 4in boost
hop out
see my homies
it ain't my forte
but all them smoking
big whip
car full
been drinkin since 1
n yet we still partying
fitted cap
yankee logo
girls say im fly
now they reaching for my "you know"
wake up
hangover
a hurricane went through the house
thanks mr Hugo
team liqour
super sick
i know i was texting
but dont remember this chick
she mad
im laughing
she says im an ******* anyways
i say i'm sorry but it was just another drunk day
Poem Details | by
Brittany Andrews |
Categories:
confusion, death, depression, faith, family, food, forgiveness, funeral, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, hope, life, loss, lost love, love, mystery, peace, people, sad, sorry, space, sympathy, teenfear,
I RUN from FEAR.
I HUNT for FEAR.
I HIDE in FEAR.
I FIGHT cause of FEAR.
I'm FAR from you.
I'm SCARED cause of you.
You're the FEAR that I HUNT.
You're the FEAR that I FIGHT.
You're the FEAR that SCARED me for LIFE.
*Comment if you have any thought and if you like it. oh and some of the poems i write arn't
always my feelings. their some times just to get through other people so they can have
something to read that just fit's them.*
-Angel4eva23