Humorous and funny Sweet poems and/or funny poems about Sweet. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Sweet funny poems!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
humorous, marriage, relationship, romance,
Sweet Nothings In His Ear
She whispered sweet nothings in his ear
He seemed so pleased, she’d nothing to fear
So odd, thought she, he never liked this before
And now with his smile, he clearly wants more…
If you can keep a secret, dear reader, I’ll tell you, says he
I’ve gone deaf as a doorpost; nothing irritates me
I just keep this silly smile glued to my face
Nod my head sometimes too, just in case…
Written by
Kp Nunez
Categories:
humorous,
Such a Sweet Sorrow
(WITH APOLOGIES TO SHAKESPEARE)
Oh farting is such a sweet sorrow
“I’m sorry but that’s not my barrow!”
My seatmate’s nose in the air,
I act dumb and even glare~
but just then I give another blow.
-Penned due to my irrepressible urge to respond to Jan and BL's posts-
KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
07 March 2015
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
funny, passionmay, me,
Cheep Sweet Talk
"I've loved thee since I first saw thee as an adorable egg in thy nest!
Wouldst that thee would deign to marry me and put my pining heart at rest!
I hold thy delicate talon in my beak awaiting with bated breath,
For thine answer to my plea to be my beloved until parted by death!"
"All that I have to offer thee is a cozy nest in yon apple tree,
Safe from prowling cats and mean little kids to raise a family!
Please give me thy answer ere the sun sinks slowly in the west,
That I may begin to build thy dream home, thy cozy little nest!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Honorable Mention in Francine Roberts' "Enough" Contest - May 2011
Written by
Michael Wise
Categories:
family, food, horse, humorous,
My Sweet Aunt Mabel
There is my sweet Aunt Mabel
sitting across the table
ever since her divorce
she eats like a horse
so we put her up in a stable
Written by
M. L. Kiser
Categories:
animal, cat, humor, pets, poems, poetry
Sweet Slumber of Nip-Laden Dreams
Ah, sweet slumber of nip-laden dreams;
the milk of mother moon bestowed,
a blessed drink and lactose-free
to this mine humble, feline throat.
Running freely through outer space,
I touch upon thy blessed universe.
My home of emerald and lapis lace,
is where in I lay in furred repose.
Chasing neon rainbows in nebulae bright,
my dreams are filled with gold doubloons.
I’ll spend them on treats and nip-delight,
and chase away any greedy tycoons.
A feline black as obsidian night,
in a home filled with human love;
among the faeries and tree sprites,
mind flies just like the doves.
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
animal, family, giggle, home, sweet, uplifting
A Mouse Or A Mountain
Growing up,
I was the runt of the litter.
My siblings called me Cute,
because I was the youngest one.
It was very hard growing up as a little mouse,
gray with tiny white spots.
I saw myself as big as a mountain,
then felt that mountain move inside of me.
Growing and learning is what I did,
then one day I was all grown up.
I wondered,
where would the world take me?
I found myself living on top,
yes on top of a mountain.
I am no longer the runt,
I am no longer called Cute.
Living on top of this mountain,
is my home.
The mouse and the mountain,
now has become one.
Written by
Bobby May
Categories:
funny,
Jan Is As Sweet As Honey
JAN writes her poems
With humor and care
She brings out laughter every where
Her humor is beyond compare
Her sounds are as sweet as honey
She makes me laugh in my tummy
She lives on an isle with men
No wonder her humor
Is so Funny
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
funny, happiness, lost love, passion, people, romance
My Sweet Camel Toe, Where'D You Go
Where'd you go?
oh where did you go
my precious camel toe?
played me like a fiddle
with your bubbly middle
you're such a skanky hoe
but I love you so
camel toe
camel toe
we had magic
we had fire
purple sweatpants my desire
come back camel toe
victory! camel toe
you're the villain
you're the winner
with your puffy
wedgied center
camel toe
camel toe
you're my sassy hoe
you're my Christmas snow
gone like cold wind blows
with your return
my member grows
I miss my camel toe
baby
where'd you go?
sweaty sweetie
camel toe
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
fun, humor, sweet,
- Deep Serious Thoughts -
Grandfathers teeth
are strange,
says Jimmy
who is five years
They come out
of his mouth at night
He looked quite
stunned and shocked
Of all things ...
he gets a little scared
for what could happen
With his mouth full
of chocolate
A-L Andresen 15.06.2015 :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
funny, smile, sweet,
- Haiku X 75 - Pigs -
A life like a pig
Warm bath in my pink teacup
Is full of regret
24.02.2016
A-L Andresen :)
Written by
Shanity Rain
Categories:
candy, change, desire, food, kids, funny
Sweet Carmel
The taste of homemade Carmel so sweet/ everyone I know desires the treat.
After one night in the kitchen covered/ half the pan gone, next morning discovered.
Is it my beagle Lily whom loves any food? / she seems in a hyper beagle mood.
I know I heard a squeak in the night / a dream ? No, for low was the kitchen light.
T'was my husband, for he can't resist/ soft , buttered brown sugar , a Vanilla twist.
Written by
Carlisle Turner
Categories:
chocolate, food, funny, sweet,
Sweet Pleasure
I slowly cut a corner off my prize
No cause to hurry, see I at this time
To savor, such a treat sees no despise
If one knows not this joy, that is a crime
The layers compliment this god-like cream
The smooth caress of chocolate is joy
The combination is much like a dream
My senses it so fully does employ
I do not need a house or any clothes
My mind is full of thoughts only to know
When next taste I the sweetness of my rose
But I would wait a hundred years of snow
If love is like this sweet patisserie,
I think my life consists of it and me.
Written by
John Trusty
Categories:
humorous, travel,
Sweet Or Salty Crocodile
Here’s the best thing you should know,
if ever to Australia you go.
Don’t ever wind up as a feast,
for this voracious reptilian beast.
For your reasoning surely would be faulty,
if you ever “muck about” with a “SALTY”.
And don’t think he was born with a tooth that’s “SWEET”.
To him you are just another piece of meat.
So if you must visit his polluted “Billabong” retreat,
make sure the only thing he swallows is what you excrete!
For the Sweet or Salty contest
Written by
Darlene Gifford
Categories:
desire, god, humor, sorry, sweet,
God Knows I Ate a Cookie
From the top of my head
to the tip of my toes
there's nothing about me,
that God does not know.
He knows I am weak,
but in Him I am strong.
And what ever I do,
He sees my rights
and He sees my wrongs.
God, You know I'm not perfect,
and this cookie I eat,
tastes so delicious,
fresh baked and sweet.
Help me, God, to control
my diabetes today.
And give me a love
for more veggies, I pray.
(P.S., God, Can you make them taste sweet?
Like the cookies so tempting that I love to eat.)
.
Written by
Doris Culverhouse
Categories:
food, funny, holiday,
Sweet Potato
Aroma baking
Pleasure making
Peanutbutter cake
Don't want no fake
Souffle' today
Tomorrow no weigh
Cheesecake crumb
Pour me some rum
Written by
Kelly Deschler
Categories:
birthday, fun, girl, happy, humor, sweet
For the Birthday Girl
The candles are aglow on your birthday cake,
where a wish awaits for only you to make,
a cascade of confetti thrown by many a friend,
balloons and flowers, gifts and parties without end,
a year filled with new smiles and never a tear,
and with many heartfelt words of good cheer,
like those I have written right here on the page,
a happy birthday to you no matter what your age!
I wish you the happiest of birthdays, Linda! :)
Written by: Kelly Deschler
For Poet Destroyer's "Birthday Girl" contest.
(Yet, I meant every word of it!)
Written by
Jackson Labaugh
Categories:
beautiful, hate, humor, metaphor, political, sweet
Haiku For Alphabet Soup
My alphabet soup,
it is getting very cold,
my microwave broke.
Written by
Brian Strand
Categories:
childhood, funny, nostalgia, chocolate, , sweet love
Pocket Money Day
Nose pressed flat upto the glass,
Pockets tinkling full of brass;
Oblong jars,row on row
Candy -filled,to over flow.
Mintoes,chews and Pontefract cakes,
Limes and milk chocolate flakes;
Jelly beans and sweet love-hearts,
A few of each ,just to start.
Toffee whirls and butterscotch,
Long liquorice laces,all top-notch;
Aniseed balls,French bonbons,
Available now without coupons.
Sugared almonds and white mice,
Vanilla fudge,a penny a slice!
Just for starters a chocolate ice,
As it's going at half-price.
Barley sugar and a sherbert straw,
The shop bell tinkles as I close the door;
Is that th time! I'll have to skate,
Back into school,I can't be late.
Written by
Thabiso Xulu
Categories:
2nd grade, humorous, i love you, student, sweet, teacher
Teachers
Who taught the world to read?
Not for money but a good deed
Taught us how to spell
And picked us when we fell
Taught us how to count
Told us the world was round
Standing in front of creatures
All with different features
Preaching in sense of teaching
Helping reach dreams that need reaching
Doctors and lawyers
Even taught the rock stars
If the world were fair
Would have seen talent so rare
I love my teacher
Written by
Poet. Undertaker
Categories:
humor,
Sweet-Talk From Old Salt
Once there was a man called Mike & Irk
got his sweetheart “sweet tooth” pop rocks,
Bon-bon, candy, lollipop, toffee
Wonka laffy taffy cherry
Bloody how could the “old salt” indulge in sweet-talk?
Written for the Contest "Sweet or salty?" by my friend Poet.Andrea Dietrich
Written by
James Inman
Categories:
funny, january, sad, sweet, tribute,
Me and Eeyore, On the Year of My Birth
Just my mother tryin for
anothur moment of agonised , blisful but
nevurending hapiness, sharin with no one hur
uninterupting joy until my overly large but othurwise
average head appears and the docter says, "anothur
regular ordinary baby, happy new
year I'm sory, what did you say his name was"
08/13/2015
Written by
Bl Devnath
Categories:
funny, sweet,
Sweet Jelly Baby
sweet jelly baby
never dances but allures
tongue dances while tastes
sometimes seen with cap
they are colorfully dressed
just needs few pennies
Note: Jelly baby is a flavoured candy or sweet.
Written by
Samantha-Jane Smith
Categories:
funny, roses are red,
How I Would Make a Sweet Revenge Poem
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What the h***
Happened to you?
Written by
Charmaine Chircop
Categories:
humorous,
Old Sweet Mary-Jane and Jimmy
Jim's mother in-law old sweet Mary-Jane
accused him again and put him to shame
for leaving his poo
all over her loo
I wonder who pushed her out of the train.
Written by
Solomon Ochwo-Oburu
Categories:
anxiety, beauty, emotions, first love, funny love, girlfriend
Your Sweet Face
Eva’s daughter, listen
Remove the blanket
Of dark and angry clouds
That covers your sweet face
Let the sun shine on your face
And let Adam’s handsome son
Harvest your delicious smiles
From your sweet face
That kills, kills the souls
Of many
With sweetness
And wild imagination