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Funny Poems About Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Thanksgiving poems and/or funny poems about Thanksgiving. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Thanksgiving funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Thanksgiving Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: food, humorous, thanksgiving,

THANK GOODNESS IT'S ONLY ONCE A YEAR

Turkey so dry that I can’t speak Brussel sprouts boiled for a week Roast potatoes burnt to a crisp Lumpy gravy I feel Sick Jan Allison 26th October Inspired by Andrea’s contest but not written for it!


Poem Details | by randy johnson |
Categories: food, funny, humor, thanksgiving,

How To Avoid Overeating This Thanksgiving

The perfect way to avoid overeating this Thanksgiving is to put super glue on your lips.
If you're not able to eat your Thanksgiving dinner, it can't go straight to your hips.
That's the perfect way to avoid overeating this Thanksgiving.
But if you can't get your lips unstuck, one week later you'll no longer be living.

Poem Details | by kj force |
Categories: bird, food, holiday, humor, thanksgiving,

Paying the High Price of Gas

I feel a blockage has occurred...
It must have been all that stuffing and Turkey bird...
The gurgles, the rumbling, the passing of gas...
It’s beyond my control ,Oh dear, please let this pass...
We have guests you see...
So I don’t have the privilege to just get up and flee...
No one should ever be in this state...
And I should never have put so much on my plate... 
Cause now I’m paying and to my demise ...
The rite of passage has been denied...
I feel like I may blow up and explode...
It’s times like this when you miss the commode...

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous, thanksgiving,

Thomas Turkey Avoids The Dreaded Axe

Tom Turkey got lost 'midst the teeming flock,

   Thus, avoiding the dreaded chopping block!

      Hunkering down spared his life,

         Averting the carving knife!

            He now recovers from traumatic shock!

Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: funny, holiday, thanksgiving,

A Thankful Turkey

Written by Gail DeBole

When a turkey, who yearly escapes
From his owner's Thanksgiving plate,
Was asked to reveal
Why he's never a meal
He said, "That much of a turkey I ain't!"



Note: Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of each November in the United States.  President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed this as an official holiday in 1863.

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous, thanksgiving,

Eat More Chicken

Overheard at the annual convocation of a Butterball turkey flock:

"'Tis Thanksgiving again and as usual our necks are on the choppin' block!

Them pious Pilgrims began the tradition of dinin' on our hapless relations,

And ravenous *****sapiens have continued to do so fer many generations.

We're tired of 'em feastin' on our cousins, uncles, sisters and dads,

When there's tender chicken nuggets to be had by the scads and scads!

Now hear this dear brothers and sisters - this here's the bottom line:

We're gonna advertise that chicken is the better flesh upon which to dine!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by Diane Lefebvre |
Categories: bird, farm, grief, humorous, thanksgiving,

A Tale Of Two Turkeys

Poor Thomas Turkey,
Alone in his pen.
Sits solemn and scared,
For they 'did in' his hen.
 
They took her off Sunday,
Then snuffed out her life.
And now he's alone,
Cause they've eaten his wife.
 
Thanksgiving now over,
He preens with relief.
He can muster a gobble,
Along with his grief.
 
He pecks round his pen,
For some 'scratch' sprinkled there.
Grows quite happy again,
Not remotely aware . . 
 
That Christmas is coming
For family and friend,
And for Christmas, at dinner;
They'll eat turkey again.


© 2015 Diane Lefebvre

Poem Details | by Deborah Finneran |
Categories: beautiful, change, character, chocolate, food, fun, growing up, happy, heaven, humorous, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, introspection, joy, life, light, love, metaphor, philosophy, self, simple, strength, success, thank you, thanks, thanksgiving, time, today, truth, uplifting, visionary, wisdom, words,

Cookies-Food For Thought

Cookies -
Why can’t I have the chocolate one
I want more
She took my cookie
Hers is bigger than mine
I want to trade
That’s not fair

Cookies +
Thank you for the cookie
I love you
Thanks for all you do for me
I am satisfied
This is good
I am loved
Written By  Deborah Finneran :)  2013

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: confusion, funny, holiday, philosophy, social,

Thanksgiving in the mirror

With "plenty" this culture's endowed 
Bad outcomes are never allowed!
But nature's stealthy
And notes for the wealthy
Silver linings come with a cloud

Poem Details | by Anna-Marie Docherty |
Categories: anniversary, caregiving, christmas, devotion, family, freedom, girlfriend, growing up, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, journey, life, love, marriage, people, relationship, romantic, satire, song, song-thanksgiving, uplifting,

12 days of kiss-mas

On the 12th day of kiss-mass my true love sent to me
12 dirty undies
11 socks a stinking
10 shoes a humming
9 shirts for pressing
8 trousers 
7 days of take-out boxes
6 flagons of beer
5 D V D's
4 mischievous children
3 dozen wine bottles
2 ex partners
and an engagement ring under the tree

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: funny, holiday, day,

A Not So Good Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a day to be grateful,
Not a day to be grumpy or hateful.
But a burnt pumpkin pie,
And a turkey that's dry,
Might make it hard to be elateful.*


11/16/12
*(I realize elateful is not a word, but I claim poetic
   license.)































Poem Details | by Harold Hunt sr |
Categories: funny, thanksgiving,

Pizza Again

Pizza again 
The turkey was placed on the table.
Pies in the oven baking. 
The football game on tv.
Grandma yells"dinner on"
Went all of a sudden the turkey is gone. Can't be found nowhere.
The back door was open, but no one was there.
When grandpa yells pizza again!
There was no Thanksgiving dinner this night.
For the dogs on the corner had a joy. 
While we sat and gave blessing for the pizza boy 
It's pizza thanksgiving not turkey this year.

Poem Details | by Jack Clark |
Categories: funny, hilarious, holiday, humor, humorous,

Fowl Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving?  Oh no!  Not again!
I meet each one with chagrin

Such rejoicing, good fun
For everyone

Well, ‘cept me … I’m the Turkey, you see.

Poem Details | by Randy Imwalle |
Categories: animal, food, funny, holiday, humorous, thanksgiving,

Which Turkey to Take - A Thanksgiving Limerick

The man had a tough choice to make
Which of the birds should he take?
Both turkeys looked good
But he thought that he should
Take the jenny instead of the jake.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: bird, humorous, thanksgiving,

ONLY STUPID TURKEY'S VOTE FOR THANKSGIVING - FOR CONTEST

Let’s push for the turkey to be the national bird So many birds could be spared, so spread the word Every turkey should be pushing for congress To help them out of their mass slaughtering mess If the turkey becomes the national bird Maybe their clucking will still be heard They could become a protected species Rather than be in tasty thanksgiving recipes Turkey’s vote for thanksgiving to be banned Then there will be even more turkey’s ruling the land! 10~14~15 N/A in original contest

Poem Details | by Jasmine Cruz |
Categories: funny, thanksgiving,

Thanksgiving Without Turkey

( THANKSGIVING WITHOUT TURKEY )

I sat at the table, eager to eat
To have my fill, right at my seat
My father carved the Turkey
A wonderful sight
My mother asked me “dark meat or white”?
But just before my plate came near
My little dog Edgar pulled up from the rear
He jumped on the table in a single bound
Landing in the middle with nary a sound
He landed on my Turkey 
One and all could see
And right there Edgar decided to pee
I shook in horror, I quaked in fright
But in the end, I knew Edgar was right
He’s just a dog, and did what dogs do
I could not be angry, but I told him to shoo
So mother cleaned the table, and discarded the Turkey
And in it's place we had beef jerky!

Poem Details | by kevin leake |
Categories: humor, thanksgiving, thanksgiving day,

Thanksgiving





Now on this thanksgiving day
Whilst you wash your dinner away
With wine and coffee creamy topped 
And listen to the music bop
I wish you all the turkey trots




© Copyright K.C.Leake
27th November 2015
All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by Darlene Gifford |
Categories: child, humor, thanksgiving day,

A Child's Thanksgiving Prayer

The children at the table,
all bowed their heads to pray,
and said what they were thankful for,
on this Thanksgiving day.

Then last to speak
was little wide-eyed Pegs,
"Thank you, Jesus," she prayed,
"for making turkey legs."

Poem Details | by David Bose |
Categories: humor, thanksgiving,

Overlooked Tradition

Deprived pilgrim wives ruminated
On ways to get hubbies elated:
After Thanksgiving chow
Ogling men hollered “wow!”
As wet-shirted women they rated.

Poem Details | by Virginia Mitchell |
Categories: bereavement, death, emotions, farewell, feelings, humor, metaphor,

A Sad Thanksgiving Senryu


Somber Thanksgiving- Hospital bedside mourning The turkey has passed
.

Poem Details | by kevin leake |
Categories: blessing, humor, thanksgiving,

Turkey Day




Let’s thank God for this turkey day
But all of the birds have runaway
They must of seen the axe 
Don’t think they could relax
Left all their feathers in the hay



© Copyright K.C.Leake
26th November 2015
All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: christmas, fun, funny, humorous, life, prayer, thanksgiving,

Prayer for Thanksgiving

Dear Lord
We give thanks to you 
this day
for everything that we have 

And for everything 
that we do not have
and have asked you for 
in the past

would you 
please ask Santa to rush it 
and get it here 
by Christmas

Thanks Lord

Poem Details | by Bob Quigley |
Categories: funny, holiday, thanksgiving,

Spurkey

Who brought the Spam to the first Thanksgiving? The Pilgrims brought the Spam I think The Indian’s brought something to drink Though history books do not repeat it There's more to do with corn then eat it A spurkey is a wondrous sight All pink and juicy if cooked right Shaping it's a little quirky But you can make it look like turkey So what's your pleasure, breast or thigh? Or other part you'd like to try? No light or dark meat, it's a shame All the parts taste just the same The best part is, there is no waste And also, you don't have to baste But unlike birds raised in a coop There are no bones for sprukey soup Happy Thanksgiving Everyone
11/20/2011

Poem Details | by Michael Fahrenbacher |
Categories: funny, holidaythanksgiving, thanksgiving day,

Thanksgiving Day

Tummy, Tummy, oh poor Tummy!
Heaping, steaming platters behold.
A bounty splendorous and yummy,
Nuts to pies to cranberry mold.
Kitchen simmering with flavor,
Smells that cause the nose to rise.
Gather in a whiff to savor,
Indulge behind two droopy eyes.
Voices lure you from your dreaming,
Invite you to your favored chair,
Give you silverware all gleaming,

Do together a Thanksgiving prayer.
And, Tummy, Tummy stop your stressing … 
Yams, green beans, creamed corn, rolls with butter, celery sticks and carrot sticks,
mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, turkey and … dressing
!

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous, thanksgiving,

Turkey Breast Best

Turkey Breast Best

For Thanksgiving what I like best
Has to be a big turkey breast
Or if all eaten can surely rely
On a great, good looking thigh.

Myself have not been a wing man
Being pilot was part of my plan
And if I have to be more direct
Can't stand either back or neck.

Now my wife is a cooking wizard
Is great with giblets and gizzard
Ended up huffing and stuffing
After eating all of the stuffing.

Could it be possible that a canary
Likes turkey sandwich with cranberry
She's sweet just like Russell Stover
So why don't you come right over.

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet