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Funny Poems About Time or Time Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Time poems and/or funny poems about Time. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Time funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Time Poems.

Poem Details | by Jannie Breedt |
Categories: best friend, funny, grandfather, old,

Old Man Time

Redeployed in an ugly skin
Pleated and spotted and grumpy within
What I call walking ,they call shuffling
I'm bending down to tie my shoe
While Im down here what else can I do?

When driving down my lip protrudes
Only for the dentist will I open mouth
Okay , Ill wave at you but I wont smile
The dog and the toilet are my only true friends
You get up to go and then you go again

Memories are yesterday
Forgetfulness is all over today
Ill tell you what it is
But forgot what I was going to say

Got to buy dogfood
Where are my glasses?
Who am I talking to?
They've all gone away


Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, dedication, freedom, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, metaphor, mystery, nature, nostalgia, people, political, sad, satire, social, sorrow, spiritual, success, time, travel, uplifting, urban, visionary, war, write,

The Internet: Rtrn

A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: business, funny, holiday, philosophy, time,

December 21, 2012

The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend

Poem Details | by Viv Wigley |
Categories: garden, humor, spring,

Gardening time, everybody

Now that spring has arrived on the scene
to get out in the garden I'm keen
can't let one more day pass
without cutting the grass
since the light through my window is green!

Poem Details | by Sunshine Smile |
Categories: humorous, time, travel,

- Patience Test -




A terrible storm in wait
Caught by a laughing flood

While his beard grows
Several laborious hours

For the animals a floating rescue
A journey to a new adventure

Take your time
Time measured, analyzed and split


  












17.03.2017
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
(unrhymed couplets)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, time, work,

IT WAS ONE OF THOSE MORNINGS

Woke up this morning - had a dreadful shock I had not set the alarm on my clock Swore until the air turned blue - I’d missed my job interview! My family think I’m a laughing stock Got phoned this morning everything’s fine - Was offered a job by a friend of mine Any hours I choose I simply can’t lose I’m a ‘secret shopper’ my job’s divine! Contest- it was one of those mornings. Sponsor Sara Kendrick 03~05~16

Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funny

Toon Time

If I could be a cartoon character
Which one would I be
I thought about being Fred Flinstone
But he's too old-fashioned for me

And then there's maybe George Jetson
A man who knew electronics
Nothing like Yosemite Sam
Who needed to be hooked on phonics

And what about Shaggy and Scooby
You gotta love those scooby snacks
I've never really considered a Smurf
And their tiny little mushroom shacks

Or maybe I'd become a super hero
Who comes to save the day
Batman , Green Hornet or Underdog
Who puts the bad guys away

Maybe I'd live in Jellystone Park
Where Yogi is the king
For Hello Mr Ranger Sir
Is just the funniest thing



Poem Details | by jacque lee |
Categories: friendship, funny, people, time,

Ode to Trevor

We'd really like to thank you
i'm sure you left it here with love,
it really was so kind of you
but we didn't want your bug.

We thought you'd like to know
we really felt the pits
we thought of you quite often
when we had the squits.

Next time you come to visit
please leave your bugs at home,
'cause, when you bring them with you
they sure do like to roam.

So next time that we see you
I hope you come alone,
you can bring Rosie and Katie
but leave your bugs at home.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: for her, humorous, nature,

FARTING COWS - A TAXING TIME FOR FARMERS - FOR ANNE LISE

When a Norwegian cow passes gas They want to tax the gas from its ‘***’ A cow passes 4 tonnes of methane each year Just imagine the stink from its rear!!!! Thanks for the inspiration Anne Lise *** Jan Allison 31st March 2016

Poem Details | by Katrina Salem |
Categories: adventure, art, confusion, daughter, dedication, devotion, fantasy, funny, growing up, happiness, hope, imagination, inspirational, life, love, mystery, nature, on work and working, on writing and words, passion, peace, romance, social, sympathy, teen, thank you, time, travel, tribute, uplifting, visionary, words,

Enigma's Calling

Extraordinary, I am 
Craving for unusual thoughts
Endless exploration without boundary
Understanding  the gift I shouldn't fought
 
Invisible drawings in my mind
Playing with the words in my head
My passion
The food of my soul
 
I feel so lucky
The random thoughts
A lifetime companion
A self esteem builder
A goal planner
Be my forever life saver
 
I write more
I talk less
I want to please
I chose to bore
 
What tickles me the most
Is to know what I'm for
Thinking is my love
When  my mind goes empty
That's when I hate
 
My day dreaming lust
Organizing things in my mind
Playing roles of simulation
Where images of art is my vision
And words of attitude is my heart

Poem Details | by elizabeth wesley |
Categories: funny, dark, dark, time,

His Nose

The nose he wears sits on his head
It's big and round and very red;
And in the dark it always glows
It must be awful to own that nose.
There's two dark holes filled with hair
With whatever else that's hidden there;
Each time I see with great surprise
That glow that sits between his eyes.
It shines as though when night meets day
There never could be another way;
I wonder too if he can tell
If red affects his sense of smell. 
Perhaps the problem is I think
He's had in time too much to drink;
I suggested then to paint it white
And he seemed to think this was alright.

For Frank Herrera's Zaniest Poetry Contest
Elizabeth Wesley


Poem Details | by Carol Register |
Categories: funny, time, time,

Customer Service...I'm Still waiting

I'm still waiting
How much time has elapsed
Think I'll read
While I'm waiting
I just read a chapter

I do believe my call is being answered
No, a voice on a machine echoes
"Your call will be taken in the order in which it was received"

Great
What number caller was I
Probably the 1000th caller
I'll touch up my manicure
While I'm waiting

I'm still waiting
Rats
I smudged my polish on one nail
Wonder If I have time to fix it
Before they break their necks to take my call

They must be averaging one call every ten minutes
I'll continue reading

Another chapter done
I'm still waiting

Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny love,

Time Out

If love is a game, we need a referee.





Poem Details | by Cindi Rockwell |
Categories: age, funny, old, silly,

HOW TIME STOLE MY BODY

I am old. Old I am.
And frankly I don't give a damn.
I take bright pills for all my ills
And little rugrats call me gram.

Teeth are gone. Gone are they.
Can't chew my food the normal way.
I glue some in to fill my grin
I'm lucky if they stay all day!

I am vexed! Vexed am I!
And now I'm going to tell you why
I fall asleep in time to leap
And to the porcelain pony fly!

I am slow. Slow I am.
In stores I cause a traffic jam.
Joints go crack, can't bend my back
I failed my walker drive exam!

But say the word. The word just say.
And you and I can spend the day!
Let's eat prunes and sing some tunes
Then cuddle with my friend, Ben Gay!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, poetry, star,

I'M HITTING THE BIG TIME

I’ve finally hit the big time I’m going to be on the stage Reading one of my poems I’m sure to be all the rage I enquired about my dressing room Would it have a gold star on the door With champagne and flowers to greet me (I’ve read about diva’s before) You can imagine my disappointment When I was shown to the ladies loo Not enough room to swing a cat And it stinks of wee and pooh! On 20th May I will be performing one of my funny poems at a local charity event to raise awareness and money for Parkinson’s disease – this poem came about after chatting with one of the organisers 05~05~16

Poem Details | by William Robinson |
Categories: funny, history, on writing and words,

AHEAD OF HIS TIME

Young Shakespeare didst say to his tutor,
"Methinks I wouldst be much astuter,
And per chance, I wouldst say,
Mightest write a screen play,
If some fool wouldst invent the computer."

Poem Details | by harry horsman |
Categories: funny,

Doing Time in Kimo

Thirty days hath September, April, June
November and anyone...
over the speed limit. 

 © Harry J Horsman  2011


Poem Details | by Xavier Keough |
Categories: father, funny, introspection, life, time,

Man

I’m a man
In case you couldn’t see
I don’t use the word “poopie”
And I’m addicted to TV
I’m a man
Who doesn't have time to bleed
But who still has compassion
For blind, busty women in need
I’m a man
Who isn’t defined by “it”
Though affectionate enough
To scratch a public itch
I’m a man
Driven by real adventure
Falling asleep on the sofa
Still wearing my dentures
I’m a man
A wild stud in full bloom
Waiting in the Jacuzzi 
Picking my Fruit of the Loom
I’m a man
Who hates to be mean
Crying in the bathroom
When it’s time to clean
I’m a man
Nothing more or less
A mountain of masculinity
Who never ceases to impress

Poem Details | by Andrew Rymill |
Categories: adventure, fantasy, funny, imagination, inspirational, introspection, science fiction, space, time,

Bending Spoons

 

...A poem
is a spoon
that you can bend
with your mind.

It depends on psi
if you 
are mutant 
X or Y 
a paranormal opportunity 
or a wild talent
of psionic penmanship .

Stare at the pattern 
on the handle
as you imagine 
the handle
either roses or unicorns
are emblazon here.

So much the better
as your mind
bends the words
and the metal obeys...

Spoon begins to tremble
there is no knife
to run away with.

Then comes
the period
like an empty plate.
to contain
a bent spoon
with squeezed letters...

Poem Details | by William Robinson |
Categories: children, funny, loss, time,

HEARING THINGS

Long ago, when I was young,
Before my hearing began to fail,
Why, I could hear a boll weevil
Tiptoe across a cotton bale.
                                                  
But many years have come and gone;
The ghetto blaster took its toll.
Now I couldn't hear an elephant
Dance in clogs with wooden soles.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: art, bullying, friend, friendship, happy, humorous,

Tech Time with Tim Collab

Do you have:
  a broken phone?
  faulty drone?
  apple with worms?
  broken windows?

Call for Tim
and in a whim

he delivers
tech support at its best
you drink
while he tests

He delivers
version 2.2
And all he asks
is that YOU
are happy when all
is brandnew!

Happy hour
drinks two for one
cheers for Tim
Repairs all but done

More tequila and gin!


Poem Details | by Christy Hardy |
Categories: food, funny, life, time, visionary,

Head Chef

The special today,
is Tom's Stew,
more than enough,
for all of you.
Homemade bread,
with garlic, and chives,
real butter without calories,
dripping from the sides.
Strawberry Shortcake,
heaping with cream,
fresh from scratch,
right out of a dream.
Eat all you want,
get happy, and stuffed,
take some with you,
he insist you have enough.
Open all night,
his lights always on,
place your orders,
before it is all gone.

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: humorous, valentines day,

Valen-time

Valen-time  a woman's perspective 
Inspired by one of Jan Alison's recent writes


You've given me red roses
carnations violets too
You even gave me tulips
To show your love was true

But now these days it seems
that the garden must be dead
'Cause the only kind of (flower)
that I get's for making bread

Poem Details | by William Robinson |
Categories: funny, life, time,

HOW OLD?

Time--it moves like a scalded cat, 
And I--I creep like a snail.
Like a long tailed cat in a lawn mower's path,
I am nearing the end of my tale.

Now, it's said that you're only as old as you feel,
And aging, they say, doesn't hurt,
But, try to believe you're as young as you feel,
When you feel like you're older than dirt.

Poem Details | by William Robinson |
Categories: childhood, funny, people,

LUNCH TIME

Ethan Alan Eaton ate an earthworm,
So, Ethan Alan's sister Sybel said.
But little Ethan Alan doesn't talk, yet; 
So he just sucked his thumb and burped, instead.