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Funny Poems About Water or Water Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Water poems and/or funny poems about Water. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Water funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Water Poems.

Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,

Hope

Don't rush to wash off the sea salt 
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny,

Black-Water Blues

Diz Cajonne dey call Thibodaux
Paddle dis girl in his Pirogue
Den he see dem unmention
Dad tool stan at attention
She slap him stick HARD doncha' know

Dad pole shrink awful fas he yell whoa!
Sha, whad did you swat dad ting fo?
Now it at parade rest
Like diz bird in a nest
She-say-"I-scared-a'-dem-SNAKE-buddy-ohh!"

PD's contest

Poem Details | by john beharry |
Categories: bird, color, humor, red, sky, water,

Bird Poop In My Eye

Looking up into the sky
a bird pooped in my eye
as it was flying overhead
causing me to see red

It was warm and soggy
making me feel queasy
I scurried into the house
like an upset little mouse

I headed for the kitchen sink
and got there in a blink
Using the faucet spout
I tried to flush it out

When it was expelled
it had a funny smell
and the sink water
had a dirty colour

So when a bird is flying overhead
keep your head down instead
Do not look up into the sky
or you may get poop in your eye



Poem Details | by Samuel Lee |
Categories: abuse, addiction, allegory, death, funny, metaphor, water,

To You, Crocodile

The river dragon of crimson streams
Swiftly swimming to bring my end
As I’m standing alone at the silent shore
The beast from this murk suddenly ascends.
Gripping my face in her flawless jaws
The teeth latched efficiently into flesh
Pulling me quickly into the depths
Dragging me into the shallow grave.
Surrounded in filth, drowning in the banks
The apex predator’s grip never relenting
All I can do is break, bleed and decompose
Hoping for some relief in the pending death.
I find some comfort in this prolonged pain,
Because I haven’t felt a thing in ages.    


Poem Details | by lim'rik flats |
Categories: humor, water,

Confessions of a Double Barreled Drama Queen

(just kidding, maybe should be titled:  H to O)


career plan

He wants to be a pool boy
sitting round the pond
with a leather-tan employer
wearing nothing but her blonde.


when too little is not enough

He wanted to be a pool boy
so he wore a string.
She fired him ‘cause it covered
just one tiny thing.


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: beauty, dream, emotions, funny, growth, nature, water,

Bill's Cucumbers

There once was a Nun who knew Bill For his cucumbers gave her a thrill Off to sleep she went, dreamt Her thoughts heavenly sent All sweating she woke up with a shrill Now embarrassed she's off to confess That a cucumbers left her distressed To the Father she cries Would they be Bill's he replied I've dreamt, now let us totally repent < came to me after reading Jan Allison's 'Limerick' about Bill's Cucumbers >

Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: bird, humor, nature, water,

The Waddling Vagrants

The Wellington Harbor vagrants that waddled
Removed from the sushi stand where they coddled
Were heard to say,
"That is okay,"
"For it badly needs to be remodeled"
   



New Zealand Police Detain Penguins 
New Zealand Police on Monday arrested a pair of penguins as they were caught loitering outside a sushi outlet. The birds, described as "waddling vagrants" were held near a Wellington train station as they made their way to a nearby Sushi Bi.

Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: abuse, animal, bullying, death, funny, humor, imagination, water,

BUNNY

    -Bunny Hole- by:SKAT

hidden muddy home
dirty paws, good boy' good boy!
yummy with carrots :)

----------------------------

  -Unwanted Fluffiness- by:PD

Big Brown Burlap Bag
drop Bunnies down By the Bay
Better off -Blue grave



~SKAT & PD~

Poem Details | by Laura Breidenthal |
Categories: beautiful, child, childhood, children, emotions, family, feelings, kids, giggle, growing up,

Water Balloons

stretching it
balloon breaks on faucet
spray giggles

5-14-13

Poem Details | by Nigel Fox |
Categories: humor, malayalam, science, yellow,

Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water

Vodka
That is what they drink
never water
on no account will a Commie ever drink water
and not without good reason
water that's what I'm getting at
water is the source of all life
seven tenths of this Earth's surface is water
why do you realize that 70 percent of you is water
as human beings you and I 
need fresh pure water to replenish our precious bodily fluids.
are you beginning to understand

That’s why I drink only distilled water
rainwater
or pure-grain alcohol

Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation
do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived 
the most and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: humorous, metaphor, mothers day, success, water,

I am a Genius

I am who I was born to be

Another voice of sanity
Maybe crazy, but do you know?

Art nouveau, in words I paint

Greatness of the pen, this is me
Eternal thoughts into ink I write
Nothing escapes this brilliant mind
I compose for those who see, and those whom are blind
Universal wisdom's, happiness in verse
Salvation or wine, the poison is free







Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: adventure, funny, satire,

The under water solution

When the money is mostly spent
Find the lowest terms for the rent
A car on a train
Protects well from the rain
But better yet let's get a tent

Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny,

I Prefer a Little Water with My Tea

Head straight to the coffee pot after I pee
What happened this morning? Good god mercy me
Empty Folgers can
Was I pissed? Yes ma’am
(Four extra-large bags make a fine cup ‘o tea)

Poem Details | by cecil hickman |
Categories: adventure, funny, imagination, places, spacewater, water,

Spaceship (acrostic with rhyme)

Spend your hard-earned cash on fuel for takeoff.
Pray that the government does not find out until gone.
Allow your free time for checking weather, not golf.
Case the local food store for dry goods you can con.
Evaluate your water supply needs, no water in cosmos.
Secure a safe place for waste, body waste floats to easy.
Have welding knowledge, so your stored rocket is close.
Internet may bring suspicion making government queasy.
Plan to go up straight in the air, horizontal rockets scare.

Poem Details | by Mark Toney |
Categories: business, happy, humorous, poetry, water, word play,

Chasing Unicorns

Unicorn float stuck

Unicorn startups' luck

Poem Details | by Maurice Lamony |
Categories: allusion, hilarious, humor, imagery, nature, poetry, winter,

I walked on water

It was a Sunday
The reverend preached about faith
He spoke of Jesus walking on water
And peter failing to
Cause he had no faith

Now to cut it short,
I have so much faith it makes me blush
So on my way from church
I went down the river and replicated my lord
I said a silent prayer and sent a foot forward

Step by step, breath by breath
I walked across the river
But even in shoes, I felt the cold of the water
For it was winter and river was frozen
Stone hard, ice cold
But still, I walked on water.

Poem Details | by Thomas Martin |
Categories: animal, hilarious, water,

Crazy Joe

Crazy joe had an elephant,
who he rode with some elegance,
until he wound up in his trunk
and into the drink was dunked
and cursed it's smiling arrogance

Poem Details | by John lawless |
Categories: deep, humor, water,

WATER LOO - nfc

WATER LOO


Water water everywhere*
and oh how it did stink
water water everywhere
and all my undies pink

alone amid the rising tide
of baby toys and diapers
I stand in brownish bubbling surf
wondering which is riper

my mutinous crew has left the ship
fleeing from the putrid stench
I’ve also been abandoned by
my “ever-faithful” wench.

Alas as Captain I must endure
consequences of this blunder
hold my nose as I await
my rescue by - the plumber.


John G. Lawless
3/30/2016

My apologies to Samuel Taylor Coleridge for stealing this line from his poem
“The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”

Poem Details | by Christina Hons |
Categories: fun, hope, humor, light, river, water, weather,

What I Accomplished Today

What I had planned for the day is no longer an option for me.
20 minutes on a full body vibration machine
30 minutes in a sauna. Same for the oxygen bar.
A free lunch with my friend, but I cannot get to my car.
It has been pouring down rain for a few days. Everything is starting to flood.
Today I will be unable to meet my friend with a microscope who's fascinated by blood.
Turned on the television. Someone discussing Greek and Roman Parthenons.
Oh goody! What joy! It's an Ancient Aliens marathon.
Flipped open my journal looking for something to do.
Guess I'll enter a poetry contest or two.

May 15, 2015

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, health, imagination, inspirational,

Flowing Creek Water

Since the rain graced our little creek,
Running whooshing liquid fills crevices
Of rocks, pebbles then babbles squeak.
Racing surging constantly balances

Cadences of rhythm causes gurlging.
The poetic quality calms relaxes.
Lapping kisses caress stones~no pounding.
Calming tranquil scene heart rhythm fixes.

Ameliorate health; opens wide heart
To nature_ and wonder of soothing
Sounds~creek's gushing words of art
Relaxing mind__accommodating 


Poem Details | by David MacLennan |
Categories: humorous,

Water Under the Bridge

Under a bridge where I sit,
Watching the water go by,
When along came a piece of ****
And I had to ask myself, Why?

Till water under the bridge to say,
Did not seem appropriate anymore;
Sitting there amidst the decay,
More turds I saw from the shore.

Now to shrug off, say what?
Like water under the bridge, okay!
But maybe off my damn butt
And clean up the river I'll say.

Till water under the bridge no more,
No longer with a shrug to say it;
I'm getting off of my butt before,
Yet, another Cliché is full of ****.

Poem Details | by Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser |
Categories: beautiful, feelings, how i feel, humor, imagery, water,

A QUICKIE

Colorful bouncing bubbles pops close and constellate . . . As I am tease and toss by brisk ocean waves Rollicking lots from me wonder, laughter, thrill and chase Surfing! Surfing side by side with bubbles and playful tides Arousing both from me a fountain of youth, excitement and race!
(c) Olive Eloisa 11:36pm June 19, 2014 ***i love those bubbles.. :D!!! weeeeee!!!!

Poem Details | by Mike Gentile |
Categories: caregiving, humor, humorous, water,

Drowning Ivy

Here she comes again with that dingy pink watering can
    I’m soaked as it is; I’ve tried to tell her, STOP WATERING!
But no, thirsty or not, I’d better get ready for it

Now Lily doesn’t mind, Peace Lily, that is, she drinks a lot
     And that’s her business but I’m turning brown down to the roots

Hey Lily, wake up girl; I don’t like to talk but, PASSED OUT AGAIN!

As for me, is a little soil test too much to ask for?
     It’s a bit ticklish, a finger in a sensitive spot
But she’d know that we are all not thirsty at the same time

Well, for now, back to her favorite game, DROWNING IVY! 

9/18/17

Poem Details | by Bill Lindsay |
Categories: funny, imagination, inspirational, uplifting, water,

Outside My Window for contest

A million shimmering lights twinkling in the moonlight 
paint their glittering shadows across the blue lagoon, 
as upturned dancing candles’ hot flickering fingers
curl to beckon me beneath the whispering waters.

Two swans; lost in their embrace, interlaced with shadows;
serenity in motion, but not a ripple made.
Patrolling borders as one, parading their passion   
as if no-one is watching, together forever.

But the vista disappears as harsh tones fill my ears
and my new panorama now slides away from sight;
the truck which bore my tableau pulls away to reveal
in it’s glory, the old view; my neighbour's dull back yard. 

Bill Lindsay 

September 12th 2015

Poem Details | by Kyle Boyce |
Categories: adventure, funny, humor,

The Shallow Water

I dipped my toes into the water
Warning me not to was my father
He said the water was home
Home to a monster to whom the sea was his throne
Then my toe felt something course
Rush over my skin like a horse
By then it was too late
My body, I fear, had been ate
And so from only the shallows 
My soul had entered that gallows