Humorous and funny Water poems and/or funny poems about Water. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Water funny poems!
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny,
Black-Water Blues
Diz Cajonne dey call Thibodaux
Paddle dis girl in his Pirogue
Den he see dem unmention
Dad tool stan at attention
She slap him stick HARD doncha' know
Dad pole shrink awful fas he yell whoa!
Sha, whad did you swat dad ting fo?
Now it at parade rest
Like diz bird in a nest
She-say-"I-scared-a'-dem-SNAKE-buddy-ohh!"
PD's contest
Written by
John Beharry
Categories:
bird, color, humor, red, sky, water
Bird Poop In My Eye
Looking up into the sky
a bird pooped in my eye
as it was flying overhead
causing me to see red
It was warm and soggy
making me feel queasy
I scurried into the house
like an upset little mouse
I headed for the kitchen sink
and got there in a blink
Using the faucet spout
I tried to flush it out
When it was expelled
it had a funny smell
and the sink water
had a dirty colour
So when a bird is flying overhead
keep your head down instead
Do not look up into the sky
or you may get poop in your eye
Written by
Lim'Rik Flats
Categories:
humor, water,
Confessions of a Double Barreled Drama Queen
(just kidding, maybe should be titled: H to O)
career plan
He wants to be a pool boy
sitting round the pond
with a leather-tan employer
wearing nothing but her blonde.
when too little is not enough
He wanted to be a pool boy
so he wore a string.
She fired him ‘cause it covered
just one tiny thing.
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
fun, giggle, travel, uplifting, water, world
Santa Got Stranded in Florida - POTD
Santa and reindeer's were very tired,
they had one more area left to do.
This last place was very big,
it's name was Florida.
They must come in over land,
hitting the water they will make a huge splash.
Rudolph must see the tall lighthouse,
a bright light lighting their way.
It was a hard landing on the sand,
the sled broke.
Sunny Florida with warm temperatures,
a great place for Santa to be stranded.
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
bird, humor, nature, water,
The Waddling Vagrants
The Wellington Harbor vagrants that waddled
Removed from the sushi stand where they coddled
Were heard to say,
"That is okay,"
"For it badly needs to be remodeled"
New Zealand Police Detain Penguins
New Zealand Police on Monday arrested a pair of penguins as they were caught loitering outside a sushi outlet. The birds, described as "waddling vagrants" were held near a Wellington train station as they made their way to a nearby Sushi Bi.
Written by
Nigel Fox
Categories:
humor, malayalam, science, yellow,
Have You Ever Seen a Commie Drink a Glass of Water
Vodka
That is what they drink
never water
on no account will a Commie ever drink water
and not without good reason
water that's what I'm getting at
water is the source of all life
seven tenths of this Earth's surface is water
why do you realize that 70 percent of you is water
as human beings you and I
need fresh pure water to replenish our precious bodily fluids.
are you beginning to understand
That’s why I drink only distilled water
rainwater
or pure-grain alcohol
Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation
do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived
the most and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
humorous, metaphor, mothers day, success, water,
I Am a Genius
I am who I was born to be
Another voice of sanity
Maybe crazy, but do you know?
Art nouveau, in words I paint
Greatness of the pen, this is me
Eternal thoughts into ink I write
Nothing escapes this brilliant mind
I compose for those who see, and those whom are blind
Universal wisdom's, happiness in verse
Salvation or wine, the poison is free
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
adventure, funny, satire,
The Under Water Solution
When the money is mostly spent
Find the lowest terms for the rent
A car on a train
Protects well from the rain
But better yet let's get a tent
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny,
I Prefer a Little Water With My Tea
Head straight to the coffee pot after I pee
What happened this morning? Good god mercy me
Empty Folgers can
Was I pissed? Yes ma’am
(Four extra-large bags make a fine cup ‘o tea)
Written by
Wilma Neels
Categories:
funny
'hot Water Bottle'
hot water bottle
just a temporary cure
until his return
29/05/2011... 22:00
*wishful thinking on my part*
lol
Written by
Cecil Hickman
Categories:
adventure, funny, imagination, places, spacewater, water
Spaceship (Acrostic With Rhyme)
Spend your hard-earned cash on fuel for takeoff.
Pray that the government does not find out until gone.
Allow your free time for checking weather, not golf.
Case the local food store for dry goods you can con.
Evaluate your water supply needs, no water in cosmos.
Secure a safe place for waste, body waste floats to easy.
Have welding knowledge, so your stored rocket is close.
Internet may bring suspicion making government queasy.
Plan to go up straight in the air, horizontal rockets scare.
Written by
Mark Toney
Categories:
business, happy, humorous, poetry, water, word play
Chasing Unicorns
Unicorn float stuck
Unicorn startups' luck
Written by
Thomas Martin
Categories:
animal, hilarious, water,
Crazy Joe
Crazy joe had an elephant,
who he rode with some elegance,
until he wound up in his trunk
and into the drink was dunked
and cursed it's smiling arrogance
Written by
Maurice Lamony
Categories:
allusion, hilarious, humor, imagery, nature, poetry
I Walked On Water
It was a Sunday
The reverend preached about faith
He spoke of Jesus walking on water
And peter failing to
Cause he had no faith
Now to cut it short,
I have so much faith it makes me blush
So on my way from church
I went down the river and replicated my lord
I said a silent prayer and sent a foot forward
Step by step, breath by breath
I walked across the river
But even in shoes, I felt the cold of the water
For it was winter and river was frozen
Stone hard, ice cold
But still, I walked on water.
Written by
Christina Hons
Categories:
fun, hope, humor, light, river, water
What I Accomplished Today
What I had planned for the day is no longer an option for me.
20 minutes on a full body vibration machine
30 minutes in a sauna. Same for the oxygen bar.
A free lunch with my friend, but I cannot get to my car.
It has been pouring down rain for a few days. Everything is starting to flood.
Today I will be unable to meet my friend with a microscope who's fascinated by blood.
Turned on the television. Someone discussing Greek and Roman Parthenons.
Oh goody! What joy! It's an Ancient Aliens marathon.
Flipped open my journal looking for something to do.
Guess I'll enter a poetry contest or two.
May 15, 2015
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
humor, water,
Cleaned Out
Robb Wilkins took three showers a day
he overdid some things he'd say.
But alas to his strain
less of him did remain
until he showered himself away.
Written by
L Milton Hankins
Categories:
humor, water,
Waterproofing
Wearisome weatherman
Wears watertight wedgies
With wide well-worn webbing
When wading wherever
Warming water washes
Waterborne wastepaper
Wandering whereabouts.
FOURTH PLACE WINNER
Written May 9, 2021
for "Pleiades "W" Contest"
sponsored by Kim Merryman
7 lines with 6 syllables each checked by HMS.
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, health, imagination, inspirational,
Flowing Creek Water
Since the rain graced our little creek,
Running whooshing liquid fills crevices
Of rocks, pebbles then babbles squeak.
Racing surging constantly balances
Cadences of rhythm causes gurlging.
The poetic quality calms relaxes.
Lapping kisses caress stones~no pounding.
Calming tranquil scene heart rhythm fixes.
Ameliorate health; opens wide heart
To nature_ and wonder of soothing
Sounds~creek's gushing words of art
Relaxing mind__accommodating
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
humor, water,
Good Samaritan Twist of Fate
You all came in from the cold shivering
all dressed in red which is bewildering
you'd stay and hover
cause some clutter
but at least you all stopped quivering
Again found you at my kitchen sink
I thought perhaps you all wanted a drink
so I ran the tap water
not thinking it was slaughter
oh ladybugs the way you died just stinks!
2-18-18
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
deep, humor, water,
Water Loo - Nfc
WATER LOO
Water water everywhere*
and oh how it did stink
water water everywhere
and all my undies pink
alone amid the rising tide
of baby toys and diapers
I stand in brownish bubbling surf
wondering which is riper
my mutinous crew has left the ship
fleeing from the putrid stench
I’ve also been abandoned by
my “ever-faithful” wench.
Alas as Captain I must endure
consequences of this blunder
hold my nose as I await
my rescue by - the plumber.
John G. Lawless
3/30/2016
My apologies to Samuel Taylor Coleridge for stealing this line from his poem
“The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”
Written by
David Maclennan
Categories:
humorous,
Water Under the Bridge
Under a bridge where I sit,
Watching the water go by,
When along came a piece of ****
And I had to ask myself, Why?
Till water under the bridge to say,
Did not seem appropriate anymore;
Sitting there amidst the decay,
More turds I saw from the shore.
Now to shrug off, say what?
Like water under the bridge, okay!
But maybe off my damn butt
And clean up the river I'll say.
Till water under the bridge no more,
No longer with a shrug to say it;
I'm getting off of my butt before,
Yet, another Cliché is full of ****.
Written by
Mike Gentile
Categories:
caregiving, humor, humorous, water,
Drowning Ivy
Here she comes again with that dingy pink watering can
I’m soaked as it is; I’ve tried to tell her, STOP WATERING!
But no, thirsty or not, I’d better get ready for it
Now Lily doesn’t mind, Peace Lily, that is, she drinks a lot
And that’s her business but I’m turning brown down to the roots
Hey Lily, wake up girl; I don’t like to talk but, PASSED OUT AGAIN!
As for me, is a little soil test too much to ask for?
It’s a bit ticklish, a finger in a sensitive spot
But she’d know that we are all not thirsty at the same time
Well, for now, back to her favorite game, DROWNING IVY!
9/18/17
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, water,
Head Boy
Live head-lice thrive on Peter's crown
Head's itchy it's making him frown
But young Peter's no fool
Dunks his head in the pool
He's hoping all the critters drown!
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
animals, children, funny, nature,
Otter In the Water
If you should see an otter
Disappear beneath the water,
Whether in a brook
Or in the briny sea,
Just let me say, it's best you
Don't call a lifeguard to the rescue,
For in the water is exactly
Where an otter oughter be.
Written by
Bill Lindsay
Categories:
funny, imagination, inspirational, uplifting, water,
Outside My Window For Contest
A million shimmering lights twinkling in the moonlight
paint their glittering shadows across the blue lagoon,
as upturned dancing candles’ hot flickering fingers
curl to beckon me beneath the whispering waters.
Two swans; lost in their embrace, interlaced with shadows;
serenity in motion, but not a ripple made.
Patrolling borders as one, parading their passion
as if no-one is watching, together forever.
But the vista disappears as harsh tones fill my ears
and my new panorama now slides away from sight;
the truck which bore my tableau pulls away to reveal
in it’s glory, the old view; my neighbour's dull back yard.
Bill Lindsay
September 12th 2015