Humorous and funny Wedding poems and/or funny poems about Wedding. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Wedding funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Wedding Poems.
An outdoor wedding, no sign of rain
The bride’s gown had a 10-foot train
Crossing the lawn to her bequeathed
Fido snatched the train in his teeth
And Pop watched eight grand go down the drain
conflict, food, humorous, wedding,
My baker’s commissioned to bake
A huge cow shaped iced wedding cake
The groom is a farmer
He sure is a charmer
Its design could lead to heartbreak
When the bride saw the cake how she cried
Her traditional cake was denied
She screamed at the groom
Get out of this room
Then she plunged the knife in the cow’s side
Inspired by but not for contest
Had my hair color treated
To surprise the wedding guests
Shock came at the rehearsal
Groom wanted to leave
His once-blonde bride had green curls
She’d been hoping for brunette
Oh, how the bridesmaids chuckled
Wig worn at wedding
Sadly, a true story.
humorous, relationship, wedding,
HUGE chest …
Any poem written in March NOT for a contest
Sponsored by Laura Loo
funny, love, proposal,
The knives and plate were always between us
With your sister, you were hanging out
With those two handsome knives
At all breakfast, lunch and dinner times
But when you were in the dishwasher
The playboy knife cheated on you
On the dessert plates
Tons of times
Please don’t let him to deceive you
I am the one who will always love you
funny, wedding, february,
In the month of February 'twas fate
We chose our special wedding date
A love, I cannot explain
Couldnâ€™t wait to take his name
So why do I still hyphenate?
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, January 30, 2012
for Linda-Marie's February Funny Bone contest
First place finish
computer-internet, family, children, funny, husband, wedding, wife
I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”
funny, history, uplifting, urban, visionary, war, wedding, wife
Please, sir, some meat and bread
I've not had a morsel for a week
It would stop this terrible hunger
My prospects now are terribly bleak
It's said the Earl is tender hearted
And oh so bloody awful rich
If I could have a taste of his
I'd call the thing a Sandwich
I hate to just come a beggin'
But I'm so hungry I am seeing red
Won't you ask the Earl again
Please, sir, some meat and bread.......
For Joe's Sandwich contest...lol
humor, marriage, wedding,
It was the sixth wedding for daughter Judy
who was quite plain and hardly a beauty.
Time came to give away the bride
whereupon her Father replied
"five times I've tried--I've done my duty."
A Wedding During Football Season
By Elton Camp
It has often wisely been said
Football season’s no time to wed
Let’s make one thing quite clear
It’s only four months of the year
So a wedding on the day of a game
Is so incredibly selfish and lame
Your wedding may be significant to you
But football games are important too
Those tickets are incredibly hard to get
So when nobody attends, don’t have a fit
Far down the list your wedding does rate
You need to get your priorities straight
Rather than put your friends on the spot
If you must wed then, use the parking lot
During halftime, the ceremony can be done
A tailgate reception is elegant and fun
Robert L. Hinshaw
Pa held shotgun to his head
"Marry her son or you're dead"
"It wasn't me" the lad pled
"Yes it was" she said
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 2 in John Freeman's " Love or Humor" Contest - January 2011
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, life, love, passion, people, romance, wedding, wife,
You messed around
and married a real
"pain-in-the butt" man
known throughout the land
his only claim to fame
is over reacting
and lacking class
a self-proclaimed pain in the ***
a crook with line
and hook to cast
things will never be the same
trade away your maiden name
to Mrs. Hemorrhoid
and wear his name with class.
Mohammad Taha Effendi
funny, husband, wedding, wife,
"The Hen-pecked Husband"
By M. Taha Effendi
The door bell rang yet again,
and yonder heard the distinct voice,
of my dear old wife, full of pain,
drowned all my dreams of rejoice.
then came the thundering slap,
that landed on my cheek now red,
and as I panicked out of my nap,
I realized I had wet my bed.
angst, family, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, love, romance, wedding, wife
Just out of college, we would yearn for a touch
Sleeping together cuddled on the couch
Those were the days!
Of pre-wedding bouquets
Now I am told to go sleep alone on the couch
childhood, death, family, funny, husband, wedding, wife,
A baby, pious, was born by aide
He named it Gaias, and felt like a jade
While he cried,
Cause mommy died.
His wife hired yet another maid.
Theresa a.k.a. Reecie
She cried at the wedding ceremony
Happy tears, like beautiful peonies
They didn't wed
Like she had said
So she won a ton of U O Me's.
Tossing the Bridal Bouquet
By Elton Camp
Their wedding vows bride and groom did say
One more task before they make their getaway
A tradition that started five hundred years ago
But one that is still considered to be fun though
The single ladies are called and all gather about
While the bride throws her bouquet with a shout
Because, by tradition, it has jokingly been said
She who catches it will be the next to be wed
Macey hoped they won’t see her expanding waist
And she came rushing over with greatest haste
The other single girls she brushed right on past
For she had a reason she shouldn’t be wed last
anniversary, funny, wedding
Stylish Zelli's shoes are unique,
they stand out in my neat boutique;
what a distinguished look
in a suit nobody took...
green cognac is gorgeous and chic!
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
art, food, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, husband, life, love, on writing and words, people, places, romance, social, wedding, wife,
a whole lotta' spoonin'
goin' on in the "Soup"
nosin' around the comment coral
I see love
amongst the group
marriage scent in the air
where it leads...
we shall see
I know some
are dippin' crackers in the "Soup"
but Lawd' knows
IT AIN'T ME!~
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
animals, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, life, nature, people, wedding, wife,
She's got a plan
just moved to Florida
one week in the hole
a forced proposal...
maybe if I get a job with insurance;
we'll get married...
then you'll have insurance too!"
the spider web is officially constructed
no...we'll name it
the Black Widow!
confusion, funny, husband, wedding,
On the wedding
The Bishop co-ordinating
Called in the groom
Only awaiting the bride
Hymns going up in the air
Half hour passed
And yet she is unarrived
"What is delaying you?"
The groom yelled at the Bishop
"Your bride isn't here"
With a dimple from the groom's cheek
Loke side way at his bride
"He has long arrived
I am gay"
adventure, allegory, angst, animals, confusion, cowboy-western, devotion, fantasy, funny, imagination, inspirational, philosophy, romance, slam, social, sorry, thank you, uplifting, war, wedding,
Take me there
I don't care
Touch my hair
Eat this pear!!!
I am bare
Want to share?
Do you care?
I am bear
I'll let you stare
Don't go there
By the chair
Or on that stair?
Your skin is fair
You look like Cher
Come to my lair
But pay my fare
Drippity drip drip
adventure, art, faith, family, father, food, friendship, funny, health, music, mystery, time, travel, uplifting, visionary, wedding, beauty, beauty,
....simply beautiful... it is of beauty to simply write such love letters of poetry,
letters joining hands within a sky of words setting a background, upon the "Sea", setting sail.. within a wordsong, as playing winds, just swirl around beautifully of air, that blows a kiss to an angeled choir to sing in perfect key, life, the spice, the scented beauty of a rose in full bloom, the scented beauty of a heart beat, beating in time, with rhyme being so kind hearted and true blue of the deep.
beautiful, betrayal, engagement, funny love, girlfriend, goodbye, wedding,
Oh sweet bride to be
as the flowers bloom
you snuck to my room
in hopes of a lustful spoon
Groom anxiously awaits
as your father opens the front gates
No one will comprehend our fate
Face to face we engage
Stockings, undergarments and satin lace
on the floor they lay
We embrace and grind away
betrayal, humorous, sad love, wedding,
Ted purchased an Internet bride
She arrived and stood at Ted’s side
But imagine Ted’s shock –
His new ‘bride’ had a ****
Ted’s chagrin cannot be denied
Ted discovered his ‘brides’ name was Bill
Who’d grown breasts with the aid of a pill
Ted was very annoyed
Said their marriage was void
The thought of sex now made him feel ill!
Inspired by a comment Arthur made on my poem posted yesterday called Mail Order Brides
17th February 2017